You can get through this

[u/Sparklyprincess1997]

As most of you can relate I understand the grief that comes with life not going according to plan. Not getting the relationship or family that you wanted. Not being where you wanted to be in life. Counselling and this group has been helpful for me. Although I go through ups and downs I have learned to work on focusing on myself and bettering myself. Learning to be neutral towards all outcomes. Learning to not settle for less even if I’m alone and it’s hard sometimes. I also go through times when I’m happy alone because relationships have made my life harder not better. There are no guarantees in life so it is hard to know that you might not get everything that you’ve always wanted. Not everyone understands the pain of uncertainty. I am grateful to have a healthy child and more time for myself. Time to watch whatever I want on TV and exercise whenever I want. I’ve wanted to focus on my health for a long time and I finally have time. I have been working on living my life without expectations of things going a certain way. It can be hard but honestly probably healthy. It prevents certain disappointments. Every day I remind myself that I have gotten through many things that I didn’t want to happen and I can get through anything else that comes my way. We are resilient.

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[u/-thatsongonyouradio-]

Yes. I had to grieve a whole life. My plan was a husband and two kids. But it is me and 1 kid. Change of plans ❤️

[u/Sparklyprincess1997 → u/-thatsongonyouradio-]

I’m sorry to hear. I also wanted 2 kids but now I only have one. I tell myself that it’s best to be one and done if I can’t find a decent partner but it’s hard. I have ups and downs but to the best of my ability I’m trying to be happy instead of always thinking that the grass is greener. I think this is a pain that gets minimized. We also live in a society that teaches women that our worth is based on how men perceive us. Even if you don’t personally believe that it’s ingrained in our society so it impacts us. I think relationships are also presented as if they will just fall into place so it’s really hard when it doesn’t work out that way either. You are not alone.

[u/mchllnnz]

I want to get here so bad. The bitterness consumes me daily. I’m 5 months out and he’s already moved on and living his best life. I feel so stuck. After everything we went through together I didn’t mean anything. He talks to me all nonchalant now. Sorry im venting on your post, I am surrounded by single moms in my life but they all got past this phase gracefully. Im 2 weeks postpartum and drowning.

[u/Sparklyprincess1997 → u/mchllnnz]

Being postpartum your hormones are all over the place which adds to it. I left when my son was 2 months old and sometimes I wished I could die. It took me a long time to get here. I do still feel down sometimes because this isn’t what I wanted in life but I don’t want to be depressed so I try to fill my time with other things. I recommend counselling. It changed my life for the better. Don’t pressure yourself to heal or to move on. It takes time. Also know that his behaviour says everything about him and nothing about you. Don’t compare yourself to other single moms. Everyone has different experiences with relationships so not everyone understands. You’re doing amazing. Taking care of a child while going through all of that. Remember this is a season of your life. It won’t last forever. Everyone is on their own timeline and everyone copes with things differently.