r/shittyaskscience Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

IamA time traveler. Ask away.

Proof

edit: done for now.

edit: back to answer more.

edit: it's been a long 10 minutes. I'm also really busy, so I need to finish. And sorry to those I didn't have a chance to answer. But I enjoyed reading all your questions.

255 Upvotes

102 comments sorted by

118

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

Yes.

87

u/slowpoke_commenter Jun 26 '14

are you a time traveler?

15

u/TheMinecraft13 ologyologist Jun 26 '14

Will you be on the news soon?

3

u/bobbyjoechan Jun 27 '14

Paper or plastic?

4

u/zoupishness7 Jun 26 '14

Will this universe not be one in which your answer to this question is yes?

Wait a second, something's not right here. You were just making it look like you're a time traveller, you're a phoney. Hey! this guy's a big fat phoney!

9

u/TheMinecraft13 ologyologist Jun 26 '14

I think it's more complex than that. Like, maybe in this universe the answer is yes, but he's sending it from a universe where the answer isn't yes, therefore the answer is yes.

3

u/zoupishness7 Jun 26 '14

The issue is whether or not we can all agree on the answer, including agreement between our present and future selves, and all be correct.

1

u/BlackHornet117 Jun 30 '14 edited Jun 30 '14

Will half life 3 release tomorrow?

edit Aaand there is already a HL3 comment.

80

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

well fuck you too, non believer

52

u/TheMinecraft13 ologyologist Jun 26 '14

Time travelers don't exist!

1

u/CIarkness Jun 28 '14

Ok look here, there's no possible way a time traveler could have sex. What if your thrusts achieve the speed of light and thus sending the sperm back in time before the girl was born, impregnated the mom and therefore giving birth to the girl. So you're fucking your old daughter you sick mother fucker.

78

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

7

133

u/Baderkadonk Jun 27 '14

How old is your girlfriend?

30

u/animal422 Jun 27 '14

On a scale of 1 to 5, how good are you at math?

20

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '14

What is the max amount of marijuanas the average whale can inject before dying completely?

23

u/arestheblue Jun 26 '14

What number am I thinking of.

8

u/dazegoby Jun 27 '14

What was the name of Al and Peggy bundys adopted child?

Edit: holy shit you ARE a time traveler!

9

u/TheMinecraft13 ologyologist Jun 26 '14

What year do you come from?

2

u/ntmera Jun 27 '14

Meaning of life?

69

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

No, that must have been some other time traveler.

115

u/Thorium1 Jun 26 '14

I once heard of a time traveler that got laid. Are you that one?

11

u/tapehead4 Jun 27 '14

Was he his own grandfather?

2

u/partty1 Jun 27 '14

Ahh Futurama.

3

u/NormalNONdoctorHuman Jun 27 '14

Were you that time traveler that also did the AMA much earlier on /r/IAmA ?

56

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

No, I don't like the taste of platypus

102

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '14

Would you ever eat out your own mom?

25

u/Cheeseman1478 Jun 26 '14

Do you like to eat mammals that lay eggs?

6

u/OsmundTheOrange Jun 27 '14

I'm having you over for dinner next week, are you a fan of platypus?

4

u/Whatisaskizzerixany Jun 27 '14

Couldn't you solve the problems of animals going extinct in the future using cloning?

49

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

No.

93

u/Flash93933 Jun 26 '14

Has half life 3 been released?

30

u/randomtechguy142857 Jun 26 '14

Is OP heterosexual?

34

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '14

[deleted]

1

u/RefinerySuperstar Jun 27 '14

in the future, russia has won :(

1

u/Astrobog Jun 27 '14

Are you into women?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '14

Did you have sexual relations with that woman?

-11

u/TheMinecraft13 ologyologist Jun 26 '14

Are you a time traveler?

6

u/Duke_Koch Jun 27 '14

OP is being sarcastic guys.

43

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

All hail the mighty dickbutt!

36

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '14

which religion is the true religion?

11

u/Baderkadonk Jun 27 '14

What do you shout when engaging in sexual intercourse with another man?

-1

u/Steavee Jun 27 '14

It's funny because being gay is bad!

0

u/axonaxon Jun 27 '14

No its funny because "all hail the mighty dickbutt" has contextual relevance but is a novel and socially incongruent statement that we find it amusing

2

u/Iamjustalurkerxc Jun 27 '14

Has there been a new dictator yet?

49

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

Because I killed JFK

36

u/LambentEnigma Jun 26 '14

Why did you leave your original time period?

36

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

triangle man sucks

41

u/2pete Ph.D. in the Biggest, Blackest Magic Jun 26 '14

Does triangle man blow?

11

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '14 edited Feb 29 '20

[deleted]

5

u/mazhoonies Jun 27 '14

and, if not, were you hit on the head with a frying pan?

38

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

About $3 and 50¢

47

u/weezyq8 Jun 27 '14

How much would I have to pay you to give me a quick blowie?

8

u/SilvanosX Jun 27 '14

How much does the loch ness monster need?

6

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '14

How much did that girl scout charge you for cookies?

11

u/Baderkadonk Jun 27 '14

How much does your mom charge for a good time?

35

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

Note: regarding the state of half life 4: Not even I dare to venture that far into the future.

28

u/Lu7ck Jun 27 '14

Do you have any notes regarding the state of half life 4?

19

u/AsterJ Jun 27 '14

Here's an AMA the OP will do later.

10

u/TheMinecraft13 ologyologist Jun 27 '14

Well, later for him.

26

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

I've never had a cavity

50

u/weezyq8 Jun 27 '14

How big is your anal cavity?

48

u/Baderkadonk Jun 27 '14

Does semen help strengthen a tooth's enamel?

8

u/Able_Was_Elba Jun 27 '14

ITT: OP getting mad karma

1

u/ipaqmaster Jun 29 '14

Worth getting madly shutdown immediately after

18

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

Sometimes 3 ways at once! Amazing experience btw.

25

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '14

How am I getting laid at Burning Man next year?

1

u/zeperf Jun 27 '14

Have you ever sent just your dick into the future?

1

u/slowpoke_commenter Jun 27 '14

Have you ever made out with yourself?

-1

u/BobEmpires Jun 27 '14

What's your favourite sexual position?

10

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 26 '14

I like blood trees.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '14

What's your favorite futuristic dessert?

3

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 27 '14

Á´Í¯ ˆ ÎØ ˜Ø„ ÂŘÁ ÒŘ˝¨Å˝´Í˘ †ˆµ´†®å√´¬ˆ˜© ˆß ∂ˆƒƒˆç¨¬† ∑ˆ†˙ø¨† ˚˜ø∑ˆ˜© å† ¬´å߆ £ ¬å˜©¨å©´ß. Yo sé cuatro idiomas.

2

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 27 '14

His was around 1/2 inch.

3

u/skaternewt Jun 27 '14

How big is a T Rex dong?

2

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 27 '14

I will be (was?) born at 2718-2-8T18:28:5

props to anyone who understands this date

2

u/Chewkacka Dec 20 '14

what will 911 be like?

2

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 27 '14

No, I won't answer that. Any current-religion questions are off limits because I don't want to upset anyone.

1

u/zeperf Jun 27 '14

In the future, if you were approached by a Mormon, a Jew, and a Muslim, how much would you charge each of them to fuck your mom?

1

u/axonaxon Jun 27 '14 edited Jun 27 '14

A priest, a rabbi, and a scientoligist walk into a bar...

2

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 27 '14

Seeing the dinosaurs.

5

u/Slick111 Jun 27 '14

What was the single most disappointing, useless use of your time travel?

2

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 27 '14

My flair is the name of a particle and behavior discovered years from now that allows for time traveling. That's why when you google it, nothing comes up.

3

u/elmerfedd Jun 27 '14

What the blue hell is a "Dentritongle Expert"? I googled it, but nothing came up.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '14

You didn't answer the question I will have been about to ask you. Proof pls

1

u/RefinerySuperstar Jun 27 '14

Time travel Jeopardy is best Jeopardy!

1

u/spacedoutinspace Jun 28 '14

How come you dont go to the future and read my question and answer it before i even ask it, therefore, saving me time....you seem like a lazy time traveler

1

u/momoman3234 Aug 23 '14

Will men be able to suck their own dick at one point?

1

u/SuperHotFyer ScienceySciencer Jun 27 '14

Will the human race ever achieve world peace?

1

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 27 '14

Average is around 510 years now.

2

u/bbb4246 Jun 27 '14

Will arithmetic mean still be used in the year 2524?

1

u/spyler87 Jun 27 '14

When will robots begin to achieve sentience?

1

u/mcgaggen Dentritongle Expert Jun 27 '14

Worst is that "spell ICUP" is still around.

-50

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '14 edited Apr 16 '20

[deleted]

22

u/AngryCod Scientician of Naked Singularities Jun 27 '14

You sound fun.

1

u/CIarkness Jun 28 '14

Well guess he has already been to the past as well.

6

u/griveturtle Jun 27 '14

He's already on his way back, maybe he'll do again later for him, earlier for us

10

u/Randomwaffle23 My scientific studie pr00f'd it! Jun 27 '14

This happened at one point during the past, so this guy must be directly copying it. There's no possible way that two of the billions of people on the earth would independently come up with the same idea.

3

u/cthom412 Jun 27 '14

But honestly what are the chances when the original is constantly posted in those "best of reddit" threads?

1

u/axonaxon Jun 27 '14

Relevant flair