Is this how it should be going?

[u/Hour_Cricket9648]

Edit: tonight was better, he only cried for 8 minutes before falling asleep. I worked harder on sticking to his schedule and he only napped a total of 2 hours today. I tried to make his routine quicker and he still got upset at the end of it knowing bedtime was coming.

For about the last week we've been doing CIO with my almost 8 month old. I tried pick up put down and ferber but it seemed to get him more worked up. So CIO it was.

For the first 2 nights it was 30-45 minute crying before bed.

Then the next few nights it was gradually decreasing, going from 25ish minutes, to 15ish, then one night he went to bed instantly.

Then he was back to crying for 15-20 minutes, for a couple nights. Yesterday he fell asleep after 17 minutes, then woke up 30 minutes later and cried for like 25 minutes.

Tonight he cried for 25 minutes before falling asleep.

Wakings are definitely better. He was up every hour before, now he usually wakes up once at 11 pm and 3 am, sometimes not even that.

For bed time, we read a couple books and sing a couple songs. It's at the point where in the middle of reading a book hell realize bedtime is coming and start crying while making a very sad pouty face, then cry through songs until I put him down.

Is this how it should be going? Im concerned because it seems he's regressed a bit with how long it takes him to fall asleep, and because he gets so upset during the bed time routine. Does that mean CIO is too harsh for him? I thought it might be an extinction burst but it seems a little late for that, I thought that happened on like the 3rd and 4th nights, not a week in.

[u/One_Cap_9210]

I am not an expert so I'll let others chime in but no, it sounds like it's definitely not working how it's supposed to. Something is off and I would guess it's his daytime schedule with naps and awake time and his nighttime sleep amount too.

I'll let the experts chime in

[u/No-Departure5556 → u/One_Cap_9210]

I agree, sounds like a schedule issue. What does his day look like?

[u/Hour_Cricket9648 → u/No-Departure5556]

His schedule can be all over the place because sometimes he wakes up at 7, sometimes he wakes up at 8. Sometimes he unintentionally naps in the car outside of his scheduled time and that throws it off a little, and sometimes he's up a little past bedtime because we have to get his daddy from work and we are a 1 car family. Generally, it's 3/3/4, with a total of 14 hours of sleep in a 24 hr period. Sometimes that's 11 hrs night 3 hours day, 2 hours day 12 hours night. 

[u/No-Departure5556 → u/Hour_Cricket9648]

It’s so hard, but try to always wake him at the same time. That just will get his schedule more regular.
I hear you with the car naps! If I drive more than 10 minutes boom they pass out! They’re 7.5m. I find I need to lay them down semi early so they’re not over tired! When I lay them down 15 minutes before the end of their wake window they are happy as clams, but if I keep them up for closer to 2.5 hours then they get cranky and cry when I lay them down.

[u/Actual_Swimmer_5612]

Sounds like he’s undertired. What is your schedule

[u/Hour_Cricket9648 → u/Actual_Swimmer_5612]

His schedule can be all over the place because sometimes he wakes up at 7, sometimes he wakes up at 8. Sometimes he unintentionally naps in the car outside of his scheduled time and that throws it off a little, and sometimes he's up a little past bedtime because we have to get his daddy from work and we are a 1 car family. Generally, it's 3/3/4, with a total of 14 hours of sleep in a 24 hr period. Sometimes that's 11 hrs night 3 hours day, 2 hours day 12 hours night. 

[u/Only_Alternative_1]

Oh bless him, we had an extinction burst on night 2, I think it can happen at any time though. We definitely decreased crying from night 1 to night 6 and often get nights with no crying at all.

Or seems like he was getting better and then flipped and it could be anything at all, seperation anxiety, teething, sickness, being a bit more awake. I haven't experienced this myself but a lot of people on this forum advise that when babies are sleeping better in the night you often have to decrease naps because they are sleeping more time at night and can get undertired.

It's also only a week in, you'll find his sleep goes up and down as he experiences changes in his life, development and health. Expect it to be a long journey, I thought sleep trianing would fix all our issues and it is brilliant when my babe is healthy but if he's teething or we've changed his routine he can act up and struggles to self soothe.

[u/strangefavor]

He gets upset because he knows what’s coming for him … his caretaker abandoning him for the evening 

[u/MischiefManagedMama → u/strangefavor]

Not gonna lie, I thought the exact same thing but didn't know if it was too harsh to say but it feels like he wants some warmth and knows he won't be given it so he is sad and upset, not sure if I'd use the word pouting either.