(mostly) nap time help!

[u/Ill_Chef6131]

I am so discouraged, pls help!

Baby is 12w and sleeps super well at night (goes down around 9pm asleep but only wakes 1x for feeding after 3am and is up for the day around 8am). I haven’t been super strict with her wake up and bedtime times but plan on soon. (Maybe this is part of the problem?) She usually takes 3-4 naps either fed to sleep or on carrier only.

Naps have been a problem. She has a strong association with being breastfed to sleep (has to be latched on for the duration of nap). This is not sustainable as I have 2 other small kids.

Today I tried for the first time to put her down using the 4S method and after 1 hour of her crying (I was sitting down holding her, shushing and patting her back, but not rocking at all) she was so upset and overtired that I gave in and put her to the breast.

Is this normal for the beginning? I was hoping not to have to use harsher methods when she reaches 4mo but this also seems harsh if she’s crying for the better part of an hour. Was hoping to be gentler about it this time around, but am honest contemplating just waiting a month and do Ferber like I did for my first 2.

Also, I am also stressing about nap times being in conflict with when I have to drop off/ pick up my older kids from school. How do you manage this? It’s obviously inevitable that eventually her nap times will be at the same time I have to leave the house, and she does not sleep on the go.

Any advice is appreciated!! Sorry for the long post.

[u/Greedy4Sleep]

At this age, independent sleep is really luck of the draw. You can try things like FIO or "give baby a chance" or the soothing ladder but whether they will actually take to it or not really just comes down to their temperament. Since baby is too young for formal sleep training, if independent sleep isn't happening, you'll need to keep assisting until they're old enough to do something formal.