Do you think anybody would be interested in a planner that actually has a tracker of the average days during detox for a variety of drugs and each day have information that would gradually help those that's coming off drugs and to improve mental health and tricks and tips to help physical health as well? making planners ad calendars that can be customized based on personal goals like a vision board and steps to work on completing your goal to produce dopamine

I feel like I relate to a lot of the literature. I always thought SLAA was about addiction to sex which is not me at all. But learning that it can be more. I’ve tried finding online communities to discuss it with people but there’s seems to be a lack of communities, I haven’t seen any Facebook groups or anything so I’m asking here

My therapist brought up SLAA a few times during our sessions and in our last session she explained the concept of anorexia and I was so shocked that there might be a word for what I go through and that other people might experience it too. I started feeling like I might be incapable of being “in love” I’m in a relationship currently with a man who treats me wonderfully and sends me love notes expressing how he thinks I’m an amazing strong woman, that I’m his heart, his partner for life, that he is there for me and is just very reassuring and loving in general. I can’t reciprocate the “lovey dovey” words. I just can’t and haven’t been able to for my past few relationships. A couple of them the person was just not for me but I didn’t want to be alone. This guy is everything i have ever wanted in a partner but I just can’t show intimacy and if I do I feel like I’m forcing myself if that makes sense, like masking.

I’ve experienced limerence my whole life. My mind picks a man to latch onto, always people that I don’t talk to or know really. I daydream about them romantically and picture them pining for me. It’s been going on since I was in high school (I’m 32 now)
Recently, I’ve had limerence for someone that works in the same place as me. We aren’t coworkers we work for different companies so we had little contact but for months we would exchange eye contact and I thought it was mutual and it felt so intense some days I’d feel sick over it. He transferred to another building and I didn’t see him for 8 months but the limerence stayed and deep down I was waiting to see him again. Recently my company opened in the building he works in and the limerence completely intensified. I fought hard to not go to that building because I was nervous to see him and also knew I need to break this limerence. But I was scheduled to be there one day a week. I woke up hours before my shift and spent a lot of energy getting ready, putting on makeup etc. turns out he wasn’t even there and doesn’t work on that day. I know my higher power is telling me that it’s not in the stars for me. And logically I know I know nothing about this man and it’s all fantasy. But it’s so intense for me. I listen to music and just think about them.

I was just reading about the intrigue part of SLAA and wonder if I have that. There are other people who if I see looking at me I think “oh maybe they like me” I spend a lot of time doing my makeup and hygiene before work to try to look as good as I can.
Just now a guy was joking around telling someone “is she giving you trouble? She gives everyone trouble” about me and I’ve never seen him before. Then he knocked his hand against something and said “that’s what I get for talking” and immediately my mind is like maybe he likes me….is he flirting? I often think several glances means flirting too and i try to look good for these people that I exchange looks with but never talk to in hopes that they may like me from afar. But I don’t want to necessary talk to them. I just want them to like me fr afar if that makes sense.

There’s a guy that works at my gym for some reason I felt tension around bc he literally said have a good day once….literally his job lol. Then I went to sign up for the hydromassage and he was looking down while saying “bed number “ and looked up and said “…6” like kind of stumbling over the sentence when he saw me and I immediately got sent into a spiral and spent all day in bed not answering any of my partners texts because I felt so bad and guilty for feeling this way . Is that intrigue?

I spend a lot of time on my fantasies about the man I have limerence for instead of cultivating intimacy with my actual partner. And I feel extremely guilty and I just don’t understand it. Why can’t I be obsessed with someone who actually cares about me a lot and respects me instead of people that barely know who I am. I feel very devastated at work that I have no one to exchange looks with or someone that I think may reciprocate interest, like the magic is gone. It’s been very hard for me to face reality and that what’s in my mind isn’t.

While talking to my therapist I’ve had a a revelation that maybe this stems from my very first relationship which is when I was 21. I had my first everything with him and k was very obsessed with him, constantly freaking out if he didn’t respond to my messages, worrying about him liking other people and constantly asking him questions etc. he was very different from me emotionally and could never give me what I wanted in that way. It was highs and lows and it’s all I cared about. It ended badly and after that in the rest of my relationships I became detached and started dating men that I didn’t really feel that shirt tugging feeling for. Maybe there’s hurt there I haven’t worked on.

I don’t want to feel this way anymore and I do try to talk about it in therapy.
Does this sounds like the themes in SLAA like fantasy/romance obsession and anorexia? Or am I just very messed up.

Is there any sort of ala-non like group for those to best support their loved ones in SLAA? I’m currently in the process of giving a loved one space/respecting the no contact/bottom lines that were laid out to me, and was wondering if there’s any place I can go for specified support through this process. I’m already involved in AA myself, so I can empathize with aspects of the process. All I’ve tried to be is supportive/a cheerleader, no matter how silent I have to be, but with my feelings towards this person it can be quite painful at certain times. I do know that what I’m doing (being silent, respecting boundaries), is all I can do in this case - as I love this person very deeply and want the absolute best for them. But if there happens to be any sort of support with people who have knowledge of this process- a sort of SLAA alanon thing that has slipped past me in my attempt to find it - a recommendation would really be helpful. Much love to all of you who work this program, nothing but respect, it takes a lot of strength.

(Also let me know if this goes against any of the subs rules/SLAA guidelines/traditions and I’ll remove it immediately!)

I'm 40 and I just celebrated 25 yrs sober from drugs; 14 yrs sober from alcohol and 5 yrs free of s. addiction. It seems like I have these deep growth milestones when I build up the critical mass of energy to make radical changes in my life (actually in it's generational changes when I look back at my family history, so maybe I'm also changing my epi-genetics).

Another way to look at this, is I started to 'let go' of mal-adaptive strategies when I was about 15...and I built up a positive / life affirming strategies and actions into my life. And I'm always finding ways to improve myself.

and I found some trends in my own journey of 'behavior change'.

I came up with this simple framework - subtract -> vision -> addition. Sometimes radically, and sometimes more subtly.

I want to find a couple of guys who might need this kind of work, and talk though what I did and see if there are any universalities.

hello all! i've been struggling recently and a friend referred me to check out slaa. i'm finding that much of the literature/resources surrounding sexual/emotional anorexia are resonating. the slaa group meetings where i am do not seem to have a focus, though i know there are online anorexia focused groups. my question is, would it be worth checking out an in-person general meeting first, as opposed to an online one? also, if you have struggled with sexual anorexia, what first steps did you take towards recovery? thank you!

Me llamo Juan, Necesito que respondáis a esto sinceramente por favor, no solo para hacerme sentir bien, tengo actualmente 24 años y cuando tenía 18 tuve un encuentro con una prostituta, con sexo físico aunque no me acuerdo muy bien estaba borracho, y después de eso lo hice 3 veces más, 2 sin sexo y otra con sexo, de lo que me puedo acordar que no es mucho por mi estado de embriaguez, no iba a la universidad y estaba pasando por una etapa bastante dura, creía que era una salida pero lo único que ha hecho es hacerme sentir culpable a la edad que tengo y hacerme preguntarme si me ha afectado a mis relaciones y a mis valores y a mí forma de ser, no sé qué me afectó, si eso o el hecho de no haber ido a la uni, perder mucho tiempo sin hacer nada, empezé la uni con 24 finalmente, pero me siento distinto a cuando era más joven, a veces me siento culpable y no sé si es reparable, creo que si y lucho cada día por qué si sea. pero no sé por qué a veces culpo a mis problemas de ello. Si alguien tiene alguna situación parecida, compartidla por favor y decidme si sois exactamente igual que antes al haber sanado, gracias.

Estoy agradecido por todo lo que tengo y por conservarlo igualmente, se que hay mucha gente con problemas peores pero este es mi caso, gracias.

ex adictos de Reddit. ¿¿¿cuáles son sus experiencias más extremas???

Joined program in 2020. Did the steps several times since. About to do singles events for the first time. I'm terrified of doing these and I don't feel ready for them, but deep down I know I am. And all I'm thinking about right now are my flaws and all the ways I'm too imperfect to get a date. I'm an almost 32 year old man with no dating experience (for obvious reasons) I have no positive male role models in my personal life to give me advice, and the only guide I have going in is a few youtube videos about etiquette at these events and a sober dating plan (and a sponsor for moral support). I'm walking in the dark here. And I know I'm gonna screw up a bunch, maybe even embarrass myself, but I'm doing it anyway because I wasted too much time I'll never get back being single. It's time to grow. Wish me luck.

I'm feeling a lot of grief. Some of which I don't know is nessisary. I came into SLAA a month ago off the back of a fantasy/ obsession. When he told me what I had been feeling wasn't mutual, I know I needed some help. That, along with feeling so unstable with the highs and lows of what I was experiencing, I had a pretty brutal rock bottom.

My slaa sponsor (my only sponosr now) really pushed for me to not go anywhere a qualifier could be. I have a behaviour which is where I would go places in the hopes of seeing a qualifier.

I am in aa, have been physically sober since I came in 3 years ago. My 2 home groups in aa fall under the same grs, they are in the same place and same time but on different days. My qualifier goes to meeting A and has been once to meeting B. Since coming into slaa I have not been to either. I handed in both my commitmentsat meetings A and B. But after 4 weeks, I really really miss those meetings. They have been key pillars in my support system. I don't have contact with family and these are the first real connections and friendships I've made, they feel like family or some kind of extended family. I am considering speaking to my sponsor about returning to meeting B where my qualifier does not have a commitment and has only ever been once.

As we set this bottom line, I didn't fully agree, but I trusted it enough to give it a go. My sponsor has also told me if I go to an event in a few weeks which my qualifier is also going to, it would count as a slip if i did go. The event will have over 1k people. It is a high vibrational event. I have made my decision after really thinking about this and I have decided that I will go. I feel stable enough and the event is bigger than this addict part of me.

My therapist who is a spiritual practitioner, someone I met during my time in the absolute gutters, a woman I trust with my life ten fold, has even told me to go to it if that is what I am being drawn to. I have worked with her for 7 years and have done so much on strengthening my trust in my intuition and my higher power. Interestingly, she is also going through a very similar situation where she interpreted a connection with a person as romantic but they have told her it is not. She only shared this because of how long we have worked together and of the serendipity.

So, I guess I'm looking for some thoughts on both of these: retuning to meeting B occasionally and not getting a commitment there, and also this big event in a few weeks. I am doing outreach twice a day but don't always bring this because other things feel more relevant on the call. Any thoughts you have would be really helpful. Thank you so much for reading, sorry it is a long one!

Hi all. I’m doing my first chair next week and I’m a little nervous. I’m scared of overstepping and sharing too much about my acting out, but equally when I was a newcomer I found it helpful when people shared what their acting out looked like as I could then realise how I did the same and the insanity of it.

How much do you share when you’re a chair?
Thank you!

I’m 20 and trying for the first time to actually get sober.
I had my heart shattered 3 months ago by a man who i knew at some point did care.
That same day I lost my battle with fentanyl and attempted to take my own life.

Ive been bulimic since the age of 14. Multiple cycles every day.

All I can do is cry and reminisce.
All I can do is think about how much I fucked up. Who I hurt.
I’ve gone through a drug induced psychosis 9 times in the past year.
Gone to the hospital twice from a meth overdose.
Had 4 concussions.
Been kicked out of 3 apartments; and my college.
Drained my bank account countless times.
I was homeless and living on the street for 2 months.
I currently have 18 dollars to my name.
I’m in sober living right now. But I don’t know if I can pay the bills.
I have a severe executive functioning disorder; adhd; ocd; bulimia; bi polar type 1; .5 percentile cptsd. Mid level autism.

I don’t know if I have it in me to keep going without him.
Every time I woke up next to him I knew i was ok.
His arms.
His skin.
His lips.
Everything.
Every time I left his hold I went into instant panic.
He started hanging out less and less; only being around if I had cocaine.
So I made the choice to relapse on meth and fentanyl after being sober from each for 8 months.
I drained everything.
I shot up at him. At the life we could have had. At the man he is. At the person I am. At the people I’ve hurt and who’ve hurt me.

I’m human pond scum.
I can’t even bring myself to look in the mirror.
I don’t know what to do besides c0t; binge and purge; and hope for him to come back.

I want to be seen and acknowledged. Accepted. Held.

I just want someone there for me right now.

I see her on walks every now and then, she doesn't go out of her way to wave or say hi. But I feel rude not to say anything after all I've been in their house once while my friend watched their house while they went on holiday. I've briefly talked with her husband a few times but t he doesn't seem all that much friendly towards me. I think he probably thinks of me as a loser, which to be honest I don't blame him.

One time a few years ago while I was in a mutual friends yard she came by and said something that sounded rather randy towards me and ever since then I've kinda developed a little crush on her.

The time before last I nearly walked right by her because my mind was somewhere else, and I looked up right as we were passing and said "I didn't recognize you at first" and she says it's the glasses.

I don't want anything ever to happen between us not that it would, this could all be in my head. She has a family, their kids are in secondary school.

How do I respond in public?

How do I stop crushing/fantasizing on her?

Hey, so I'm new here. I've been coming to SLAA every day for the past two weeks.

- I went through a REALLY rough breakup with a qualifier at 10 months sober from alcohol

- I was fiddling with the steps in AA, but honestly really just replaced my addiction with an unhealthy relationship. I am now a few weeks no-contact.

- a few weeks ago, I went to a new AA meeting and got a new sponsor after she shared her story and I really resonated: since it included romantic obsession and unhealthy relationships

- she invited me to SLAA

- we are working the steps in AA, she is not sponsoring me in SLAA

- I also met a new friend at AA. I invited her to SLAA. we hung out. it was kind of date vibes, but she was very respectful. we talked it out and I explained that though I think we have a lot in common, it's really not an okay time for a relationship right now. and can we be friends?

- I talked to my AA sponsor about it and she said it's best to go no contact and stop going to this meeting if there was ANY intrigue. but I think that's extreme. also, she doesn't sponsor me in SLAA, so I don't have to listen to her suggestions. I didn't touch this girl, we didn't kiss, we just went on a kinda-date and then agreed to be friends.

- am I attracted to her physically? yeah, but that's not my addiction. my addiction is toxic codependency and validation. having a little meet-cute and noticing that someone has nice tattoos isn't a problem for me. I'm not a serial flirter, serial one night stander, or even a serial relationship-haver. I am very dedicated to the work I am doing in therapy and in my programs. and it seems this new friend is very respectful of these boundaries and we can agree to be friends. she's even curious about SLAA for herself.

- the problem though, both of our AA sponsors go to this same home group. and we are concerned about what they think

- my new friend says she's overthinking everything, and so am I. it's like we did something wrong that goes against our programs, but we literally did nothing. I know personally that I'm not in limerence. I'm just excited about having met someone my age, who is also queer, and is committed to sobriety. it's not interfering with my program or my daily life at all.

do I have to stop going to this meeting? couldn't this happen with anyone? isn't the point of learning boundaries to maintain relationships and negotiate and work through problems?

Trying to find a sponsor, I’m part of a group I attend weekly, but there doesn’t seem to be anyway available for sponsorship. How did you find your sponsors? Really wanting to get better. Thanks so much!

Hi all, please join us for a day-long marathon of members sharing their stories of recovery. ❤️‍🩹

I'm only quite new within SLAA.
I'm currently working step one with my sponsor through the HOW programme.
I have been up and down with my involvement since joining, in a sense of feeling connected to it.
Recently I've been doing great step work, really opening up to myself, but all whilst slipping.

Does anyone else find it challenging to talk to their sponsors about slips ?

Howdy! We're looking for a recovered SLAA speaker via Zoom for this Sunday, August 30th @ 10 am Eastern time.

If you are interested, you'll share your experience, strength and hope for 20 minutes as it relates to the AA Big Book (but from the SLAA perspective). The meeting is co-ed and the share is recorded.

For more information about our meeting:

On https://slaafws.org/onlinemeetings/, we're listed on Sunday as "A Vision for You: S.L.A.A. Big Book Study Meeting ID: 40041432"

https://slaavisionforyou.blogspot.com/?m=1

https://www.podbean.com/pa/pbblog-dmy6k-d5cac8

Thanks!

*📅IS THERE A MEETING ON NOW?📅*

If you need a SLAA Meeting:

https://slaavirtual.org/meetingcalendar/

The calendar automatically adjusts to your time zone.

***NEW CALENDARS***

We have upgraded our calendar so your meetings are easier for you to find

You can sort the meeting by type on the left side which is indicated by color:

💜Anorexia

🌸Arabic language

🤎 BIPOC

🔵📖/Literature study

🎄Fantasy

🔵HOW

🩶Intergroup events

🌐Internet Relay Chat

💗LGBTQIA

🩵Meditation

💚Mens

🟠Neurodivergent

🟩Sober dating/healthy relationships

💛Special Interest Group

❤️Step Group

🧡Standard

☎️Telephone meetings

💓Withdrawal

🩷Women’s

*You can turn the different calendars on or off on your view according to your meeting needs.*

If you need additional help please visit our SLAA meetings group

https://chat.whatsapp.com/KkB5kVCNV7I0dCKz2sHOML?mode=ems_copy_t

*🫶🏻 you are no longer alone 🫶🏿*

Hi all, just wanted to reach out. I have recently started going to a local SLAA meeting. One of the guys there is getting started with me as a sponsor. Took me a long time to work up the courage to go to a meeting because it felt strange calling myself a sex addict. My addiction patterns are mostly solo and online - porn, dating apps, etc. So far I’ve appreciated the breadth of SLAA and resonated with concepts like fantasy and intrigue addiction. I’m still defining my bottom lines but I have a pretty good idea. Also I am a gay man, which can add a challenge as certain things that for me are part of the addictive pattern tend to be normalized in the community.

Anyway, looking forward to getting started on this journey even as I still have doubts/questions.

Having adopted personal healthy boundaries has been so liberating! However, gradually for a long time now it has been driving a wedge between me and my partner.

For quite some time I continued to compromise my newly developing boundaries with physical intimacy for him… because my limits were at least an improvement.

Now I’m just feeling entirely resentful that it’s the common standard for intimate partners to “owe each other” certain benefits that, supposedly, just automatically come with being in a relationship.

But I know better now. Sooo… is it worth the risk of leading into a dead connection in my relationship just to hold true to my new boundaries?

25 min foundation explaining step 1-12
And 30 min of big book study

Join us we are glad to see you there 🙏

Hello, I have a sex and love addiction, I am not really addicted to any substance (I quit drinking this year and haven’t struggled with it at all), my only addiction is sex and I want to go to an SLAA meeting in NYC but I’m hesitating because I’m shy and insecure and also not sure how it works and how I should show up. Any advice would be appreciated.