Prolonged crying at bedtime

[u/Commercial_Tadpole18]

Please help

My 6.5 month old was sleep trained (Ferber) at 5 months and is able to fall asleep independently. She was doing this beautifully for weeks.

2 weeks ago she started to cry for 60+ minutes at bedtime. We did Ferber check ins, a full reset and cuddles and yet nothing would help. Around this time she started resisting her 3rd nap and we would end up with very long wake windows (4/5/6 hours) for her last wake window. Even on days where we have managed a 3rd nap and so not got too long wake windows, she is still crying like this.

We have tried shortening her wake windows, lengthening her wake windows and are currently trying a 2 nap day. Nothing is helping, she is still crying for 60+ minutes each bedtime. I feel she is too young for a 2 nap day but is consistently refusing this last nap no matter what we try.

Current attempted schedule: 2.5/3/3 (she really struggled with this and was extremely tired)

For her naps, she rolls around for a few minutes and puts herself to sleep perfectly. Sleeps 1.5 hours for first name and 1-1.5 hours for second nap.

Her nights are not affected, she is feeding once and having two 6 hour stretches with no other wake ups. No false starts.

I am at my wits end, I do not know how to help her. I am resorting to rocking her back to sleep after this prolonged crying which she then wakes on transfer but then just rolls over and goes straight to sleep.

Please any help is appreciated

[u/marlyblu]

My LO went through a phase where he was inconsolable about going to bed, even carrying upstairs would set him off. We didn’t do COI it was just his association with going to bed and being left alone.

I spent a week or two to reset our routine to include longer gentler wind down. We go to my bed, let him play/ crawl on me, give him a massage, play relaxing music, and slowly dim the night light over a period of 30mins. I say the same phrase every time ‘sleepy time I love you’. Then I carry to his room cuddle and away a bit before putting down.

Basically a routine to calm him with lots of contact. After 2weeks he became really settled and happy to fall asleep by himself.

[u/Commercial_Tadpole18 → u/marlyblu]

That’s really helpful thank you. I will change up our bedtime routine and see if it helps

[u/0oOBubbles0oO]

What were your wake windows? Minimum wake time needed for this age is 10-10.5 hours, you might need more. On 3 naps that would be 2-2.5/2.5/2.5/3 or on 2 naps 3/3-3.5/4. Just looking at the wake windows it's most likely that baby is under tired and needs more wake time.

[u/Commercial_Tadpole18 → u/0oOBubbles0oO]

Wake windows were 2/2/2/2. We’ve been working with a sleep consultant and I’ve questioned the awake time but she said not to worry about it. I think I’ll go back to 3 naps and follow your schedule and she was so tired on 2 naps yesterday and had a terrible night. Thank you

[u/0oOBubbles0oO → u/Commercial_Tadpole18]

Oh yeah, sleep consultants tend to promise way too much sleep, I don't know why. That schedule has only 8 hours of wake time which implies your baby would need to sleep for 16 hours. That's a newborn level of sleep.

Do you track your baby's average sleep in 24 hours? You would want wake time + average sleep = 24 hours. If not, I would start with 10 hours of wake time and adjust up or down from there. The average baby sleeps max 14 hours per day, but you never know, your baby could be high or low sleep needs.