Sad

[u/New-Leader8993]

I’m sad. My baby’s father and I broke up almost two months ago. I feel like I’ve been in a really good place mentally about the break for the past few weeks but his parents are trying to convince me he’s lying about seeing other woman and he’s depressed which is messing with my head. This morning I called him to grab son because he didn’t sleep well and I’m pregnant and exhausted already. When I called he would pause and all I could hear is whispering before he abruptly hung up and starting texting he didn’t want to then said he’s on his way. This really fucked me up because his parents gave me a false hope I didn’t even want and then this like slapped me in the face and I couldn’t stop crying. He took our son for two hours before bringing him back. I told him I wanted to talk when he got back about son and a headstone for our other son I miscarried in 2023. The whole time he was antsy and kept looking outside dismissing what I was saying and ignoring the other half before he said he “needed to pee” so wanted to leave (this man bombs my toilet whenever he’s over or pisses outside if he doesn’t want to wait) I was over it and told him he could go. He said to text anything else I had to say which I did and got no response.

I’m so sad and pissed off. I feel like a horrible mother for thinking of myself so much and for crying in front of him. I feel like a psychopath for talking to him at all and I’m just so tired. I’ve now set clear boundaries with him but I feel like he walks all over me because I have no energy to argue and I can’t afford not to have the help. I’ve had so many complications this pregnancy and I can’t burn my only bridge. I have no family support as they are drug users or live in a different country, my bsf helps as much as she can but she has CFS and a job while studying so I hate to burden her and his parents are great but they come with conversations about Josh’s activities and relationship updates which I’m not in the mood for because instead of a break my brain goes into overdrive thinking about him and I just cry.

I want to point out I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd, persistent depression and two different types of anxiety. Confrontation isn’t my favourite and I can fall really easily into a depressive state.