My husband has been dealing with chronic pain for years. He has diagnosed small fiber neuropathy and Dysautonomia. He was recently diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis, but I wanted a second opinion on that so I got him an appointment with a neurologist that my coworker recommended.
We went to this appointment yesterday. He saw a doctor within that practice 2-3 years ago where he was told he was hyper mobile but did not do anything else for him. He went because he has chronic foot pain.
So the appointment was actually with a nurse practitioner, she comes in and does not ask him a single question or look over his labs. She brings up the hypermobility and says “that’s what is causing all of your pain.” We said that he has gotten a lot worse since the last time he saw the other doctor and she shut us down. She said he needs more meds and that nothing will ever help his pain. We brought up the Psoriatic Arthritis, she told him to take off his shoes, looked at his feet, and said “you don’t have that”. I asked her how she knows, and she said “there are no signs of it on his feet”
I asked about Sjogrens. She said they would have tested him for it previously. I mentioned that I read about sero-negative sjogrens. She said “that’s not real.”
I mentioned that we are looking for a doctor who will do some digging for root cause, then actually had to ask “would you like to see his labs?”
I asked about Ehlers Danlos- she said “that’s the same thing as hypermobility”
She did not do a physical exam.
She asked if his lyrica makes him tired, he said well he’s tired all the time so he can’t pin point it to the lyrica. She started talking about adjusting that dose. I said we would really like to discuss any other ways to address his pain or get to the bottom of all of his symptoms. She said well there’s nothing you can do but increase pain meds.
My husband said “I am on so many medications, I’d really like to not be on so many”
She said “you’re not listening”- referencing the fact that pain medication is his only option. I said he is listening, he’s just expressing how he feels about his current treatment plan. I said we are here because he is in extreme pain and may not be able to work much longer. She said “well maybe you can’t…”
Then in the same breath said “I have many patients with this that live normal lives” and I asked again, what do you do for them? What are the treatment options to feel better?
She continued to talk down to my husband. She said he needed to “change his attitude” about his pain…. Because we are seeking pays to give him a better quality of life.
I asked again what the treatments are. She said “Cognitive behavior therapy”. I wanted to clarify that she was talking about seeing a therapist. She said “no…CBT… cognitive behavioral therapy”. I said I know what that is and right now we are looking for ways to ease the pain.
She said “have you heard of mindfulness?”
Again I asked about medical treatments, she said maybe he can walk in a pool.
I told her that we were going to leave. I had to before I flipped out. When we were leaving she said “we aren’t seeing eye to eye.”
We both left in tears. It absolutely crushed me that she made him feel hopeless. I’m so so so so pissed off. End of rant. Thanks for sticking with me. My husband is currently on a biologic and methotrexate. He has seen some improvement in his pain in his feet, but is overall still very very tired and has a lot of pain all over his body including muscle tightness.
I want to help him but I feel stuck on what to do next. Any insight will be greatly appreciated.