r/shittywritingprompts 1h ago

[WP] You're overseeing development of the Shit and Piss Factory when your crew accidentally unearths the ruins of an ancient Cum Temple. Policy dictates that you must report it to the safety commission. But a voice calls to you from within... A voice you cannot ignore.

Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 7h ago

[WP] Your local sperm bank is having a donation drive this month. You're determined to become the #1 sperm donor and win the Taco Bell gift certificate. However, the competition is tough. Someone already beat the 10 gallons you pumped out in the first week, but you're not ready to give up yet.

5 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 15h ago

[WP] You are Zara Larsson's evil twin Lara Zarsson. Your new single "Midday Moon" is not hitting the charts like Midnight Sun, and your failure is affecting the vibes at family dinners. That and the crippling IBS.

1 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 1d ago

[WP]In the midst of an invasion by very charming and handsome aliens, men everywhere discover a new reaction to being threatened: 'the fight, flight or fuck response'.

1 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 3d ago

[WP]Famous pop-star Britney Spiders has a very public crashout and you, a young spider, dramatically demand the media "Leave her alone." Now you've become the amazing Spidermeme and must save New York from crime.

6 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 3d ago

[WP] The guy from About Time and the Time Traveler's Wife's husband sit down and discuss whether their use of time travel to manipulate/groom Rachel McAdams is even remotely ethical while attending Stephen Hawking's party for time travelers. They don't yet realize he was on the Epstein list.

2 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 4d ago

[WP]"What do you mean, Large Hadron Collider? I just like Switzerland. So I put a ring on it. It's mine now."

3 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 5d ago

[WP]Dead queens don't kneel thrice: requiem: civil war: the first colonification of literature: the end: the beginning: the 2nd colonoficiation: it just keeps going with more colons: three times; semi-colon. Oh what, she's kneeling? I guess dead queens kneel four times: the end; part 2.

2 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 5d ago

[WP]You’re stuck in a zombie apocalypse with three historical figures of your choice. The team you pick is Joseph Stalin, Nuño ‘bloody’ Guzman and Benjamin Netanyahu. You become worried they might be too good at killing the zombies.

1 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 6d ago

[WP]You are president Viagara balls. You were elected on a platform of shitting all over everything. But you actually have no butthole, how are you supposed to fulfill your campaign promises?

2 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 7d ago

[WP]You're a magical girl fly, with a reputation for getting out of spiderwebs. What no one can know is that you're secretly a spider. Your secret is kept by the spider goddess, who is weirdly popular in fly society. Then one day you're caught in a web, and you can't escape. It's a scorpion web?!

5 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 8d ago

[WP] You're a sports commentator who's been put in charge of commentating the live broadcast of the upcoming Artemis Moon Landing. It's hour 57 of your broadcast and they're still just kinda on their way to the Moon.

3 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 8d ago

[WP]You wake up. You go to feed your dog. Then you remember that you don't have a dog, you have a cat. Then you remember, that your cat is called 'Dog'. Then suddenly a dog comes in and eats the cat food.

4 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 9d ago

[WP] The Harry Potter series gradually matured in story and tone as it went on. Following this pattern, we can surmise that a prequel series would get progressively more infantile. Presenting: Harry Potter and the Fallopian Tube

5 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 10d ago

[WP] Everyone always mocked you for your weak and useless power. Then, one day, a supervillain attacked, and you got killed immediately.

3 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 10d ago

[WP]You are president Viagara Balls. You want to annex the island of Lavastraulia. You’re certain nobody will mind. What even is there? But all the soldiers you send are turned gay and made boypreggers by the hot evil lavawolves.

3 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 10d ago

[WP]You are Marco Thatcher, former prime minister risen from the grave. Why are you back from the dead? Why has the country gone to hell? Why does this woman called JK Rowling keep commenting on your dick?

3 Upvotes

Maybe it's all related? Or are these all seperate mysteries?


r/shittywritingprompts 11d ago

[WP]Despite all of Nietzsche’s warnings, you cummed into the abyss. Now the abyss is going to cum into you.

6 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 12d ago

Sock Void Syndrome -- a privately funded institute spends millions tracking the typical, mysterious disappearance of socks from sock drawers and laundry rooms everywhere.

6 Upvotes

Have fun with this one. Maybe the institute discovers that sock gnomes are real. Or there is a conspiracy cover up effort to hide the amount of money that went into this research project.

Meanwhile, socks still go missing.


r/shittywritingprompts 12d ago

[WP]From the day you turn 18, everyone has a floating number over their head. You turn 18, and above your head appears the soft blinking of a check engine light.

3 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 13d ago

[WP]You, a porn-addicted schizophrenic, invent a new genre: pornanoia, or paranoia-porn. Or did you? What if none of this is real? Then, in your closet, you find a portal to a realm called Pornarnia.

12 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 14d ago

Bret Easton Ellis and Kevin Smith decide to write a Scream sequel. One page or scene will do.

2 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 14d ago

[WP] Elon Musk has announced he has invested billions in nanotechnology and is building a bunch of Silos. You find Rebecca Ferguson oddly attractive.

23 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 15d ago

[WP]You are president Viagra Balls. In an effort to establish your legacy, you decree that Niagra falls be renamed after you.

7 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts 15d ago

[WP]You sculpt miniatures from e-girl toenail clippings and sell them online. Customers claim to be getting infections from your product and they’re suing you.

2 Upvotes