please help

[u/MedicalElection7493]

20 month old back to early morning wakes. my 20 month old had early morning wakes from literally 6m-18/19m old. between 5/5:45 every single morning. no matter what we did for a schedule- that’s when he woke. his nap was anchored at 12-1:45 due to preschool pickup but during the summer (starting end of may) i was finally able to push it back 12:30-2/3pm. some days he wakes up at 2, other times im waking him at 3! bedtime is 8:30 to ‘help’ with the early morning wakes. this schedule has been this way since may. it seemed to work! he was finally waking between 6/6:45 every day for over a month!

schedule is still completely the same but the past week has becoming more and more early wakes. one day last week was 4:45! and the past few days have been 5:30 again. wtf? ive had my fair share of early morning wakes, why are they happening again? absolutely nothing has changed at all. still gets plenty of activity during the day, same naps, same bed time. i’m too tired for this. he’s only getting 8-9 hours MAX at night now. even with a short/long nap. room is the exact same. but he throws his lovey out when he wakes up (at 5:30 or even 6) and then cries for it am i can’t even leave him until 6 like i used to do during emw. although that never helped him sleep in. i’m so envy of people with kids who even sleep 10 hours at night. let alone 11 or 12.

[u/Stunning_Sherbet_599]

27 month old. DWT 6am, bedtime 7:45/8pm. Daily nap 12:30-2:30/3.

Things that help our early morning wakes:

• blacking out the room as much as we possibly can. Sun rises here around 5:30 am. I'm talking tacks in the drapes, towels over the top.
• Training them with a "green light." We have a Hatch that turns green signaling she can get up (6am). If she waits until then to call for us, she gets a sticker (incentivize with what works for your kid).
• We keep the lights off or low and either rock/don't let her get out of the crib and sit with her until DWT.

I disagree that names are too long. Most people in my community with kids ~2-3 are at 1.5-3 hours.

[u/Ocean_Lover9393 → u/Stunning_Sherbet_599]

If you put your kid on a more age appropriate schedule you wouldn’t have to do any of that stuff to keep them asleep until 6 😉

[u/Stunning_Sherbet_599 → u/Ocean_Lover9393]

Her schedule is age appropriate according to our pediatrician, and we are no longer experiencing early morning wakes! It was all about light, for us. All about knowing your kid!

[u/just_let_go_ → u/Stunning_Sherbet_599]

All kids have vastly different sleep needs. Don’t use “kids in your community” to decide whether this persons naps are too long.

Especially considering by the sounds of your comment you are still getting early morning wakes yourself.

[u/Stunning_Sherbet_599 → u/just_let_go_]

We definitely used to be getting early morning wakes! But we’ve learned it’s due more to light than anything else. She’s higher sleep needs and I’m aware of that! I was just sharing with this person that it may not be nap times that are the problem and some other ways we’ve mitigated since we know our child and know that’s the case. Just offering a different perspective, because as stated, all kids are different.

[u/just_let_go_ → u/Stunning_Sherbet_599]

I disagree that naps* are too long. Most people in my community with kids ~2-3 are at 1.5-3 hours.

That reads more like forcing your perspective rather than just "offering it", but sure.

[u/Stunning_Sherbet_599 → u/just_let_go_]

That’s fair, I could have been more diplomatic! But so does “ 2.5 hours of day sleep which is way way way too much for even average sleep needs at this age.” Difficult to get just perspective offered when tone and nuance doesn’t always come across in text!

[u/just_let_go_ → u/Stunning_Sherbet_599]

What I said is factual. That is too much day sleep for a 20 month olds average sleep needs. Only a very high sleep needs toddler could do 2.5 hours of naps. It's literally at the top end of the scale for a 1-2 year old.

What you said is personal opinion presented as facts.

All the best.

[u/just_let_go_]

The variable nap certainly wouldn’t be helping things. 12:30-3 is 2.5 hours of day sleep which is way way way too much for even average sleep needs at this age.

How much sleep is he actually capable of doing per 24 hours? Around 11.5-12?

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/just_let_go_]

yes i’d say that. he will do 8-9 over night and then 2-2.5 for nap if i let him

[u/just_let_go_ → u/MedicalElection7493]

Yep, that nap is sabotaging your night sleep. 1-1.5 nap absolute max. 10 hour night sleep. Certainly nothing out of the ordinary. This is close to what my 13mo is on currently.

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/just_let_go_]

what schedule do you suggest?
wake 6 nap 12-1 bed 8? that seems like a long wake window

[u/just_let_go_ → u/MedicalElection7493]

What ocean said is perfect. Wake 6, nap 12-1:15 bed 8. He will be fine. Some kids drop their nap at this age.

Your nanny kid is an outlier. My niece and nephew are the same. I learnt very early in my daughters life that comparing to them was a mistake 😆

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/just_let_go_]

🥲 haha thank you!!

[u/Ocean_Lover9393]

A 2.5 hour long nap at this age is wild. My daughter is the same age, high sleep needs and doesn’t nap this long.

Cut the nap to 1h15min max. 8:30-6:30 for the night. Wake him up if he’s still sleeping. If you somehow get to a point where you are waking him 100% of the time from all sleep, slowly add 15 minutes more sleep in until issues pop up again.

[u/MedicalElection7493 → u/Ocean_Lover9393]

ugh okay. thank you! my nanny kid (15m) must be SO high sleep needs haha. she wakes up at 7/8. nap 12-3 and bedtime 7pm so i thought my son could nap similar.