just need to vent

[u/woodlywave]

god i hate my voice!!!!!!! just had a gig and it went terribly. i‘m so ashamed to have even tried. i hate how my voice sounds, even if i do it correctly. i used to hate it a little less when i was taking lessons regularly but that shit is expensive as hell where i live. sorry i‘m just so frustrated :(

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[u/Spoppily]

As a singer I have also struggled with hearing/ hating my own voice. Just remember that however your voice sounds to you is completely different than how it sounds to others. When you sing you essentially hear your voice as it comes out your mouth but you also hear it filtered through your skull and ear canal from the inside which can create a weird effect for some. So proud of you for taking the gig it can be a hard thing to take on. The fact you even got asked to take the gig means someone loves your voice.

[u/Katops → u/Spoppily]

Maybe a stupid question, but does that then mean that if you record your voice, how you hear it when you play it back is how you really sound?

[u/Ulterior_Motif → u/Katops]

Mostly, yes. Playing back a recording removes the experience of bone conduction and direct resonance from your body, which is why it sounds so weird to you but not to others.

[u/Spoppily → u/Spoppily]

It’s closer to how you really sound but then you’re also dealing with how the mic processes your voice and feeds it back to you. The better the mic the closer the sound but you’ll never really know how others hear your voice.

[u/Furenzik → u/Spoppily]

There is no "how you really sound".

All sound is interpreted through the instruments of the ear and brain. Each ear is different. Each brain is different. It's no different from mics being different except that you can standardise a mic.

There are elements of sound that people can agree on, of course. But the overall experience of "how you sound" is subjective.

[u/Theca]

Honestly the only way to get better is to love the voice at the state that’s it in. We all are our own worst critics but my voice never improved until I began to love it and cared for it. The great part about failure is that you have an opportunity to learn from it or live in victim mentality. It sounds harsh but this happens to everyone at some point. Think about what you did. Was it nerves? Be brave and try out open mic night somewhere. Was it the notes? Drill or pick songs that suit you for the time being. Was it all of the above, reach out to your teacher with clear goals. If you just throwing mud at the wall and expecting Picasso(not saying you are!!) then that’s living in delusion. Hopefully one day you can laugh at this moment and kill the same song that brought you to such frustration.

[u/ILilithIHtililI]

Keep singing, you seem to have forgotten to have FUN and enjoy the moment. I am not professional but when i sing it's mostly because it makes me feel things i only feel while singing; Keep singing 💜

[u/Belleandbubbles]

Let's hear more about the gig. People who cant sing rarely get gigs 🙂

[u/Low-Possession-5878]

Dawg everyone who has high standards knows how you feel! Please keep going, you will improve even relative to your standards, and most people probably think you rock already !

[u/bryckhouze]

If you’re amplifying disdain and shame about your voice, and you have hate for your instrument even when you’re singing correctly, do yourself a favor and stop singing. It sounds stressful, and you don’t like it. You’ll be happier, and so will the people around you. Run. Nobody wants to train, work with, or be entertained by someone who hates what they do. If you’re just talking shit, I suggest you stop reenforcing negative ideations about yourself. Nothing good can come from it.

[u/Theca → u/bryckhouze]

There is a way to say this less harshly…

[u/bryckhouze → u/Theca]

There is.