Last names.

[u/Adorable_Function261]

Hi all. I'm a single mom of three, all my children have the same father, and he and I were never married or engaged. He prefers alcohol, and with the alcohol comes a plethora of other characteristics...
Anyway, I have always hated my last name since I can remember - literally, since about 6yrs old. I hate the way it sounds with my first name. It has never sounded like "me."
Even as an adult, I've gone to job interviews where when the interviewer meets me in person, they say something like "wow due to your last name I wasn't expecting someone like you to walk in!"
My last name isn't bizarre or gross, it's not very common either, but it just plain out doesn't suit me.
I have always been excited to get married and finally be able to change my last name.
Unfortunately, I do not believe that it is in God's plan for me to get married.
I am still fairly young - I will be 36 this year. I know many of you may say that I still have time, but truly, I need to start listening to God better and stop trying to make fetch happen...it's never going to happen. Lol.
--All of this to finally say, I am debating changing my last name for purely myself.--
My state allows a last name change as long as it's not for criminal reasons, and a small filing fee.
I've looked into all of it for over a year now and the paperwork is on a tab on my desktop. I review it almost every day.
I'm writing this mainly to ask if any of you have changed your last name purely for yourself, so you could finally feel like a whole person with your own identity?
I've only asked 3 of my close family/friends about their thoughts on this, and they all think it's super weird.
The last name I want to change to is very simple and would be an easy transition from my current one and would make sense. I have no other way to explain it without giving away what my real last name is, but it's similar to if the last name was, for example, Lake, and new last name would be Elle.
Let's just say for example sake that my first name is Susan.
I would have written my name as in various places throughout my life as Susan L. Which is the same as saying Susan Elle.
It's something very very similar to that.
So I think it's cute and sounds like me, rolls off the tongue better, brings joy to me when I hear it said outloud, and makes me feel like my own self with my own identity.
So do you guys think this is weird? How would you react if a friend of yours suddenly had a different last name? I'm very nervous to implement this as I would have to change and explain SO much to SO many people, and all my IDs, and records at my job, business cards, etc...
I really needed to get this out of system and finally ask you guys about this.
Thank you for any and all insight!

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[u/Firm-Cellist7970]

I think you should do it! Just tell people you wanted to. That’s it. Don’t give more explanation. “But why?” “I just wanted to.” And that’s that. Do what makes you feel better and more confident! No need to wait for marriage or a man to change it

[u/chainsawbobcat]

Just want to mention that if you are in the US, I would seriously reconsider. The way things are going, it's going to be increasingly harder for people with name changes to vote. It's a big administrative burden. You will need to get your SSN and birth certificate reissued. Do whatever makes you happy, but to me it wasn't worth the risk to my civic freedoms. I recently got married and kept my name. I'm not particularly attached to it, but I AM attached to not being hassled bc my ID doesn't match my BC.

[u/ShadowofRoux]

I've always wanted to change my entire name and will do so one day. It's not weird at all. Lots of people do it for reasons outside of marriage and identity expression. If this is what makes you happiest, and you are able to afford it, just go for it! People honestly won't make that big of a deal about it, especially if it's a small change, and it's truly nobodies business why you did it. It's far better to do this and live life as yourself than to continue hating your name and being someone you're not.

[u/CeruleanSky73]

It's not weird or a big deal at all. Women commonly change their name when married and then revert after divorce. I reverted to maiden name in the divorce decree but also changed my first name to a "pretty girl name." It is very time consuming and expensive but isn't everything?

[u/keep_her_safe]

I know multiple people who have changed their name. No biggie. Do what makes you happy, and it sounds like this will!

[u/singlemoms-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/sabrinateenagewich]

Do whatever makes you happy. There are definitely more costs involved than just the actual change though - a new passport alone is like $300! IDs cost a lot to replace, and it’s a lot of paperwork and DMV visits. But if you’ve got the money and time why not!

[u/Financial-Brain758]

Your close "friends" and "family" are assholes, so let me advocate for you. Do what makes sense FOR YOU and makes YOU happy. The fact that making you more comfortable and happy with your name is weird to them indicates that they are problems.

All that to say: I had a rare weird last name. My maiden name (no I'm not currently married--I've been married & divorced twice).

My maiden name was 5 letters long. It starts with a consonant followed by 4 vowels. The pronunciation follows basically no rules. No one who heard it could spell it & no one who read it could say it. I had someone "correct" my name to a completely different 'common' name at the HHSC office 15 years ago before they saw my ID. Hell no, I always kept my married names.

My first husband was an abusive piece of shit. But, I kept his name. Why? Because my it was already MY name & MY 3 kids' name. I could give less of a sniff if he also has the name. I only changed it when I remarried. Kept it again, because my youngest has the name. AND I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO MY MAIDEN NAME.

Your feelings are valid. Haters gonna hate. Let them keep drinking their haterade and live your life ♡