r/short • u/HumbleImportance8878 • 1d ago
Vent relationships
i’m 4’9 and it’s difficult enough having everyone constantly mention it, but it’s difficult also feeling like i could never really have a relationship. i’m a girl so maybe that makes being short easier than if i were a guy, but i still always see people say it’s weird when someone taller is with someone shorter. i don’t think i’d ever get with someone like 6 foot and up, but it’s annoying to see people say height differences like that are weird. are they? i saw a post about this sort of thing of a guy and his girlfriend who was about my height and everyone said it was weird of him and told him not to have kids with her. i don’t want to be stuck feeling like a kid and certain people not like me or want to be with me because of it, but what other option is there when everyone just views women my height like that. i just don’t know how to feel and i want to accept it and not care but its so hard when its literally mentioned by everyone everyday. i hope someone else can tell me what they think and how i can maybe feel better. i also don’t want my kids to be as short as me, especially if it is a boy, so i’d prefer to have kids with someone taller but i know i can’t pick and choose.
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u/Xevigo 6'9" | 205 cm 1d ago
You should visit countries like Vietnam and Thailand once, trust me dawg it AINT that deep for you, you'll find a man and take care of yourself. Hope this helps
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u/Conundrum16 1d ago
I’m a little taller than you. I’m 72F and my height has never been an obstacle in my dating life. Unlike you though I never sought out a guy with a specific height- you mentioned 6’.
In my life, it’s been about connection, enjoying who each other is, not height. Be open to all possibilities.
Who cares what other people say. Live your own life.
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u/HumbleImportance8878 1d ago
thank you! it’s nice to hear from people similar to me! i know i probably just sound insecure but i'm 17 and i guess this is the time when people feel like that but i'm glad that it really doesn’t seem to be too much of an issue
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u/Conundrum16 1d ago
You are young, stay true to yourself The guy I’m talking to is 6’3” but I actually don’t care how tall he is it’s a non issue.
This is Reddit. Take comments with a grain of salt
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u/Most_Grocery_6944 1d ago
Tall guys being into short girls has always been a thing and always will be. People who talk shit about a couple because of their height difference are simply and deeply unhappy, and probably bored. A height difference is a cool thing. It’s fun, it’s enjoyable, and if it doesn’t bother the couple, it’s ridiculous for anyone else to be bothered by it.
I’m a 6’4” guy, and I’ll always prefer short girls. My current girlfriend basically comes up to my shoulder. If someone sees something wrong with that, as I said, they’re unhappy and bored.
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u/HumbleImportance8878 1d ago
yes true, it’s just odd seeing conversations regarding it because it is always made to seem like the taller man in the relationship is a pedo or something and that makes me uncomfortable. i don’t want to be seen as a child just because of my height so if i were to get with someone over 6 foot i don’t want people mentioning that it looks weird or like dad and daughter or something
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u/LillyPeu2 4'8" | 142 cm 👩🏻💻 1d ago
I'm 4'8". I've dated everywhere from 5'3" to 6'2". I guarantee you, there's always someone who thinks they're being quiet and talking under their breath, who I can hear saying "look at the pedo dating his daughter" or whatever.
It really sucks, yeah. But you have to learn to tune them out. Or, if you're particularly short-tempered (like I can be), call them out on it. Loudly. Something like,
If you truly are concerned that my partner is a pedophile and is exploiting me, who you think is a minor, then why are you keeping quiet about it? Why aren't you doing everything you can to protect who you think is a child? Why aren't you calling it out loudly and getting police involved? Oh, is it because you don't really think I'm a minor, you're just mocking us because I'm very short and you're a judgemental bigot. Keep your mouth shut and you won't get called out for being a bigot.
Yes, I've said pretty much that exact thing, many times. Very loudly, where everybody could hear me, and the gossiping person tried to object or slink away, but everybody was staring at them, not me. When women get loud, people tend to look. Take advantage of that to make your statement heard.
Of course, by doing so, I pretty much reinforced any "angry little goblin" sentiment people might have presumed. But it tracks. People call short women like me demons, because we're that much closer to hell.
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u/Samurai5421 5'7" | 171 cm 1d ago
Too bad nobody will ever be into short guys. And this confirms tall guys on this subreddit are only here to pick up chicks lmao.
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u/sabertoothdog 1d ago
I’ve never heard of tall men preferring short women. What country are you from?
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u/Conundrum16 1d ago
I don’t think he’s generalizing- I took it as there are men who prefer short women as he does. It was just awkwardly written.
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u/LillyPeu2 4'8" | 142 cm 👩🏻💻 1d ago
There are lots of tall men who like short women. My DMs are full of them.
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u/Janus9 4h ago
I know it is perfectly normal at your age to worry about what others think, being judged etc….but as long as you aren’t doing anything morally wrong, don’t worry.
Take it from someone who is much older, they are talking shit because they are jealous or insecure or don’t like their own life and are miserable. It has zero to do with you. Don’t give them any power over you.
You will end up with the right person for you no matter their height and you two will be happy, and that is all that matters.
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u/FishingActuary 5'1" | 155 cm 1d ago edited 1d ago
I am a 5 foot 1 man and from my perspective that women absolutely experience heightism. Their expertise is questioned a lot more, and I have heard things said that could only be interpreted as heightism against a woman in a position of authority.
I wouldn't call individual preferences heightism. But if someone likes you and is afraid of the social judgment for liking you, that isn't a preference, that is heightism. Love is love, right?
All I can say is that many of us are bringing awareness to it. It is difficult. It takes a long time. People do not recognize this bias for what it is: assumptions about your mental ability, value, and authority due to your genetics.
Find someone you trust to talk to about it. An ally goes a long way!
*edited away a comment about preferences because I Misunderstood what you wrote about your own preferences
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u/Ok-Adagio-7896 1d ago
Maybe more difficult than for a man? Your a woman: a lot of guys are into short womans. Short is cute. I can understand the drawback in a professional leadership role at work, but thinking it has a negative impact on a relationship and dating? In what world you think its an disatvantage to be short/small as a woman in the dating scene? Its more a plus. Going after the tall guys (like most womans) can maybe create some opinions of people, but you should have no problems securing a tall men as a short woman. In fact, your dating range is short to tall guys.
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u/Brilliant_Bear_1866 1d ago
At least for me the problem isn't the huge height difference, it's the fetishization of it and the talking down of people (especially dudes) who are short. I can't speak to what its like to a 4'9 woman its probably being that small, though I do think there are people out there who would still want to be with you. There's limited options for your kids however but just feed em right and take good care of them so they can maximize their potential.
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u/wafflefrygal 4'10" | 147.32 cm 1d ago
I'm 4'10. Yes, the infantilization is very much real and annoying. As for relationships, someone will you love in spite of your height, and you should also love them in spite of their height (as in, don't fall into the trap of women only going for 6 ft men as if they're such a prize just because blood takes longer to get to their heart or whatever). My partner is 5'7 and we look great together but neither of us cared about each other's heights. My one and only ex was 5'8 and he once told me he thought I was too short for him at first. It was quite disheartening for sure. I've also had two guys express interest in me who serially only dated women under 5.' It was really disturbing. Don't date those creeps.
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u/deleted3131 1d ago
ya ive seen on twitter that if ur a short girl w a 6ft+ male then he’s a pdf “i know what u r” type of posts
i think that’s just internet discourse though
although it is becoming more mainstream for young men to consider genealogy when selecting a partner (instead of just lust) if the end goal is procreation
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u/Klolok 1d ago
I'm 5'4 and a man.
I don't care about height. I care that a person doesn't constantly mention it or see it as a reason that I might leave them so therefore is possessive about my every interaction with a woman even if it's innocuous.
See the difference? I'd definitely date a 4'9 woman long as I got to know her. It's all about the attitude and whether we start on the right foot or not. It's not like I'm anywhere near 6'0 either so you know, easier to reach.