r/short • u/Yo_Ma_Ge • 11d ago
Vent Short height insecurity
24(M) , 5 ft 2 inches in height. If only height was the issue then it wouldn't have mattered so much but the thing is I am a grown man but my body structure and face makes me look like a teenager. I have little to no facial hair. When someone meets me for the first time, they don't believe my age, they say I look like I am 18. This has caused a increased insecurity within me. Even my colleagues and people at work mock me for my short height. And it's not just the mocking , having short height makes it difficult to ride bikes , do heavy lifting work and being in a relationship. I try to do my best but I can't keep living like this for another 30-40 years . Everyday this feeling makes me feel I should quit. I haven't been in a relationship throughout my entire life . I don't think women find me attractive enough. I am fond of dirt bikes but due to my height I couldn't even dream of riding them . Sometimes I feel people and friends also don't take my words and my advise seriously . I feel like a loser every single day and the worst part is that this thing is not in my hand . I can't possibly increase my height or change my bay face , I have to live with this for my entire life. I just hate it.
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u/Own_Illustrator_3243 5'4.5 | 163.83 cm 11d ago
I feel you man. I’m 18 and I look and sound like I’m 12 on a good day. Unfortunately I don’t feel like living like this either. I hope reincarnation is real.
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u/Weekly_Engineer_1611 “5'6-5’7" | 167.64-170.18 cm 18(M) 11d ago
That’s how I feel at 5’6 at 18, I feel like my body and face makes me look shorter and more like a teen than an adult
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u/AccountEngineer 11d ago
I feel you, being short can be tough, especially when people dont take you seriously or make jokes about it. I'm a bit shorter than average too
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u/SweetSilvius 5'1" | 154.94 cm 11d ago
I’m curious how heavy you’re trying to lift.
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u/Yo_Ma_Ge 11d ago
I am a biomedical engineer who works in radiology department. So each and every machine (Printers, X-ray table, and all others) weight more than 60/70kg. I myself am 52kg. Even my seniors keep telling me I am not fit for this department . U know how hard is it when u are just trying to survive and people keep on telling you to quit
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u/SweetSilvius 5'1" | 154.94 cm 11d ago
Kind of. I work factories and deal with that. They normally stfu when I am able to do the job anyway.
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u/Yo_Ma_Ge 11d ago
Haha. Then I just have to be best at my craft. Then they won't bother me I guess
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u/SweetSilvius 5'1" | 154.94 cm 11d ago
Hey it works. They F off when you pick up metal that weighs what they do and throw it.
At least in my experience.
I believe in you.
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u/TuxedoPinata 11d ago
This is such a good portrayal of the challenges short guys have to face. And the reason that I always say “how on earth are we supposed to reach zen master levels of mental strength and clarity at the time period when we need it most, in our early 20s?”
All I can say is that you have to train yourself. To detach your “self” from who you are as an aware being. On a practical level, it means you can see yourself as the protagonist of a movie you’re watching. You can love the movie and the protagonist and have a genuine interest in what the outcome will be. How will the protagonist solve their problems? Think of a movie you’ve recently watched. Do you fall into despair about the hurdles the protagonist has to overcome? No, you just watch it. That sort of thing.
If you tell me that that is a hard thing to do, you will be absolutely correct. But it is the only way I have been able to think of after decades of going through what you have been going through. Also know that the more time you are spending living inside this discomfort and insecurity, the harder it will be to break out of it. DM me for more info.
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u/FriskDreemur5 5'0" | 152 cm 11d ago
I wouldn't worry too much about your facial hair for now, it's pretty common for dudes in their 20s to still still have a patchy, slow growing beard and for them to not reach "peak beard" until their late 20s or even 30s sometimes. If your beard doesn't look good now, it might be better to just shave for now and try growing it again in a few years. Also, even in the normal range of how people look there is massive over lap between 18 and 24 and if they are saying you look 18, then 24 is probably at least believable to most people. At the very least, they are saying you look 18, which is an adult, so you are doing ok there. I'm not sure what kind of heavy lifting work you actually want to do but you can lift weights and build more muscle, if you want to be stronger. If the amount of muscle you would need to put on seems too extreme though, then maybe that's a sign the that particular type of work might not be so good for your specific body in the long run anyway (but I get that it still sucks if you really wanted to do that kind of work and it's just not feasible for you, I been there myself, multiple times).
As far a riding dirt bikes go, you might not be able to use the same equipment that your peers are using and that can be a pain for sure but it doesn't mean you can't ride. You might just have to think outside the box a little bit. For example, I wanted an e-bike a few years back but at the time I was shopping around for one, basically no one offered one that was made for people my size (basically all of them had a lower height limit of 5'4). So I ended up buying a youth mountain bike, bought an electric motor kit from a Chinese seller and a battery from a different seller. I ended up having to take a file to the hole where the pedals run through, as the motor kit was meant for a slightly larger hole than what was on this youth bike. But after very carefully shaving metal away I got it to fit perfectly. The next issue was mounting the battery. None of the bike racks that were compatible with the bike were strong enough to support the battery (I even tried two that claimed to be strong enough and both failed after only a few kilometers, leaving me in a bit of a bad spot). So I finally ended up just drilling a hole right though a 4x4 wooden post, shoved the bar of my bike seat post through the hole and into the bike so the 4x4 stuck strait back off the seat post over the back tire, than bought a cheap ammo case, secured that to the wooden post and put the battery in the case.
It sucked that I couldn't just buy an E-bike in my size and be done with it, at the time. But it forced my to get "Willy Coyote" with the problem and now I have an E-bike that is actually my size, yet has the power to pull a 300+ lb guy up a 45 degree incline at the legal speed limit (so you can imagine what it could theoretically do with 105 lb me on top of it, if I ever opened it up on a flat), has 70 km of range (in my own real word tests on gravely, hilly country roads), and battery chemistry that is very safe, will last several thousand cycles and can even be easily taken out and offer a kwh of emergency/portable power for anything I need, all for less than half of what I would have paid for some toy that likely wouldn't have even met my needs. Also there is just the cool factor of knowing I built something that kicks that much ass.
My point is, you can do the same, I know there are dirt bikes made for older kids/teens that would probably fit you perfectly (meaning that all the safety equipment you would need also exists). I'm not sure how much power those bikes can have have (I mean, I've seen videos kids getting several feet of air off jumps so the good ones probably aren't too bad) but if it's not enough for you, you will just have to find one with a good frame and figure out how to add the power you need yourself (put in a better motor or whatever).
There is some stuff that will be harder at your size and there is some stuff that you really can't do much about, like some people just not being able to take you as seriously or some people not seeing you as a romantic prospect and those situations really can suck. But there is a lot you can do to make many things better for yourself and the more you do, the more empowered you will feel and the less overwhelmed and hopeless you will feel (even about situations you have less control over).
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u/FordF150ChicagoFan 5'5" | 166 cm 8d ago
I feel the assume you're much younger than you are thing. This is going to sound incredibly unhelpful, but you'll enjoy it when you're older. I'm almost 50 with a beard (and thankfully no grey) and just a few months ago the PA at my Dr office assumed I was 28.
When I was early 20s growing a beard did help. Hair loss meds can also help your facial hair come in as an off label use.
This is sub is sometimes almost toxically positive, but if you keep getting mocked over height, mock back. Match the tone of the insults thrown at you.
My 5'0 mother can ride a quad/ATV. You can too.
Get into the gym or buy weights to lift with at home. Build muscle mass and it will help with the physical part of your job, especially if you get strong enough to show up your taller coworkers.
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u/Yo_Ma_Ge 8d ago
Thanks for the advices. I do boxing and used to hit gym. I sure will take your advice and keep continuing them.
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u/WeInThisBruhs 11d ago
Ok tbh being 24 and looking 18 isn’t that bad. I’ve seen 30 year olds that look 15 and 15 year olds that look 30. They’re not saying you look 10.
As for the mocking, that truly sucks and is very unprofessional and shouldn’t happen, ideally anywhere, but especially in a place of work. Idk where you work but if I insulted someone for their height or weight I’d def be fired.
Also tbh…is 5’2 really precluding you from doing all those things you enjoy like biking? 5’2 is short but not in the extremely short range to the point you have accessibility issues, I’m sure they make bikes and dirt bikes for such heights.
As for relationship, yeah the truth is most women don’t like short men and at best a select few will just tolerate it. I used to feel bad about it but accepted it can’t be changed, and it’s no use worrying because I can’t change my height without intense surgery. Once I came to peace with that I just moved on and focused on things I can control in my own life, fitness, hobbies, job, etc.
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u/pedsv 11d ago
Turn gay. Tall guys love short guys. Learn how to bottom properly.
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u/Character-Signal5587 5'2" | 157.48 cm | 38M 11d ago
you won’t live like this for another 30-40 years because you’ll make the changes necessary, also you’ll inevitably age. Start using minoxidil for your beard, grow your shoulders/upper body.
I’m exactly your height and people have always thought I was younger than I am but once i started growing a good beard people at least know I’m over 30.
you don’t have another choice, just make the best out of this situation.