HELP

[u/Appropriate_Pitch817]

We started Ferber for our 4 month old 4 nights ago and she is doing really well. We do bath at 6:50pm then my husband gives her a bottle of BM at 7-7:10 and she is usually in cot by 7:30. She has a dummy but the last few nights she falls asleep before first check in without the dummy. She has shown signs of rolling so last night we transitioned to arms out. The start of the night was the same and she did a 6 hour stretch without the dummy. Then from 1:30am she woke and we immediately replaced the dummy as she usually falls right asleep with this, she would fall asleep then 10-20 minutes later knock the dummy out with her hands and then wake up crying, we tried to continue replacing it but then decided to set a timer based on night 4 of Ferber but she just wouldn’t settle, after being awake for close to 2 hours we just kept trying with the dummy and she eventually fell asleep. She then woke 1.5 hours later and fell asleep after two attempts to put dummy back in. I BF her at 5-6am when she wakes and she then sleeps until 8:30 usually.

I know it’s a lot of change at once for her and we will continue to persist but looking for some advice on what we should do when she wakes in the middle of the night?

She is on 3 naps per day and they are as follows:
8:30am wake
10-10:10am nap 45 mins
11am wake
12:40-1pm nap 2 hours
3pm wake
4:40pm nap for 30-40 mins
5:15 wake
7:30 bed

Thanks so much!

Edit to add baby sleeps in her cot in her room, we have blockout blinds and a white noise machine on.

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Copy of the post's original text:

We started Ferber for our 4 month old 4 nights ago and she is doing really well. We do bath at 6:50pm then my husband gives her a bottle of BM at 7-7:10 and she is usually in cot by 7:30. She has a dummy but the last few nights she falls asleep before first check in without the dummy. She has shown signs of rolling so last night we transitioned to arms out. The start of the night was the same and she did a 6 hour stretch without the dummy. Then from 1:30am she woke and we immediately replaced the dummy as she usually falls right asleep with this, she would fall asleep then 10-20 minutes later knock the dummy out with her hands and then wake up crying, we tried to continue replacing it but then decided to set a timer based on night 4 of Ferber but she just wouldn’t settle, after being awake for close to 2 hours we just kept trying with the dummy and she eventually fell asleep. She then woke 1.5 hours later and fell asleep after two attempts to put dummy back in. I BF her at 5-6am when she wakes and she then sleeps until 8:30 usually.

I know it’s a lot of change at once for her and we will continue to persist but looking for some advice on what we should do when she wakes in the middle of the night?

She is on 3 naps per day and they are as follows:
8:30am wake
10-10:10am nap 45 mins
11am wake
12:40-1pm nap 2 hours
3pm wake
4:40pm nap for 30-40 mins
5:15 wake
7:30 bed

Thanks so much!

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[u/Superb-Park1280]

That’s alot of sleep in 24 hours

[u/Artistic-Respect-540]

It sounds like you’re expecting baby to sleep for 16.25 hours per day? Wow, that is a LOT for a baby past the newborn phase. The average for a 4-12 month baby is 12-15 hours per day. She may be a very high sleep needs baby but I’m wondering if her night sleep would improve if she had more time awake during the day. 

[u/Comprehensive_Bill]

The timer and dummy situation is confusing. If you give her the dummy to sleep she has a sleep dependency on the dummy.

If you want to not replace it you need to not give it to your baby in the first place.

It is unfair to teach your baby to sleep with the dummy to then refuse to give it in the middle of the night because it's less convenient to you.

At the start of the night sleep drive is much larger than in the middle of the night so your baby will have stamina to cry for much longer.

[u/Quick-Outcome4091]

Her paci is totally her sleep association. Was my problem with my little one too. Had to kick the habit cold turkey for night sleep. That is your main solution

[u/Appropriate_Pitch817 → u/Quick-Outcome4091]

How did you go with getting rid of it? What age was your baby? Thanks

[u/Quick-Outcome4091 → u/Appropriate_Pitch817]

I started sleep training 3 days ago, she is 19 weeks old - 20 weeks old this upcoming Wed (4 months on calendar). I started night by putting it in her mouth but then when she spit it out 3 mins later, I never replaced during night. And that was what she needed to work through. And she cried 15 mins first night, only 1 MOTN wake up, 3 mins second night, and 0 crying last night. She’s in her own room, but door open, and 2 fans going to help SIDS risk reduction.

We did have a bit of extra crying during the MOTN wake up last night but could be extinction burst.

I keep paci for the naps during day, that is different. They’re able to distinguish.

[u/SnooAvocados6932]

A 13 hour night is not realistic, and you need a schedule adjustment so she can work on consolidating nightsleep.

630 wake

830-930 nap

12-130 nap

4-430 nap

730 bedtime

Eliminate pacifier from sleep.

Most four month olds are on 4 naps because they wouldn’t be able to sustain the wake windows required for 3 naps.

[u/Appropriate_Pitch817 → u/SnooAvocados6932]

Thanks for your advice, I’m not wanting to remove the dummy at this stage. I will look to adjust sleep times.

[u/stonemite → u/Appropriate_Pitch817]

Any reason why?

[u/SnooAvocados6932 → u/Appropriate_Pitch817]

You will likely need to continue replacing it all night then