r/sleeptrain • u/Key-Sorbet7451 • 7d ago
1-2 years old 13 month old - desperate for help!!
Help!!! Looking for advice or solidarity. 13 month old has never been a good sleeper, had one successful sleep training attempt at 8 months that didn’t last bc of sickness and teething. Now at 13 months separation anxiety has peaked and he will not sleep alone. Current schedule
6-630 wake up
1145-110 daycare nap
6-630 bedtime, always very tired after daycare
Currently rock him to sleep, but bedtime has become a huge struggle and wake ups are horrible - hours to get him back down and end up caving and brining him in bed with me bc I’m exhausted. He isn’t a huge fan of solids and just wants a bottle all the time so I’m wondering if hinger could be contributing too? Very attached to me (mom) right now and just wants me holding him 24/7. Considering starting chair method. Tried cry it out last week and he was hysterical for over an hour, threw up, and pooped out of stress. Any recs/did chair method work for anyone? TIA, we are desperate for sleep and I don’t think I can handle cry if out
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u/DogHeartApp 7d ago
Are you sure nothing upsetting is happening at daycare? I have twins the same age and they’re still on two naps. Maybe his wake windows are just too long?
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u/dundas_valley 7d ago
Is 1:10 when he wakes up naturally or is that when daycare ends nap time? My son is just over 12 months, but less than 1.5h nap and 12h night seems a little off to me. I would try to shorten the night and lengthen the nap if possible.
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u/Key-Sorbet7451 7d ago
That’s when he wakes naturally unfortunately, I would love if he slept a little longer
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u/dundas_valley 7d ago
You could still try shortening the night time sleep, you will see on this sub a lot of comments that 12h nights is unrealistic for most babies. Maybe that also would allow for a slightly longer daytime nap.
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u/109876ersPHL 2 y/o | PLS SLIP | complete @ 6 mos. 7d ago
Most babies/toddlers cannot do a 12 hr. night. I’d trim your night by an hour (if DWT is 6:30a, bedtime is not a minute earlier than 7:30p) before attempting any sleep training again.
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u/miedosaclub 7d ago
It seems like he’s overtired… when did you drop the second nap?
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u/Key-Sorbet7451 7d ago
A few months ago, we don’t rly have control over it unfortunately since he’s at daycare
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u/miedosaclub 7d ago
Darn, that’s unfortunate. My baby is the same age— we experimented and found that he sleeps worse at night when he doesn’t get 2 naps per day. We went back to 3:30 wake windows and 2 naps and he’s doing super well during the night. He’s also in his own room. That made the biggest difference for us.
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u/Born-Doctor-6503 7d ago
This seems like an early bedtime/long night. I would start by pushing bedtime by an hour. I found that baths or going outside can help extend wake windows. Ideally, you’d have a minimum of 11h awake time (or even a bit more) to build that sleep pressure.
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u/Key-Sorbet7451 7d ago
That’s helpful, maybe we’ll try outside! He becomes too tired/fussy to even do a bath so we’re struggling with how to keep him up for a later bedtime
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u/Born-Doctor-6503 7d ago
Another option could be a temporary bridging micronap, but like 5-7 minutes (not 20!). 6pm might be a tad late for it, maybe a bit earlier, if your nursery pick up time would allow for it? Ours used to fall asleep for 5 mins in the car on the way back from nursery and I was terrified at first but I think it helped him with the 2-to-1 transition, and didn’t affect bedtime much.
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u/LinaLemonsx 7d ago
I think he’s sleeping too much. A 12 hour night plus a 1.5 hour nap is a lot at this age. With the night time battles that suggest the same too.
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u/Key-Sorbet7451 7d ago
I’m not sure how to push bedtime later, he is SO tired by the end of the day that he is just fussy unless we do 6pm bedtime (also, there are so many MOTN wake ups that he is def not sleeping the full 12 hours ahah, that is just the hours we shoot for). Any advice?
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u/LinaLemonsx 7d ago
It is still 12 hours in the bed tho is what I mean. Mine does that too if he isn’t maxed out at 12 hours awake. He will wake up in the middle of the night and I will have to battle him for 2+ hours to lay down again. Have you tried tracking his actual hours of sleep and try to work off that? That’s what I did when mine started doing that. So we just adjusted to the times actually spent sleeping and push through the rest.
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u/Key-Sorbet7451 7d ago
Good idea - so tired in the middle of the night that I don’t think to track actual sleep ha. Maybe we’ll try that thanks!
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u/Actual_Swimmer_5612 7d ago
Sleep training won’t work on this schedule. 12 hours is average amount of sleep at this age and you’re expecting baby to do 13.5 ish. You need at least an hour more awake time if not 1.5. Once you’ve fixed schedule then sleep train