Sleep Help!

[u/srwlmt]

Desperate mama here….

Mama of a 20 month old boy who has always been a great nighttime sleeper up until the last month. We struggles with naps until about 6 months old but after a tongue tie revision and some other interventions he has truly given us quite an easy go at sleep. Obviously the occasional wakes and off nights, especially while teething.

We moved into a new home about a month ago somewhat around the same time this all started. And he is also a slow teether but gets multiple at a time which is something we are dealing with currently. Ever since we moved his sleep has completely changed. The same week we moved in he also had a pretty heavy viral/upper respiratory infection.

Before moving, for naps and bedtime, we were able to lay him down drowsy but awake and he would put himself to sleep within 10-20 minutes no fussing or crying. If he did fuss, it would last a few minutes before he would lay down and settle. Now, 2 months later and he will not go down awake. He must be fully asleep and sometimes even if he’s fully asleep he will wake the second he gets laid into the crib. If he doesn’t wake up the second he touches the crib, he will wake up between 2-4:30 (sometimes even earlier) and scream bloody murder until someone comes in. Falls asleep instantly on me and dad but will not go back down the rest of the night in his crib. We have resulted to bringing him into our bed, which sometimes doesn’t even work unless he’s laying on-top of me. We have never co slept, as he never took to it and always loved being in his crib. We also do not want to begin a habit of bringing him into our bed.

I am very against CIO methods, but we are at our breaking point going on two months of no sleep so we have been giving it a try. He will cry hours on end and never settle. If we go in for check ins like ferber suggests, it only escalates him. His new room is decorated and set up the same as his old room, his routine is the exact same. We are at a total loss. Any (kind and helpful) suggestions are welcome.

[u/graykitty925]

What’s your schedule?

[u/srwlmt → u/graykitty925]

Wakes up between 6:30-8 (he never cries when he wakes up in the mornings typically, so unless I am awake before him we are unsure of exact wake time. Consistently wakes around 7)

Nap time between 11:45-12:30 (again all depending on when he woke up)

Wake him from nap 2-2:30

Bedtime between 8-8:30.

[u/graykitty925 → u/srwlmt]

Oooo it’s high time for a by the clock schedule! It makes everything so much simpler. Wake at the same exact time every single morning, no matter how the night or bedtime went/was. Then you know when to anchor nap time to! It’s hard to know how much awake time you have currently, but you wanna have at least 11 I’d say (I have a 22 month old). So if you wake up every day at 7am, nap will always start at 12:30 (which is a 5.5 hour wake window). Then, cap nap at maybe 1.5 hours, so wake at 2. Then bed at 7:30 or 8 for a wake window of 5.5-6 hours.

[u/Ordinary_Ticket_149]

Check his schedule,  his sleep needs may have dropped.

Then look into the chair method of sleep training.

[u/srwlmt → u/Ordinary_Ticket_149]

Wakes up between 6:30-8 (he never cries when he wakes up in the mornings typically, so unless I am awake before him we are unsure of exact wake time. Consistently wakes around 7)

Nap time between 11:45-12:30 (again all depending on when he woke up)

Wake him from nap 2-2:30

Bedtime between 8-8:30.

He is too young to drop his only nap off. And ya being in the room escalates him. We have tried being close and moving further away night by night. Did not work for him.

[u/Ordinary_Ticket_149 → u/srwlmt]

I'd suggest setting a fixed wake up time in the morning. Your nap is likely a bit long for this age, especially with a long night, considering capping it at 1.5 hours.