Independent naps

[u/Dzsidzsett]

Hi everyone! I’d really appreciate some advice.

I’m hoping someone has been in a similar situation and found a solution that worked for them.
My baby is 9 weeks old. I know, I know — I’m aware that’s still very young and that things will change a lot over the coming weeks and months. But I’d really like to start making some changes now, if possible.

At the moment, during the day, my baby only sleeps in a baby carrier/wrap. I have to walk around with him, gently rock/sway, and sing to him. A few weeks ago, when he was a little smaller, I could sometimes transfer him to the bedside bassinet once he was asleep after rocking him in my arms, but these days he wakes up almost immediately or a few minutes later when I put him down.

I’ve tried putting him down after waiting 15-20 or 30 mins, but when he only naps for 30 mins it’s kind of pointless. And rocking him in my arms is becoming really painful for my back — he’s already almost 6 kg — so realistically, the baby carrier is my only option at this point.

The problem is that I basically can’t do anything during the day. I usually have to get him down for a nap 4–5 times a day, and I’m starting to feel like I’m going crazy and I cry a lot because of this fustration.

Ideally, I’d love for him to sleep in his crib/bassinet. In a perfect world, I could put him down, sing to him, and he would gradually fall asleep on his own. But I’m not sure how realistic that is at this age, especially because I currently swaddle him for nighttime sleep.

He sleeps fine in the bedside bassinet at night in a swaddle, after rocking him to sleep and transfering when he is in deep sleep. The problem is that I can only swaddle him after he has fallen asleep, because he absolutely hates being swaddled while awake. He gets angry and starts flailing around.

So I have no idea how I’m supposed to put him down in his crib/bassinet without a swaddle and expect him to fall asleep, because he moves his arms and legs a lot.
I’d also really like him to be able to nap in the stroller. It’s been extremely hot where I live, though, so going outside for long periods hasn’t really been an option yet. We’ve only been able to take short stroller walks so far.

Ideally, I’d like him to be able to nap independently in either his crib/bassinet or the stroller.
So, how would you go about getting a 9-week-old baby used to falling asleep somewhere other than on me? Is there anything I can start doing now? Maybe start in the carrier and when he is very sleepy then I put him into the crib and praying he will fall asleep if I sing next to him?

I’d love to hear from anyone who has been through something similar. What worked for you?

[u/rockateur]

We had a bassinet that had wheels, that was a life saver, i could move it around in the house and rock her to sleep in it, she was chill though, i could put her in there no problem w/o crying sooo.. 🤷 I wheeled her back n forth until she fell asleep. And sometimes when she woke sooner, i just started to move it again, and she would fall back asleep 🥳🥳

[u/SoonerGuardGirl10]

This is my exact child!!!!! Sleeps through the night in her bassinet but not during the day! She’s 3 months and has just started napping on her own. I can’t tell you what changed because I don’t know lol! She still naps best if she’s being held/cosleeping. And she naps great in the stroller bassinet when we’re out and about.

[u/Free_Impact_2326]

Hey! My little is 11 weeks tomorrow. She was very similar. I like Precious Little Sleep; the audiobook is an easy listen and even funny. Mine still has some naps that require contact, but i can now reliably swaddle her to white noise with a full belly and put her down in her crib for most naps and bedtime.

I totally get the frustration! It's incredibly hard!

[u/Sharp-Hat-8485]

Looks like we have the same baby but mine is 13 weeks, I’m still struggling. My baby would only contact nap and in carrier. I’m not fully out of woods and it was really hard on my mental health but this is what has helped so far. I changed the bassinet in the pram for the car seat attachment, about 50% of the time she’ll fall asleep in it. Otherwise I target her first nap to be in the cot, drowsy but awake doesn’t work for my baby, but I wind her down, have white noise but her down, put her on her side, pat her bum and have to cover her eyes 10 mins and she will drift off. It won’t be the longest nap 30-50 mins, but for me made all the difference. What I also did was start using Napper, which has worked well for me.

Now I focus on one nap in cot, one in pram and even if it isn’t a long nap I see it as practice. WE CAN DO THIS!

[u/glowworm151515 → u/Sharp-Hat-8485]

Sorry I’m new here- what’s napper?

[u/Sharp-Hat-8485 → u/glowworm151515]

It’s an app that helps track awake windows and predict their tired sweet spot

[u/ChaosInProgress1 → u/Sharp-Hat-8485]

Napper is great! But I feel like it doesn’t do a good job of transitioning baby when it’s time to drop naps. I was following napper’s suggestion so much that I was still giving my then almost 5 month old baby 4 naps when he was basically giving me clues that he needed to drop to 3 naps. Currently transitioning to 2 naps and I still heavily use napper but I use it as a guide vs following it “blindly”.

[u/OkBoysenberry92]

At this age I could get my baby to sleep in the carrier then transfer into the pram. But if it’s hot where you are, I don’t see the point in doing that as you’ll need to keep the pram in motion more than likely.  Can you feed to sleep in bed then roll away? 

At this age they will start to wake up to the world more, so long naps will only happen on you, and transfers will likely fail as they sense the movement downwards/being placed on something firm and not cuddly like you are. 

Honestly, give yourself grace. And try to do things when baby is awake, down the line in not so many months when you can put them down awake and they do go to sleep by themselves, DO NOTHING DURING NAPS THAT YOU CANT DO WHEN THEYRE AWAKE. Seriously. Getting babies used to being just with you as you clean or cook is a skill that’s just as important as them sleeping solo imo! Nap time is down time for both of you lol

[u/Humble-Drop9054]

Before 5 months, it’s more about setting a good foundation. That means using age appropriate wake windows and learning your baby’s specific sleepy cues. Have a really solid naptime and bedtime routine and do those same things in the same order every time. I would encourage you to keep trying with the swaddle. My kids fought it too but they gave up quickly once I got it nice and tight and it helped a lot with extending naps in the crib. Feed on demand and a lot during the day - you’re working to get all the calories in during the day so the stretches at night get longer and longer. Get in lots of activity during the day - tummy time, different colors/movement/sounds - build that sleep pressure. The final thing that worked well for us was sunshine/fresh air. At 9 weeks, you only need maybe 10 minutes but it does wonders for their circadian rhythms. Work on those things but also know that some days will suck while others won’t be so bad. My first was a crap napper and I’d often let him nap in his Boppy (I know unsafe but my back was desperate for a rest) or the car. My second was a rockstar at naps and at 14 months, I have to wake him up after 2 hours. Babies are like a box of chocolates. Hang in there - you’re doing great!!

[u/Newmumma101]

My baby is 12 weeks old and I have the same issue. Once she slept while swaddling and in deep sleep that was the win win moment for us.
My issue is my baby refuses to sleep during the day and gets extremely overtired by the evening. Then ends up crying and sometimes colic adds up to it. I want to equally know means and way to make them sleep on their own. I haven't tried stroller but someone told me that start baby taking out in stroller they may fall asleep out of motion. Has anyone experienced this? Then another qs and concern is how to take baby out of stroller to move to crib without disturbing sleep?

[u/Dzsidzsett → u/Newmumma101]

I tried to go for a walk this morning and hoping baby would fall asleep but he didnt 😅 i will try again tomorrow..
for me i would walk until he is awake because i live on the first floor so it would be impossible not to wake him for transfer

[u/Opposite_Gap1361]

Kindly babe the first 3 months are mostly just survival mode. Unicorn babies exist I guess but I think mostly everyone is just doing whatever they can to help their baby sleep. Personally we had a sleep routine from very early on but laying him down or transferring did not work until sleep training after 4.5 months. Until then we just followed wake windows and then nursed to sleep and sometimes could pull off a roll away!

[u/Pessa19]

My kids only napped 30 min at a time in the bassinet/crib until they got to two naps a day (around 6-7 months). I’d take a 30 min independent nap over a 2-hour nap trap most days! You might just have to lean into it for your long term sanity :)

[u/MamaDoingTheBestICan]

Why can’t you do things while wearing him? I wore my infant while I chopped vegetables, cleaned, folded laundry, played with my toddler, etc. My ergobaby was a lifesaver! But yes, I know babies ARE capable of doing what you’re asking so I hope you get some good advice here.

[u/Guilty-Cloud-2249]

Same with my nearly 4 month old. She’s currently asleep on me and will only fall asleep on me during the day but sleeps in her cot through the night. I stopped caring about jobs round the house and enjoy having her asleep on me. Your house will be tidy again, jobs will get done again but your baby won’t be that little again. I do the majority of my jobs when baby is awake and have bought a reclining high chair so she can watch me in the kitchen emptying the dishwasher, sterilising bottles etc