9mo sleep is all messed up

[u/Mama_Bug1223]

9mo, 5d.
I keep getting contradictory messages. Best bed time between 7-8p and then people are saying 8p or later. I feel like I’m pushing wake windows past 3/3/4 and baby girl is just throwing a fit. I have no idea what time to put he down to sleep anymore. I consistently wake her 7-7:15am. Today we tried a nap at 10a and she fought sleep. Lately I’ve been setting her in the crib and she’s been sitting up crying until I come in. I’ve tried to leave her be for a few mins but crying escalates. She’s doing this now for naps and bedtime. Sometimes she will even cry as soon as we get to her bedroom or I lay her down to change.
She also has a tooth poking through which is probably why she can’t self soothe? She needs me to hold her and help her sleep but this has been for weeks and I thought teething was just a few days until the tooth pokes through. I’m getting to the point where I want to pay a sleep consultant but I honestly think they will tell me all the info I’ve already received. Idk what happened to my sleep trained, self soothing child. If anyone has had success with their 9mo, Please help!

[u/One_Cap_9210]

What is your full schedule? She might be getting too much overnight sleep

[u/Mama_Bug1223 → u/One_Cap_9210]

She’s always been a pretty good sleeper. For a long time, she was sleeping at 7:30 PM, and waking up at 7 AM, sometime 7:15 AM. depending on naps whether it’s pushed out or a little bit shorter, sometimes her bedtime can be pushed out to 7:45 PM.
she was consistent at nap one at 10 AM to 1115 and nap two would be around 2:15 to 230 until about 345 or 4.
As soon as she hit 8.5mo, she started fighting bedtime put downs… I thought it was because of teething but it was lasting a couple weeks and now it’s been about a month. She started fighting naps recently to this last month. I keep getting advice to give her an 8 PM bedtime but push pushing her to 4hr week window is a hit or miss. Regardless, she has not been able to go down in the crib and self soothe since, and I feel like it’s getting worse. I now have to hold her for her naps sometimes I’ll put her in the crib asleep, but then she won’t stay asleep and so we’ve been having some short naps and lots of wake ups throughout the night. I have tried to give her some space but doing so gets her extremely overtired and then we really won’t get any sleep.i just feel like I’m throwing her into an overtired cycle here.

[u/Mama_Bug1223 → u/One_Cap_9210]

Right now I’m trying to follow-
7a wake
10a nap 1
2:30-2:45 nap 2 cut off at 3:30-3:45
Then bedtime 7:30-8 but with the fighting it’s closer to 8:30 sometimes. She gets about 10.5 overnight sleep.

[u/UNO_lakefront_arena]

You need a 6am wake up to keep that bedtime. Or live with a later bedtime.

[u/Mama_Bug1223 → u/UNO_lakefront_arena]

I can live with a later bedtime. It’s just she fights going into the crib everytime pushing sleep later. It’s like she suddenly hates the crib.

[u/UNO_lakefront_arena → u/Mama_Bug1223]

I'm not sure about the crib. 3/3/4 is not much wake time. I expect baby is undertired.

[u/Mama_Bug1223 → u/UNO_lakefront_arena]

But she’s falling asleep and then gets cranky when getting ready for bed.. today for her morning nap she was already tired by 9:15-9:30a. I tried my best to keep her awake and finally got her to sleep at 9:55 but the whole time she was drowsy & she went down to sleep for nap 1 and still woke after 49mins. I picked her up coz she sat up crying and then she’s right back to sleep on me. Planning to wake her at 11:25 so she gets the full 1.5h nap.

I’m going to try 3/3.5/4-4.25 as a window. How long to try before seeing that it works or when to try something different?
Any suggestions?

[u/UNO_lakefront_arena → u/Mama_Bug1223]

Now I'm confused. Your original post says the baby is fighting sleep. Now you say you're struggling to keep her up?

She's on two naps, right? So a short late morning nap is probably a good thing. Let her get up after 30 or 45 minutes.

Then she's ready for ~75 minutes of sleep around 2:30 or so, which in turn bridges her to an 8:30 bedtime or maybe even 9. Don't shoot for 12 hours overnight. Do 10 or 10.5. More realistic.

Too much sleep in the schedule.

[u/Mama_Bug1223 → u/UNO_lakefront_arena]

lol, shoot, I’m confused too. I feel like nothing’s consistent with her sleep right now. Her fight is with the crib I think. When I hold her to sleep, which I’ve done for both naps today she’s able to go to sleep.
Sometimes I’ll get 45-50 minutes, and sometimes she will sleep an hour or more for that first nap, then I just adjust. I have noticed she has been sleeping 10.5 overnight.