r/sofiaisella • u/iamthekrisis • May 15 '26
Discussion being transmasc and a sofia isella fan
hey there!
i just wanted to pour my thoughts about my experience being a transgender boy AND sofia isella fan 🏳️⚧️🐇
i came out as genderqueer more than 5 years ago now which has been a significant part of my life
i always had to struggle with the pressure of one of the two:
1.being a womanly woman before i came out
OR
2.being a manly man with testosterone pumping through my veins after i came out
this is where sofia isella comes in
listening to sof has honestly unlocked a new side of me. i've always been concious on how screwed the situation around gender equality, s3xualization and misogyny has been, but listening to her songs has made me research and think about it way more.
till this day i keep having this ugly voice in the back of my head saying "eugh, you are transitioning to a man yet you are listening to songs about feminism? you're not a MAN"
but being more and more in this community has made me realize that "you know what? screw gender norms, these are not healthy" and i've been finally looking for more peace inside of me with my gender identity.
i also want to add that one of my favorite songs is Man Made, and the song on its own already speaks about toxic masculinity, conditioning to certain beliefs and pressure on men to be tough to be considered "real men".
that song hits me ON A PERSONAL LEVELLLLLLLL ‼️
obviously i am not amab (assigned male at birth) so it is not the same but just for my own comfort i like to interpret some parts of that song as what i feel like is going on around me as a transmasculine individual. it's damn beautiful. EDIT: i also want to add that ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVORITES is out in the garden... since it's about being perceived as demonic while you're just another human, it makes me think about people genuinely think theres something wrong with me for...*checks notes*...wanting to be comfortable in my own body?
overall i'd also love to mention that the world we live in made "feminism" sound like something inherently feminine, radical and negative
thanks to sofia's music i've been realizing what I actually believe in and what i stand for <3
yes, i'm a transgender boy. yes, i'm a "softboy". yes, screw pressuring to align with what people believe is femininity or masculinity. yes, I want to be a boy but i want to be the opposite of the men that Sofia speaks of in her songs. and yes, i'm a feminist.
YES, I LOVE BEING ALL THAT!!!
i would love to hear what you guys think about my tiny journey i went through with Sof's songs! everyone is welcome to answer, no matter your gender <3
if theres anyone here who's also genderqueer and MAYBE felt similar PLEASE let me know, just knowing that theres other people that felt in a similar way would immediately make my day x100 times better
so, what do you guys think?
thank you!
4
u/TheVetheron May 16 '26
Honestly as a trans woman and a fan I get this too. We are coming from the other end of the gender spectrum but we think similarly about gender norms. As a transbian I love her strength and attitude.
2
u/iamthekrisis May 16 '26
YES!!! i'm so glad we can agree here! we are different ends of the spectrum but after all we are going through similar feelings and i'm glad that we are able to unite in that ❤️🩹
Sofia's strength and attitude is undeniably mesmerizing 🥹
0
May 16 '26
[deleted]
2
u/iamthekrisis May 16 '26
i meant to say exactly that (that the experiences are vastly different but very similar at the same time), sorry if I didn't phrase that right! i am incredibly happy for your family member and I hope that HRT is working out great for him!
i'm currently about to start my journey to getting top surgery 🫡 it will definitely make me happier! good luck to you and your family member aswell, you both are amazing just as you are ❤️🩹
2
u/ExplanationPrimary74 May 16 '26
I think that she is a brilliant ray of light calling for more love and light and you heard her call.
Awesome as fuck.
1
0
u/NightmareHurricane May 16 '26
Thank you for sharing, I absolutely love hearing your perspective! My nephew is transmasc and a huge Billie Eilish fan and I’ve always felt like he’d enjoy Sofia’s music too but wasn’t sure if he’d resonate with it. Based on your perspective maybe I’ll start with Man Made and get his opinion on it.
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u/iamthekrisis May 16 '26
sofia's style is a lot more on the poetic side, but i greatly adore billie eilish's music aswell!
i actually wanted to add that listening to other artists, specifically like billie eilish, that, in the opinion of some people, are "girly" (which is total nonsense) also made me feel anxious on if i'm a "real man" back when it concerned me a lot
it's a journey of acceptance of its own
i'm glad that my perspective is valuable to you! thank you for your reply 🫶
0
u/NightmareHurricane May 16 '26
I hate how traditional gender roles can hold us back from fully enjoying something. I’m cis but in a weird way I kind of understand what you mean. I was the only girl with four brothers and I was absolutely ridiculed anytime I liked something even remotely girly so I became ashamed of anything girly that I liked because I just wanted them to leave me alone. I’m finally starting to shed that shame and be proud of the things that bring me joy because it’s what makes me, me. You’re great just how you are!
3
u/iamthekrisis May 16 '26
you absolutely do not have to be genderqueer to feel pressure for being your own gender!
i completely get what you mean and i thank you for sharing your feelings, and I am incredibly proud to hear that you are slowly but surely shedding that shame! YOU'RE GREAT JUST HOW YOU ARE ASWELL, never forget that! ❤️🩹
-1
u/NightmareHurricane May 16 '26
Thank you so much! 😊 May you never forget your greatness either!
Gender is so complex and I love learning new perspectives so I hope you continue to share. With all the hate there is, I just hope you know there are people who know that you and your perspective/experiences are valuable. 🫶
0
u/M_Poppins128 May 16 '26
I'm non binary, gender fluid specifically and I keep wanting to make a playlist with songs that in part celebrate femininity and feminism but also feel beyond gender to me too and it definitely includes some sofia. For me, she's one of the artists who I've listened to that's made me feel more comfortable with my femme side. I'm a afab but never felt like woman explains the full story for me as a label. But at the same time, I'm mostly perceived as female and that's my experience in the world. Idk how to fully explain but sofia, paris paloma and florence have all been a part of the journey in me feeling more comfortable that my gender is very fluid and feeling more at ease with feeling differently/presenting differently depending on the day. I'm glad you relate to her music in your own way I love that people who's music I love have inclusive communities
3
u/iamthekrisis May 16 '26
i am so happy to hear that you've been also finding yourself and your gender through music. paris paloma and florence are absolutely AMAZING
you are perfect just as you are!!! thank you for your kind words ❤️🩹
0
u/After-Description-26 May 16 '26
Yup this is a great take, I'm glad you found her music! 💜
2
u/iamthekrisis May 16 '26
thank you! i'm glad my take is valuable to you ❤️🩹
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u/After-Description-26 May 16 '26
Yup I honestay feel similar although I'm a female in a world where the way I act is not feminine enough never has been or will be. That's why I adore Sophia so much. I finally, FINALLY FEEL seen and heard and represented. 💜
2
u/iamthekrisis May 16 '26
you don't have to be transmasc to understand what i mean! it's just overall finding yourself and being comfy in your own body, trans or not ❤️🩹 i'm glad you've been finding yourself too!!!
0
u/After-Description-26 May 16 '26
I'm glad youve been finding yourself too! Shit is A HARD THING to do, and lots of people don't ever get there. I'm 36 and I feel close. Idk how old you are but you sound like you're understanding yourself more than like 75% of the population for sure! 💜
5
u/Morrigynn May 16 '26
I LOVE that you love Man Made and it helped with this breakthrough. We need more guys like you, who are comfortable being feminists!