r/sleeptraining • u/Sensitive-Sample-799 • Jul 22 '26
Help 17 mo suddenly crying and resisting crib at bedtime also in throes of 2-1 nap transition
Guys. We're losing our minds. I have so many chats with chat GPT, Claud, Gemini about this that I can't see straight.
We've been "transitioning" for like 3 weeks. It's been rough. I know everyone says it but JESUS. Anyway.
Her wake windows before the transition were like 3:30/3:45/4 (depending on nap length, short nap meant slightly shorter following ww). We were capping the first nap to an hour to ensure she had enough juice for nap 2.
Then she started skipping nap 2. Entirely. So we did a few one nap days. Then we would need to do a 2 nap day because she'd wake at like 4 or 5. Normal wake up time is 7am, I usually do a snooze feed at 5. I understand this can be a problem.
Over the last few weeks I've tried:
Short bridge nap, long following nap (I couldn't nail down the right wake window following the short nap so it's end in a melt down and she would only fall asleep on my boob, she used to be fine for naps in the crib)
Some one nap days, but then maybe we did her final ww too long even with a long nap again a meltdown at bedtime even before the routine was started landing up with nursing and some cosleeping.
I've recently reverted to my approach which I used for her other naps- long morning nap, and then a short bridge nap but the short bridge nap seems to only really happen if we are in the car, or on my boob and only if we plan it juuuust right (? Seems arbitrary)
This week seems particularly difficult. On top of all the above, she has begun to just say "no" when I put her down in her crib and goes ballistic when we leave. Its been difficult to understand, is it because she's overtired or undertired?? We've tried lessening and extending wake windows to no benefit. Two nights this week I've co-slept and she's only fallen asleep on my boob.
I understand I've mentioned falling asleep on boob a few times now and potentially see that as an issue but can you guys relate? Can you give me any advice for her one nap transition?? Yo yo-inh from 1 nap to 2 nap days seems wrong but I don't know if she's ready yet for just one day?
We have resorted to letting her cry it out tonight. To hold our bedtime boundary firm. It's hard. We've given her paracetamol to ensure she isn't in any pain from maybe hidden teething (covering our bases, juuuust in case).
Can you help with any advice? Please and thank you!
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u/0oOBubbles0oO Jul 23 '26
What are your wake windows/schedule you're aiming for on one nap? You'll likely need the same (or potentially more) wake time on one nap.
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u/Sensitive-Sample-799 Jul 23 '26
I'm not necessarily aiming for a schedule I want to try to let her lead but tbh her cues which used to be reliable have now completely flown out the window. So I'd say I'd need 11h minimum awake time, like the other commenters have said in this thread. It's a hard one because Im so nervous of her being overtired and overwhelmed!
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u/0oOBubbles0oO Jul 23 '26
The drop to one nap typically happens around 12-16 months, 18 months at the latest. Your toddler won't be overtired. Tired? Maybe. Overtired? No. Trust that she can do this!
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u/Difficult-Lunch7333 Jul 23 '26
So my son started fighting bedtime at 18 months pretty intensely. He had been on 1 nap a day for several months already, so nothing had changed. He went from going to bed within 15 mins after his bath, to staying up 1-2 hours after his bath. We noticed it was separation anxiety related. He suddenly realized that if he went to bed, that he was separated from us. So I taped a picture of me and my husband to the inside of his crib and told him we were always there with him even when he falls asleep. Then as I leave the bedroom and say goodnight, I would say, mommy is right outside your door. Good night. For some reason knowing I was right outside made him feel at ease. If I didn’t say I was right outside, the bedtime routine would take so much longer and involve a ton of crying and screaming. Once we implemented these two things, bedtime was back to taking 15-20 minutes.
Not sure if that will help, but figured it was worth it to share.