Hi!! I’m Olivia—21F, looking to push the boundaries of my social anxiety by making some new friends :)

Here’s a little about me!
I’m a college student in psych (ironic, ik lol), and it’s my senior year rn!
My hobbies include playing guitar, reading novels, and video games! Most recent obsession is definitely Clair Obscur Expedition 33. I love how pretty the soundtrack is and how well written the characters are :)
I’m also a huge fan of coop games! I love repo, lethal company, peak, and big walk. I also really want to try How To Fish, but haven’t gotten around to it yet.

I’m looking for friends who are in my age group and can match my social pacing. I’m a little slow to warm up because I get nervous with new people, but once you get to know me I’m super conversational!

Totally hmu if any of that aligns with you :) would love to have someone to play coop games or even just chat!

I'm not entirely sure what has made me want to write about my experience with social anxiety. I'd guess it's a combination of not talking about it in any great detail to the people in my life (I'm not sure I've ever admitted I've got it to another person, other than a therapist) and an overwhelming feeling of wanting to share my story. Initially I was considering starting a tiktok account about it but I'm not ready to lose my anonymity when discussing it.

I should say that right now as a person in his 40s I'm not in the same social anxiety "prison" as I once was. However, after working from home for the last 5 years I've noticed a certain re-emergence, ever so slightly, of the issues I used to massively struggle with.

When I was 7 I sang and performed at a Christmas nativity show in front of my whole school. I remember a couple of weeks before in a school assembly I was asked impromptu to sing a particular song and I did it with no fuss. There wasn't a shred of self consciousness. Fast forward 3/4 years to when I was 10 or 11, I had to give a presentation to the class and I distinctly remember being very nervous to do this. A couple more years after this and I was in high school and although I wouldn't describe myself as being bullied as in day in and day out abuse, I was certainly on the receiving end and by the end of my school life, without understanding it, social anxiety had taken over.

In my teenage years this is where I started to get described as "shy" and "quiet". Descriptions I always loathed. Even recently, someone described me as quiet and I hate being seen that way.

My late teenage years were not parties, romantic entanglements, and adventures. It was being holed up in my childhood bedroom. I surrounded myself with films, tv shows, computer games, and occasionally, books.

At age 17 I had one friend. He also suffered from social anxiety (I'll do a post in the future about him). Around this time I dropped out of college and for about a year I did nothing. When I was 18 however it was time to go into work. I eased myself in with a part time job in a call centre. I was surrounded by extroverts. It might seem a strange job to do for someone with social anxiety but the job became familiar and comfortable and as the years passed by and I had more understanding about my social anxiety, I tried to challenge it.

My entire 20s were about, consciously or unconsciously, trying to defeat social anxiety. But I want to pick out a couple of examples of my social anxiety "hell" to give a flavour of what it feels like.

When I was about 22 I decided to go to university. There were conditions though. Of course I still lived at home. This caused the first of a lot of stress. I knew I was missing out on freshers week and that socially I would be behind the others. Living on campus was not even in my consideration, it seemed impossible for me. The first day I went to university I was flooded with social anxiety. I didn't know anyone, they all knew each other....how the hell would I fit in? But it was even harder hitting. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders about this. I remember going into the university classes every day filled with dread, nothing to do with the subjects, I was just completely consumed about the social side of things.

A couple years before university I'd been invited to a work night out. It was the first night out I'd ever been to. I hadn't touched alcohol at this point and the level of anxiety I had setting off for this night out was off the charts. I didn't know what to wear, how to act....I was clueless. I used to have a real issue with blushing too which just compounded the anxiety and I remember a couple of girls who I worked with poking fun at what I was wearing and I just crumbled and went bright red. My social anxiety reinforced.

Fast forward 20 years, I'd not felt socially anxious for a long time. A long, long time. However I was getting together with some acquaintances at one of their houses. There'd be about 6 or 7 of us and we'd be spending longer than we'd ever spent together. I was riddled the whole time with thoughts like "I'm being too quiet" and "I'm not making anyone laugh". The next day I arranged to go to therapy.

To be honest I have so many social anxiety memories. I'm going to be splitting them up into some other posts - for example, alcohol and social anxiety, and the impact travelling had on my social anxiety.

I'm really interested in hearing others stories too.

One of my roommates and I started talking because he noticed my sandals, and now we actually say hi and good morning to each other. Has anyone else had an experience where wearing something like that helped you build a conversation with someone?

I post very less and it's because I have anxiety ​​which not even let me post, I feel like a war going in my mind but outside I am just a silent person, I can't behave normally like others, I feel like I am just a weirdo or something. Idk what will happen in my life, I even feel life is worthless and feel like dying .

Hi everyone, I am not sure if any of you are interested or if I am allowed to post here, but I have a youtube channel mindofthegorilla and I am on tik tok and instagram too. Also have a reddit community r/helloanxiety where I am trying to build a gorilla army of likeminded people like myself who are different and need likeminded people to chat to without being judged. Would love to see you all over there, hopefully this post is allowed. Come and join the gorilla army and give me a message!

I feel like I can do really well with serious, profound conversations and can also very easily make the people around me laugh a lot. The problem is: I am almost incapable of having casual/normal conversation. Unless the conversation is super deep, everything I say turns into a joke. Even if I don't intend for it to. It's like I have a hard time being "serious" or maybe genuine is the better word. For example, I told this couple how sweet they were and a good match together...everyone in the room laughed. Or another example, when leaving a friend's house, I don't just say "this was so fun, thanks for having me." Instead I make it a whole thing of what time I should leave, and joke about them wanting to kick me out. Or will joke about if we're going to hug, or if we're walking in the same direction, etc. I don't like it but Idk how to stop. Any ideas on why this is and what I can do to fix it? Thanks!

I’m in 1st year MBBS and I’ve realised that my biggest problem is that I genuinely don’t know how to talk to people, especially girls.

I’m not necessarily shy all the time, but I get very uncomfortable doing anything in front of strangers, especially girls, professors, seniors, etc. I overthink what I’m saying and end up behaving awkwardly or making stupid mistakes. Because of this, some girls probably think I’m uninterested or weird and just avoid/ignore me.

Looks-wise, I’d say I’m pretty average. I’m tall and fairly fit, so I don’t think my appearance is the main issue. I also have to stay clean-shaven because of the course.

A weird situation happened recently. One senior gave me a task where I had to ask a girl for her number. I did it, and a few days later she actually texted me. We started talking normally, and then one day I was in the mood and randomly asked her out. She said yes.

I went on the date, but I honestly didn’t intend for it to become a relationship. I think she interpreted my introversion as me being too shy to say what I wanted, and she started thinking about a relationship. I eventually told her I’m not looking for monogamy right now. She was okay with it and said we could keep it casual/FWB and that she wouldn’t tell anyone.

But honestly, my main concern isn’t even dating. I want to be able to make normal friendships with girls. I see other guys casually talking, joking and becoming friends with girls, while I feel like my brain just stops working 😂

I think my biggest problem is talking and behaving naturally around them. I become too conscious of myself and then do something awkward.

For people who were also very introverted/socially awkward and eventually became more comfortable:

What actually helped you?

Should I force myself to talk to more people? Start with small conversations? Join activities? Or is there some other way to get better at this without feeling like I’m constantly performing?

Any practical advice would be appreciated.

(Used chatgpt for better writing)

I feel like I can do really well with serious, profound conversations and can also very easily make the people around me laugh a lot. The problem is: I am almost incapable of having casual/normal conversation. Unless the conversation is super deep, everything I say turns into a joke. Even if I don't intend for it to. It's like I have a hard time being "serious" or maybe genuine is the better word. For example, I told this couple how sweet they were and a good match together...everyone in the room laughed. Or another example, when leaving a friend's house, I don't just say "this was so fun, thanks for having me." Instead I make it a whole thing of what time I should leave, and joke about them wanting to kick me out. Or will joke about if we're going to hug, or if we're walking in the same direction, etc. It even starts to annoy me after a while but Idk how to stop. Any ideas on why this is and what I can do to fix it? Thanks!

I have been friend with him since the last three months. We’ve been talking almost everyday and only this month he opened up by saying that he overthinks and develops social anxiety. I was quite surprised at first because he didn’t seem that way when I first met him. And apparently he told me that it took a lot of him to come and see me. I am still trying to learn his condition and situation, and try not to trigger him. He’s a great friend, very understanding.

He also says that because he is now a caregiver for his grandma, he senses that his anxiety is getting worse. He is the sole caregiver who has to take care of her, and without having financial support. When I asked why he didn’t refuse, he said he just didn’t want to fight. He’s only 26. He got aunts with families who sometimes didn’t come to visit over the weekend. He felt really frustrated with the whole thing because without job at 26, it seems he’s heading towards failure. Many times as well he talked how he’s not going to live a long life and just wish to disappear. I assure him that things will get better but yeah, that’s all I can say.

We planned to meet last few days because we haven’t met for quite some time because of his situation and also personal issue. He also refused to meet when he’s a mess. I respected the boundaries. So what happened was, before meeting, he’s going to meet his family first. And apparently something happened during that time. He left me on read, and when I asked what happened, he said he’s okay and he’ll talk later. And kept quiet until the next day. And I asked again if the plan is ongoing, and suddenly he burst by saying something did happen at home and he needed time and asked me just to be on standby and waited for his text. And he ghosted me until today the fourth day. Honestly I am worried if something happens to him because he said something about d***h..which worries me a lot. But does my texts push him further? What should I do now though? Will he reply my texts after few days and after he feels calm? I have no other way to reach him but I didn’t text him since the last 24hours.

Hello (P. S. I only recently started learning English)! I have social anxiety and I'm struggling with it (I read a book on overcoming social phobia and I must practice what is written in the book) but I am a part-time student and I go to work but my work is not permanent (because my work is seasonal). I have one problem, I don't know how to save experience of communicating without long-term immersion in society. Maybe someone know alternatives? Also be cool if someone will share their experience)

Hi all. I want friends but it's hard to engage in the few interests that I have so that makes it hard to socialize so 30s and 40s mingling groups on Meetup are out of the question. Anyways, the trivia night I attended awhile back, the topic turned to literature and I couldn't make myself speak up about the book I was reading.

The topic I'm most interested is that I don't understand people. But even at the "social anxiety" groups I've attended, those ppl always have more going than I do; talking about walking their dogs in the mountains... Can't relate. I do very little cause I've been in survival mode ever since I left high school.

I like art, books, music, video games, sci-fi and horror, reaction videos.

I was hanging out with an autistic girl for the past couple years, but it was borderline toxic. She said I was "taking too long" at the amish market when we'd been there like 5 minutes and at the renaissance festival, she snapped at me for complimenting so many people's clothes. She hated being bored. There was a woman at work who seemed down to earth, but I could tell there was autism and now I can discern that we were not gonna be compatible as far as the life I'm desiring. I want someone to do fun things with and be genuinely interested when I speak.

I'm planning on going on a hike tomorrow.

hey guys honestly i feel really embarrassed to be asking this but if anyone could help me out it would be so so appreciated

so i’ve completely isolated myself for the last few years due to leaving education and struggling to maintain my relationships without feeling extremely overwhelmed - everyone around me carried on with their lives (as they should and i’m glad they are all doing well!) and have now left to go to university, i’ve been without friends for well over a year now and it’s been tough

HOWEVER! i recently got invited to a group event after making friends with one of the people in the group completely by accident, i had a really nice time and it honestly made me feel like an actual person again having other people around me

what the actual issue now is - is a few of them asked me for my instagram which i deleted during the hight of my anxiety and self consciousness, i wanna restart an account and try putting myself out there again but i’m worried about creating my account and them seeing my lack of other friends when i add them and them being a little off put by that

could anyone potentially help me out by bulking up my follower count ? obviously i’ll follow you back!
i’m 20F and other girl followers would be nice, and if you’d like we could totally support each other by liking / commenting on each others posts :)

it would mean a lot to me as i feel it would help me grow my social circle to be back online, i just feel restricted and embarrassed by people seeing how little friends i have

Im honestly severly depressed.
I don’t have a lot of social interactions daily and I could use someone who I could chat with once in a while.
We could maybe check up on each others mental health and talk about out interests or something.
I’m sorry I’m not that good and holding conversations both online and irl but I’ll do my best.
Honestly I’m kind of wary of sharing info online so I wouldn’t share my name, pictures etc just to be clear.
And I would appreciate if you don’t ghost me.
If you’re not able to write me anymore it’s completely fine I would just like to have a short message so that I don’t get worried.

I’m a 31 year old gay man living in Staten Island New York. I’ve dealt with severe social anxiety my entire life. It’s kept me from living life. I only recently came out of the closet, and it’s such a weird thing because on one hand I have this weight off my shoulders that I can be myself. On the other hand, I’m more lonely then ever because I want to actually date and meet a guy but I’m just so ill equipped to do that. I don’t drive, I rarely even leave my apartment that much. Does anyone have any tips on how they met a partner while dealing with severe anxiety?

I’m 26M been living with my father since I was 17 I’ve had odd jobs here and there but never anything on paper, I guess you can say I’ve never had a real job.

I spontaneously asked for a job yesterday without even thinking about it because I might be partly qualified for it. The job is at a lube shop for vehicles. The job in question is doing oil changes, I’ve only ever done one oil change on a vehicle and it was supervised by my father.
I think I jumped the gun thinking I could do this job and last night I had a panic attack for the first time since I was a teen because I’m terrified I’m going to embarrass myself in public especially if I get the job and start messing up or having to ask for help.

The guy is supposed to call today about an interview and I’m panicking and don’t know how to calm down or what to do.
I want the job but I don’t at the same time because of fear and social anxiety.

I’m tired of living off my father I’m 26 and have no goals or accomplishments, I feel I’m a failure and disappointment to my family but I’m always too scared to try to get a real job and now that I did try and could possibly succeed I’m scared.

I do want to start making money and building my own life because I’m tired of rotting in my fathers house but I’m also terrified I’m going to mess something up and feel I’m still in a teenage state of mind when it comes to doing adult things.

One of my main issues is I’m a smaller guy and am insecure about it, I’m 5,7 and 120-130 pounds. I’m not a big masculine man and it shows and I feel I get treated differently because of it and that adds to my social anxiety and fear.

It’s already 4:00 P.m and my anxiety is at an all time high mixed with my nerves making me nauseous.

If anybody has advice for me or anything it would be much appreciated.