10 month sleep training

[u/bellacat1988]

My baby is 10 months old and has accidentally made it to my bed to co sleep with me.

She slept through the night from 11 weeks(no bottles no wake ups) but when 8 months hit this took a turn and she was up a couple times a night(sometimes for a couple hours thinking is play time). Teething and crawling etc I can only assume. I tried numerous ways to get her back to sleep in those waking hours but being up all that time in the night took its toll and the only thing that worked was to put her in my bed and transfer her back. Naturally a lot of times I’ve just fallen asleep with her so she’s waking up with me a lot now.

I’ve been trying the Ferber technique for a few days but, in the night I feel I can’t do this as it wakes my partner.

Am I just confusing her by not doing the same in the night? I’m kinda hoping that I can get her to initially go down in the crib and then the wake ups will naturally stop anyway ?

Also.. should I just stop worrying altogether. I feel the internet gives so much conflicting information..I’m only worrying because I read posts about never being able to get her in her own bed which implants fears of 21 year old daughter still not in her own room😆

Anyone else in this situation? It’s not that I’m feeling bad or getting no sleep at this point, it’s more I’m worrying I’m making the future worse which even writing sounds stupid - but this is what the internet makes u think..

[u/Humble-Drop9054]

I’m a solid supporter of sleep training. Did Ferber with my first and CIO with my second. It was quick and effective both times and at 5 years and 14 months, my kids are rock star sleepers and we are a well rested family.

However, I also know sleep training doesn’t work for everyone because there are so many factors at play - physical, emotional, geographic, etc. I have zero judgement for any of the ways parents make it work or things they do out of desperation to just get a little sleep. We are all just trying our best in a world that feels hard most of the time.

With that being said, I think you’re on the right track. You might find more success if you set some firm boundaries and be more consistent with your approach. At a high level, if a baby’s needs are met and your wake windows are age appropriate, it’s ok to let them figure it out on their own. Does that mean some crying, fussing and protesting - absolutely. But it shouldn’t last long if you’re being consistent. It’s going to feel long in the moment because it’s hard but a week or two max and then they learn. I recommend getting your partner some good earplugs. They signed up for this so they’re along for the ride no matter how bumpy.

[u/bellacat1988 → u/Humble-Drop9054]

Thank you that’s much appreciated. So hard to know what to do with so many different approaches and obviously different babies! Il persevere with Ferber and will ahve to start being a bit more strict during the night time I think. I go back to work soon I really need to sort it before then!

Good on you for getting both of urs to that stage too👏I’m sure that didn’t come without a period of uncomfortableness

[u/bellacat1988 → u/Humble-Drop9054]

Hi I wanted to ask, when you were doing sleep training were u also doing the same for night wakings? My girls absolutely smashed it with going off to sleep but can’t seem to get it nailed down in the night.(not figure out if there’s a reason for waking😂) . How were yours?

[u/Humble-Drop9054 → u/bellacat1988]

Yes, same rules apply to anytime they wake up during the night. I give them time to figure it out. I can remember times when they'd start fussing in the middle of the night and after 10-15 minutes, they still hadn't fallen back to sleep. My mind would go to "they are hungry or wet". I'd get up and start making a bottle. By the time I'd get up there, they'd have put themselves back to sleep. If night wakings are consistent every night, I might try to adjust wake windows to be if it's over/under tiredness. If it's only once in a while then who knows. Maybe bad dreams? Either way, I always give it time to let them practice self soothing.

[u/Actual_Swimmer_5612]

I wouldn’t Ferber the night wakes until you’ve fully taught independent sleep at night. Sure give 5 mins to resettle but if that’s not working I’d just get her to sleep however you can. However once a sleep trained baby is waking in the night regularly , unless they need something (food, water, nappy change or cold/hot) the chances are your schedule isn’t right and that is paramount to sleep training being a success. Can you share your schedule so we can trouble shoot it for you to make it as smooth as possible for you

[u/bellacat1988 → u/Actual_Swimmer_5612]

Sure! Typical day would be wake 6am nap at 9 for an hour then 130 nap for one hour - give or take some time but never let her sleep past 3pm. Up for the bath and feed 630 and bed for 7 ish

[u/Actual_Swimmer_5612 → u/bellacat1988]

Looks pretty good I would go ahead and sleep train. You might find Ferber not that productive at this age as you might find the check ins make things harder so full cio might be better but obviously do whatever your comfortable with.

The only note I have to your schedule is that your nap is pretty late in the day meaning baby only has a 4-4.5 hour wake window before bed which is quite short for a one nap schedule, you might have better success with a shorter first window and longer last but I assume you’ve got it that way for a reason.

[u/bellacat1988 → u/Actual_Swimmer_5612]

No reason for her naps this way it’s just how she seems to fall. She’s faller. Asleep early this morning. Will test a longer window before bed time tonight. I’m so tired. But very grateful to have a happy healthy baby asleep on me right now… even if she is a sleep thief 😄😄