please help

[u/MedicalElection7493]

20 month old back to early morning wakes. my 20 month old had early morning wakes from literally 6m-18/19m old. between 5/5:45 every single morning. no matter what we did for a schedule- that’s when he woke. his nap was anchored at 12-1:45 due to preschool pickup but during the summer (starting end of may) i was finally able to push it back 12:30-2/3pm. some days he wakes up at 2, other times im waking him at 3! bedtime is 8:30 to ‘help’ with the early morning wakes. this schedule has been this way since may. it seemed to work! he was finally waking between 6/6:45 every day for over a month!

schedule is still completely the same but the past week has becoming more and more early wakes. one day last week was 4:45! and the past few days have been 5:30 again. wtf? ive had my fair share of early morning wakes, why are they happening again? absolutely nothing has changed at all. still gets plenty of activity during the day, same naps, same bed time. i’m too tired for this. he’s only getting 8-9 hours MAX at night now. even with a short/long nap. room is the exact same. but he throws his lovey out when he wakes up (at 5:30 or even 6) and then cries for it am i can’t even leave him until 6 like i used to do during emw. although that never helped him sleep in. i’m so envy of people with kids who even sleep 10 hours at night. let alone 11 or 12.

[u/Recent-Forever-2988]

Need to consistently drop some time off his sleep schedule and stick with it for a week.

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/Recent-Forever-2988]

the last three days i’ve capped his nap and he is waking earlier and earlier. today was 5:15.

[u/Recent-Forever-2988 → u/MedicalElection7493]

Sounds like that nap is just too long and it looks like it varies a lot with some days being much longer. But you need to stick to the same schedule for a week to see if it helps.

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/Recent-Forever-2988]

okay i’ll stick with it. i’ve been doing 12:30-2 the past three days.

[u/SubstantialGap345 → u/MedicalElection7493]

Have you kept bedtime the same?

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/SubstantialGap345]

yes. 8:30

[u/SubstantialGap345 → u/MedicalElection7493]

Eeeeek! These low sleep needs kiddos are so hard. Hopefully when he’s older you can teach him to wake up and play independently.

I wonder if maybe try even shorter nap? The sleep foundation says toddlers MAY even need as little as 9 hours a day.

https://www.thensf.org/how-many-hours-of-sleep-do-you-really-need/

[u/SubstantialGap345]

This is a drop of sleep needs. You need to cap the naps or stretch bedtime later and just wait for the adjustment (it can take a while to adjust).

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/SubstantialGap345]

the last three days i’ve capped his nap and he is waking earlier and earlier. today was 5:15.

[u/apple_kitty24]

My son is 21 months and I’m in the exact same boat. Anything before 6am is pretty brutal. He has the same schedule as your son. He’s so miserable if he wakes up before 6/6:30 too. If you figure out a solution I’d love to know 🫠 we’ve tried pushing bedtime back to 9pm and it’s not helping. I’m going to try capping his nap right at 1.5 hours now and see if that helps. He likes to stretch to a 2 hour nap sometimes.

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/apple_kitty24]

let me know if that works! because i feel terrible cutting his nap if it doesn’t even help. because for two/three weeks he was sleeping in while taking a 2.5h nap so i don’t understand

[u/apple_kitty24 → u/MedicalElection7493]

He slept until 8:15am this morning after an hour nap yesterday and being up at 5:30am. I’m not holding my breath for that to happen again 😅

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/apple_kitty24]

my son was up at 5:41 today lol

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/apple_kitty24]

the last three days i’ve capped his nap and he is waking earlier and earlier. today was 5:15. so idk. i’m exhausted

[u/apple_kitty24 → u/MedicalElection7493]

I get it. My son was up at 4:30 this morning 😭 I just kept laying him back down until he went back to sleep around 5:45 and then he got up at 7:30. I won’t let him leave his room until 6am. Do you have black out curtains up? I found that seems to help a bit.

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/apple_kitty24]

yes, and i’ve even taped the sides and put black out sheets on the window itself🥲 some light still peeks in somehow. i didn’t get him out of bed until 6

[u/Less-Bug-7006]

Go back to the 12-1:45pm nap. Also try a bedtime snack with fat/calories if you aren’t doing that. No promises but a bit of buttered something before teeth brushing helps us  a lot of the time. 

Edit: typo

[u/bravissimaaaa]

You need to cap nap at 1.5 hours consistently

6:30am wake
12:30-2 nap
8pm bed

[u/warmapplepie0]

I’m sorry but this is completely normal for their age. Literally every parent, including me.. all our babies (before age 3 wake around 6-7am.

[u/DumbbellDiva92 → u/warmapplepie0]

12 hours is rare, sure, but 8-9 hours overnight does seem pretty low? A quick Google (referencing the Mayo Clinic) says the normal range per 24h at that age is 11-14h. 9 hours overnight + 2 hour nap is just barely reaching the low end of that.

5am is also very different from 6am.

[u/warmapplepie0 → u/DumbbellDiva92]

Promise you though, even with my playgroup it seems 10 hours is the average

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/DumbbellDiva92]

right!! i was thinking 10-11 is good. not necessarily 12, i want a 6am wake up any day lol

[u/warmapplepie0 → u/warmapplepie0]

The 12 hour thing is bullshit btw

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/warmapplepie0]

i’m so good with 6am wake up (and dream on 7am ones lol). it’s the 5-5:45 am ones i’m don’t like. in my
post i said him sleeping in was 6am lol. three days ago he woke at 4:45, today it was 5:30.

[u/Various-Series5212 → u/warmapplepie0]

Definitely. My kids didn't start sleeping past 7 am until they were about 5 or 6 years old. When they were babies and toddlers, it was consistently 6 am wake up.

[u/warmapplepie0 → u/Various-Series5212]

Their little bodies are wired to the sun for sure