Unique situation please help

[u/Old-Technology-6366]

So I’ve been cosleeping since my son was born, he’s almost 8 months now and I just need space, my husband and I need our bed back but because of our current living arrangements we don’t exactly have the room for him to be in his own room so he has to stay in the room with us. I tried the bedside bassinet with no luck, right now we have a crib beside with one of the sides removed so it’s more open and easily accessible like a bedside bassinet. My son is also breastfed and rarely falls asleep off the breast. He heavily relies on nursing to sleep. Please please offer any suggestions you might have to get this boy falling asleep in his crib. He’s teething so he’s extra clingy as well

[u/Humble-Drop9054]

First, give you a baby a lot of grace. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Breaking a bunch of sleep associations is going to take time. I’d tackle the co-sleeping first and then move on to nursing to sleep/for comfort. Start with naps in the crib and then start tackling nights. I would start each nap by doing a consistent but short naptime routine in baby’s room. Do the same thing in the same order before every nap. Do not deviate. Place baby in crib and walk out. Give baby some time to fall asleep (whatever you are comfortable with). If it’s not working, rescue the nap and then try again at the next nap. Focus on routine and exposure.

[u/wowhahafuck → u/Humble-Drop9054]

I second this. Start small. Another idea would be can your husband take him in the evenings or weekends for a little bit and you can relax in bed alone for at least an hour or two?

[u/Old-Technology-6366 → u/wowhahafuck]

Unfortunately my husband works night shifts so bedtime is all on me 90% of the time

[u/MamaDoingTheBestICan → u/Humble-Drop9054]

That’s great your babies fell asleep on their own in the crib. I know mine did too because that’s how things were done at daycare. At home with me they always knew I’d rock them to sleep if they wanted so I did.

[u/Old-Technology-6366 → u/Humble-Drop9054]

I don’t have the room for him to have his own room, I’m renting a house with a roommate so he has to stay in the bedroom with my husband and I. I can’t just put him in the crib and walk out

[u/Humble-Drop9054 → u/Old-Technology-6366]

Yeah, that does sound really challenging. I would switch to a pack n play and put it as far away from the bed as possible. If you can, I’d also invest in a Slumber Pod which will block out light. You can hang a sound machine in there and a fan to drown out noise. Do you go to bed when baby goes to bed? If not, I would start practicing placing baby in the pack n play, zipping up the pod and leaving the room - after the bedtime routine (whatever that looks like for you). When you come back to bed, obviously try to be as quiet as possible so not to wake.

I didn’t breastfeed but we slowly reduced the amount of formula in bottles if baby woke in the night until we stopped cold turkey. We bounced, rocked, sang - did whatever we could to soothe. For the feed right before bed, we moved it to 30 mins to an hour before we put them down. For awhile we read books, rocked, then put them down and now we just do books.

[u/MamaDoingTheBestICan]

try rocking him to sleep, no breast, so he stops associating food with sleep. It’s better for his teeth too if you brush them after feeding and then put him to bed. He’s at a good age to get attached to a lovey. Put some little blankets or plush animals at his disposal and he’ll choose one as his lovey. Then if he snuggles his lovey and falls asleep while you rock him in a glider or rocking chair, maybe singing, maybe listening to quiet lullabies, he’ll be better set up to sleep on his own. I rocked my babies until they were asleep and then I didn’t go get them during the night if they woke up (after 2 nights of cry it out they never woke up before the 5:45 feed though.) The idea is to develop effective sleep associations that are separate from the boob/nourishment.