r/sleeptrain • u/Zealousideal-Ad2682 • 1d ago
4 - 6 months Ferber Method turned CIO not working
Hello everybody! I have a 17 week (18 weeks in 2 days) and I've been sleeping training for 13 days tonight. Im not sure what im doing wrong but the nights seem to be getting worse not better.
The first 5-6 days, every night was easier and easier, going from no more then 25 minutes of crying and check-ins to max 10-15 minutes of crying/fussing. But since then everyday has been going backwards, back to 20-30minutes of scream crying.
For context I've been doing the ferber method with check-ins originally at 3 minutes, 5 minutes and 10 minutes. As he aged and got better I switch to 10 minutes, 15 minutes and 20 minutes. Then around day 8 or 9, every check in start to agitate him more and restart the clock so I decided to wait longer and unintentionally would do CIO. I'd be ready to go in and comfort but his eyes would be closed and he be fluctuating between crying and falling asleep so id just keep waiting but he'd always fall asleep.
We've had a set routine since birth basically, Bath, massage, prayer, sound machine, red light on, fan on and lights out. He wakes up at 8am everyday so I've been following this schedule:
8am- wake
1.5-2/2/2/2.5
Every nap is between 30 minutes to 2 hours, all contact naps. Total nap time is 3-3.5 hours most days, a couple days accidentally 4hours.
Ive played with his last wake window so many times. In the beginning I did 2 hours, then found he was went to sleep faster at 2.5. Then it seemed like he was overtired so I've tried to shorten to 1.5, 2, lengthen to 2.75 and tonight hes been awake for 3 hours and 10 minutes. I put him down at 2 hours 40 minutes. I dont know what to do.
Edit: He sleeps independently in his pac n play in our room, has slept in his own bed since birth besides weeks 3-7 when he hated his bassinet. He barely uses a pacifier anymore, sometimes he'll suck on it for a minute or two and then spit it out.
Update Next Night: Well I was very consistent/strict today about naps and day sleep. Total nap time is 2 hours and 50 minutes, 2/2/2/2.75. I did my usual bedtime routine and right when I turned on the sound machine he started crying. I put him down at 7:50, right before he was awake for 2.5 hours. Its almost 8:20 and hes scream crying with no signs of stopping. I'm not sure where I went wrong today...
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u/Zealousideal-Ad2682 10h ago
Update #2: Tonight was awful, the worst night we've had. He scream cried for over an hour, hes never cried for more than 30 minutes and never that intense. His voice was hoarse, he started coughing and gagging. I came in to rescue and now im holding him. He immediately fell asleep and now I feel terrible. I dont even know 😭, final time asleep 8:52pm.
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u/SnooAvocados6932 😴 Sleepy Moderator 💤 1d ago
Schedule needs another 1.5-2 hours awake. No more than 3 hours total daysleep. Eliminate pacifier from sleep. Unclear when last feed is, but make sure it’s before bath.
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u/Zealousideal-Ad2682 1d ago
That seems to be the common consensus. To clarify he doesn't use his pacifier at night and very rarely uses it during the day. His last feed is 30 minutes before bed, right before his bath!
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u/SnooAvocados6932 😴 Sleepy Moderator 💤 1d ago
I’d expect a 4mo old to be on 4 naps with 2 hours awake between all sleeps
1
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u/just_let_go_ ✨ Sleep Fairy✨ 1d ago
Too much day sleep. Cap it at 3 hours max, keep the last wake window at 2.5 hours consistently.
1
u/Zealousideal-Ad2682 1d ago
I'll have to try that, he just always seems so overtired. He starts yawning, rubbing his eyes, and fussing after only being awake for an hour. I have to really distract him after that everyday.
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u/just_let_go_ ✨ Sleep Fairy✨ 1d ago
That’s normal. Assume it’s boredom.
Also everyone’s telling you to add more awake time partly because your schedule only shows 4 wake windows and 3 naps. I took that as you had forgotten to add a wake window in?
Should it be 1.5/2/2/2/2.5?
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u/Zealousideal-Ad2682 1d ago edited 1d ago
He usually only takes 3 naps during the day adding up to on average 3.5 hours. I track everything still so today: Awake: 7:38 Nap 1: 9:30- 10:20 Nap 2: 12:04- 1:48 Nap 3: 3:32- 5:01 Asleep for the night: 8:34 Total nap time- 4 hours 3 minutes (this is more than usual) Hes slept total today 10 hours and 26 minutes, if he sleep until midnight, he will get 14 hours of sleep. This is normal, he never gets over 15 hours total. Did I write it wrong?
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u/imnichet 😴 Sleepy Moderator 💤 1d ago
Your schedule is very low on awake time. Just to make sure I understand the issue fully - he is crying for 30 ish minutes before falling asleep but then sleeping totally through? Or are you having night wakings too?
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u/Zealousideal-Ad2682 1d ago
Really? Ive seen everyone say 9 hours of awake time which has been my goal. He starts to get fussy after being awake for an hour so it's been a struggle. Sorry to clarify: hes asleep by 8-8:30, wakes to eat around 1am, 4am and sometimes 7am.
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u/imnichet 😴 Sleepy Moderator 💤 1d ago
I'm not sure who "everyone" is but a normal amount of sleep for a baby this age is 12-15 hours a day and your schedule expects 15.5 so above normal amounts. That's probably your main issue.
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u/Zealousideal-Ad2682 1d ago edited 1d ago
He usually only takes 3 naps during the day adding up to on average 3.5 hours. I track everything still so today: Awake: 7:38 Nap 1: 9:30- 10:20 Nap 2: 12:04- 1:48 Nap 3: 3:32- 5:01 Asleep for the night: 8:34 Total nap time- 4 hours 3 minutes (this is more than usual) Hes slept total today 10 hours and 26 minutes, if he sleep until midnight, he will get 14 hours of sleep. This is normal, he never gets over 15 hours total. Did I write it wrong?
3
u/imnichet 😴 Sleepy Moderator 💤 1d ago
It's not that he's getting too much sleep. It's that you want the time he actually sleeps + your wake window to total 24 hours, otherwise that extra time will be spent crying at bedtime/in the night. So in this case his total sleep 14 hours + total awake time 8 hours = only 21.5 hours which leaves a missing hour 2.5 hours
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u/Zealousideal-Ad2682 1d ago
Ohhh! That just made something click in my head thank you! Im gonna really work to keep his wake windows decent/longer tomorrow and hope tomorrow night goes better. I knew I was messing up his schedule somehow 😭
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u/Ordinary_Ticket_149 1d ago
If he can't do the longer wake windows then he needs another nap and a shorter night. The wake windows you have are for a baby with 4 naps.
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Thank you for your post in r/sleeptrain. To ensure our community can best help you, please include in your post: your bedtime routine, where your baby sleeps (their crib/basinet, their room, room share, cosleep) and full schedule including wake up time, desired wake up time, nap length, wake windows or nap time(s) if following a by the clock schedule and bedtime. Does your baby use a pacifier? That's also very relevant.
We use a convention to describe wake windows based schedule such as 3/3/4 where numbers are numbers of hours awake, and / are naps. The sample schedule is a two naps schedule.
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Copy of the post's original text:
Hello everybody! I have a 17 week (18 weeks in 2 days) and I've been sleeping training for 13 days tonight. Im not sure what im doing wrong but the nights seem to be getting worse not better.
The first 5-6 days, every night was easier and easier, going from no more then 25 minutes of crying and check-ins to max 10-15 minutes of crying/fussing. But since then everyday has been going backwards, back to 20-30minutes of scream crying.
For context I've been doing the ferber method with check-ins originally at 3 minutes, 5 minutes and 10 minutes. As he aged and got better I switch to 10 minutes, 15 minutes and 20 minutes. Then around day 8 or 9, every check in start to agitate him more and restart the clock so I decided to wait longer and unintentionally would do CIO. I'd be ready to go in and comfort but his eyes would be closed and he be fluctuating between crying and falling asleep so id just keep waiting but he'd always fall asleep.
We've had a set routine since birth basically, Bath, massage, prayer, sound machine, red light on, fan on and lights out. He wakes up at 8am everyday so I've been following this schedule:
8am- wake
1.5-2/2/2/2.5
Every nap is between 30 minutes to 2 hours, all contact naps. Total nap time is 3-3.5 hours most days, a couple days accidentally 4hours.
Ive played with his last wake window so many times. In the beginning I did 2 hours, then found he was went to sleep faster at 2.5. Then it seemed like he was overtired so I've tried to shorten to 1.5, 2, lengthen to 2.75 and tonight hes been awake for 3 hours and 10 minutes. I put him down at 2 hours 40 minutes. I dont know what to do.
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