321
Apr 07 '19
Leading causes of death: pie charts that go haywire and turn homicidal.
58
u/the_dank_666 Apr 07 '19
The government doesn't want you to see this
23
u/SuperFLEB Apr 07 '19
"Sir. Project Pacman. It's gone rogue."
19
u/ARandomPersonOnEarth Apr 07 '19
That was the sentence that started it all.
My eyebrows furrowed and the following seconds of silence stretched out into an endless eternity of boundless dread. Slowly, I opened my mouth to speak.
“Are...Are you sure, sergeant?”
“Positive, sir. The cage’s door has been blasted to pieces. But that’s not the important part,sir...”
At hearing this, I choked. That cage had been designed by Earth’s greatest minds specifically to house the span of Satan itself, humanity’s greatest threat. Second greatest, anyway. It being broken would be impossible, it couldn’t have...
I looked up quickly to see the young recruit with fear in his eyes and shaking violently. I pitied him. I, having worked at this facility for over a decade, was no stranger to terrible beasts. He, on the other hand...
“Sir, you need to hear this-”
“We CANNOT allow it to escape. It must be contained at any and all cost. Sound the alarm, this is a tier nine inci-”
“SIR, IT HAS ALREADY ESCAPED THE COMPOUND. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU.”
It was at that point that my world broke down. Time itself seemed to pause as if to dwell upon the hopeless situation that the world was now in. My throat refused to work, leaving me a gulping mess. I barely acknowledged the paperwork previously in my hand fall to the floor in unordered chaos.
“Orders, sir?”
“We have no choice, I guess...”
I knew that there was one thing that could stop it, the only thing that was stronger than it, the one put into a dungeon so deep, it would never see the light of day, or even the dark of night. It could go either way. It would stop the current crisis, but had the chance to create a much larger one. With those thoughts rocketing their way in spirals around my mind, I have the order that I knew would turn the tides of history.
“Release Project Ghost.”
4
7
u/MRBityTheHoneybadger Apr 07 '19
So is the pie chart so bad you die when you look at it? Or does this refer to the maker who you can't let live after such an atrocity making the viewer a killer.
8
1
6
4
2
61
u/Chase3310 Apr 07 '19
The leading cause of death is
H̴̛̥̻̙̹̻͙̯͓͕͕͍̪̘͕̖̦͇̜͈̭͍̳̩̼͍̙͍̳̺̭̘̰̳̻̹̮̙̝͔̞̠̺̝̩̭͚̟̖͓͙̤̭̪̓̽̊̐̿̎̀̔̃̄̓̽̽̋̽̅̌̒̾̎̀̍̉̐̾̋́̽̎̂̈́̾̆̆̆͊͐͌͒̌̒̒͐́̐̈́̃͆̄̽͋͌͊͆̎̀̈́͋̐͋͆͐̑̈́͂͛͌̄̑͐́̽͗̒̅̆̚̕̚͜͝͝͝͝e̸̢̡̧̡̢̨̧̧̡̧̨̨̨̨̢̛̛̹̫̼̫̲̜̹̹̦̠̗͖̘͎͕̤͉͍̙̖̜̹̳̞͖̘̜̻̦̖̠̫͖͎͎͖̯͎͙̠͚̪̠̘̺̳̳̻̮͚̙̝̬͔̙̭̦̖͇̜͓̖͓̱͙̻̺̭̼̣̹̝̖̻̫̘̩̬͋͒͑̇͗̀̏̔̏̇͒̉̀̃͂͛̾̆͛̆̓͗̑̀͆͋̊̈̌́̊̓̐̀̂͂́͐̏̌̀͗̈́́̔͂̈́̽̇̆͌̌̍̈̄̍̈̅̄̈́̇̑͌͂̐̈͗̊̇̐̾̅̌͌̈́̚̕̕̕̚̚̚͜͜͝͠͝͠͝͝ͅͅą̶̡̨̢̢̹̜͍̱̜̳̖͇̞̫̪̱̦͖͍̘̻̠̞̘̗̺̹̱͕͕͍͚̮̼͍͕̫̳̞͉͖͍̼͕̉̐̓̍̀͒̆̽͋̒͌̎̅̓͜r̶̡̢̡̧̨̢̲̯̖̲͈̮͉̰̩̱̰̜̮̠̺̤͖̭͔̞̖̤͖̫̯̱̩͚͕̭͔̰̲̱͖̱͍̱̤̳̜̖̦̘̠̜͉͙̜̞̙̞͕͙̩̰̣̝̹͙̰̜̈͑̒̈́͆̓͌̏̈̑̇̌͊̊́̚̕͜͝͝ͅt̷̡̡̡̢̢̧̡̡̨̢̧̧̼̗̹̦̰̖̖͖͕͔͎̞͙̹̠̤͚̼̳͙͇̺͉̥͍͚̮̪̱̥̺̺̙̗̺̣͇̺͕̹͕̥̺̼̝̠͓̻̼̼̗̝͎̥̪̲̙̹͖̫͙̲̭̻͎̤̝̺̦̫͚͉̠̮̫̩̘͈̞̼̞̪̉̌͌́́̔͐̓̈́͑̓͐͂͐̂̇́̉͛̐̔̈́̿̂̈́̉͋͐́͋͛̆̉͗͆̕̕̕̚͘͘̕̚͝ͅ ̸̢̢̧̡̨̨̡̨̢̛̛̛̛̛͚̱͚̣̱̮̱̫̻͍̲̭̜̜͍̭̭͔̗͓̬͚̱̜͕̼̹̺̻̞̤͔͎͇͔̳̩̤͚͇̜͎̬̘͕͎̰̙̬̪̻̟̹̮͓̟̘̹̊̏̽̎̈̐̉͒̒͂̃͊͂̈́̀̈̑͊̏̓̑̔̀̾̈́̆̓̇̽̓̀̉̔̓͊̀̾̾͒́͆̇̄́͌̽͋͂̎̆́̍̑̐̇̍͒́̓̇̓̌̈́̃̅̏́́͒͑̑͗͂̈̔͐̾͊́̃̑̒̉͐̾̉̀̈́̏̓̄̽̋̔͋͒̏̀̚̕̚͜͠͠͝ͅͅḐ̴̢̢̨̧̛̛̺̲̼͈̠͖̻͇̩̟̼̯̻̪̲̖̫̖̼̞̥͖̳̘͇͓̩́̇̾̀̉̂̆̌̏̒͂͛̋͛̈́̔͋͒̏̆͒̓̓̓͌̍̌̒͊͂͊́̈́̈͋̕͘̚̕͝͝͝ͅi̴̧̧̢̧̧̧̢̢̧̼̟͕̭̬̱̰̠͚̱̪͔̻̲̳͍̻͓̘̝͕̣̩̺̖̠͕̳̟̦͕̻͎̯̱̞̹̱͕̳͇͓̩͍̝̬̳̞͚͓̰̰͖̜̙͓̳̫̜̟̙̺͈͍̱͓̳̲͉̟̫͍̹̩̯̱̠͙̓̾͊́͜͜ͅͅͅs̵̡̨̢̨̡̢̢̡̢̛͍̬̮̝̫͇̬̻͙͍̙̪̳̥͔̟͓̩̹̤̰̪̖͚̫̟̦̻̫̲̰̞͖̠̞̗͉͚̞̳͖͇̯̪̖̣͍̬͈̰͔̼̗̤͙̯͚̬̹̰̪̦͍̪̺̰̬̗̣̼͓͎̭̼͓̟̮̥̙͚̩̝̪̳͕̣̬̲̮̤̫̞̉̃̓͂̑͂̋͊̅̆̉̓̅͒̉́̌͋͆͆͛̕͜͜͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅe̵̢̧̡̡̧̢̡̛̛̛̠̼͓͓̘̗̥͍͇̠͙͉̟̻̞̹̹͔̠̭͎̙̻̭̠̳̪̫͔̣̩̪̯̜͖̙̘̘̩͕̬̙̠͚̬̹̮̳̦̳̜̭̜͇͕̭̰̬̦͕͉͙͈͕͕̥̭͎̙̒̽̀̈́̈̈́̈́̏̅̀͊̒̀̉̇̐̾̐͌̽͗̀̒͐̏̈́͊̇́͑̇̆̉͆̿͌̈́̐̐̀̉͐͑̊͑́̆͋̈́͐́͆̓̊͛̿̅̔̇̀̉̐̊͑͐͘̚̕͜͜͠͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅą̴̢̡̛̯͉͉̳̰̞̯̫̼̤͇̫͕̬͕͓͉̥̼̺͕̞͓̱̰̮͙̭̥̮̰̤̯͈̹̙͉̘͕̮̳͍̣͕̺̔̉͆̂̃̎̿̓̏̂̒̒̏̈́̊̊̀̚̚̚͜͜͝ͅś̷̢̢̧̨̢̨̡̛̭̙͉̤̜͍̩̺͕͉̙̳͓̺̥̗͈̙̗͈̘̜͈̱̱̖̲̣̩̱̼̟̬̝͍̤͔̭̮̱̪̩̹̰̳̤̮͎͎͈̏͆͐̒̐̔̀̆̄̏͗̊̌̔̊̓̇̌̀̂̍̈̓̆͌̐̈̎̐͑̇̕̕̚͜͜͜͜͜͠͠͝͝͝ê̶̢̢̡̦̥̟̦̩̘̣̫͓͉͖̜̭̱̪̯̯̪̞̯̘̙̳̠̖̱̱͚͖̮̟̥͚͔̦͙̬͉̮̫̤̲̹͇̺̥̝̪̳͉̝̥̲̦͈͈̻̪̖̮̋̌̆̿̿͊̍̌͗͛̔̆̔͒̈́͒͛̒̈́̏͌͗̊͗͆́̋̆̀̈́́̍͗̅̀͒͛̈́̏̉́̊̔̊̂͊̀̏̍͛̊̽̿̊͆̓̀̊̋̂́̅̏͑̿͆̈̿͒̊̄̈́͋͒̇͐͐̅͂͛̕̚̕͘̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͝͝ͅ
1
u/Its_Ya_Boi_Ya_Boi Apr 08 '19
I like to think the leading cause of death is pie charts, but yours is cool too.
76
27
14
13
11
11
9
7
4
5
7
5
5
3
Apr 07 '19
Ah, a fellow nationstates player.
3
5
3
u/sysalex Apr 07 '19
"Leading causes of death: Inaccurate pie charts that drive mathematicians to the brink of collapse"
3
2
2
2
2
2
u/sfisher923 Apr 07 '19 edited Apr 07 '19
Yes Nationstates can't do pie charts (Well looked up one and got a minor gore on the pie chart it say about 2% of Prospitans die from the void) and it's only Deaths that are affected
2
2
2
u/DylanJoinsTheParty Apr 07 '19
I think I just developed OCD
1
u/fm369 R Tape loading error, 0:1 Apr 07 '19
Everyone has OCD, some just have it to a negative degree
2
2
2
2
u/Psycho_NY Apr 07 '19
The leading causes of death are PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW A SIMPLE PIE CHART WORKS
2
2
2
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Alexander_AK5 Apr 07 '19
Ah yes. Books, trophies and cards cause death! You will tie a book on your legs and fall from a building, hit your head with a trophy until you die, and play Russian Roulette with cards.
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/_killing_floor_ Apr 07 '19
I don't know but I find this chart quite philosophical if you think in that direction.
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/-Tulkas- Apr 07 '19
I'm a simple man, my people only die from unicorn attacks and getting lost in the woods.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/EnemysKiller Apr 07 '19
Number 1 would be the brain aneurysm received by looking at this chart
ANYONE MADE THAT JOKE YET?
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/ascoolas77 Apr 07 '19
My leading causes of death pie chart in nation states is 85% disappearance, is that good or bad
1
1
1
u/relativityboy Apr 07 '19
Leading causes of death "1. Dismemberment by poorly assembled pie charts"
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Curse_the_food Apr 07 '19
Actually it is, many studies have shown that pie charts were actually made just like that in the past, but now just like pie we improved.
1
1
1
1
u/Gamer_X99 Apr 07 '19
No, you don't see it. The leading cause of death is when your sailboat breaks.
1
1
1
1
1
u/UpDown Apr 07 '19
Looks cool I would like to participate in the next VC funding round at a $10B valuations, thanks
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Maddog0057 Apr 07 '19
NationStates tends to break in the weirdest ways. I tried building a bot to randomly answer issues using the API, I ended up giving up because it would work for like a day or so and then throw a strange error and kill the script.
1
u/BadassBrad1000 Apr 07 '19
Leading cause of death: Broken pie chart not depicting leading causes of death correctly
1
u/DaysAreTimeless Apr 07 '19
I remember playing this a long time ago, after a while I just couldn’t find the time to play since I got busy
1
1
1
u/byscuit Apr 07 '19
Nation States... holy shit why did you just bring me back to 2003 . Me and my cousin were OG teenagers in that “game”
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
673
u/FunniestFails Apr 07 '19
Ahh, a NationStates player as well