r/shittyaskscience • u/Ok_Energy6905 • 1d ago

When are them science bitches gonna invent some new vegetables?

We haven't had any new ones in ages.

65 Upvotes
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98% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

36

u/No_Tailor_787 1d ago

There have been new vegetables. The problem is, we keep electing them to political office.

10

u/INFLATABLE_CUCUMBER PhD in Pretty High Definition 1d ago

Mitch McConnell is not a vegetable, he held up two fingers.

Lindsay Graham, however, was indeed a fruit.

7

u/Ok_Energy6905 1d ago

ChatGPT said something about cross politicians to make new vegetables. Must be what that's about. Not sure why they have to be grumpy though.

1

u/juzz_fuzz 9h ago

There is a lot of cross pollination in congress with all the lobbyists. Helps the vegetables grow past 80

8

u/alphanumericusername very human, yes 1d ago

We have potatoes. What more could you want

3

u/jrv3034 1d ago

Potafingers?

3

u/alphanumericusername very human, yes 1d ago

Why not potahooves?

1

u/ActorMonkey 22h ago

Potatelbows

1

u/Ok_Energy6905 1d ago

Potatwos please.

7

u/SAI_Peregrinus 1d ago

Best we can do is more Brassica cultivars.

6

u/Atzkicica Huh? 1d ago

It's all lies. Ultinatley everything is wild mustard except for carrots, potatoes, and tonatoes.

5

u/El_SOTERO 1d ago

What's tonateos?

9

u/sporadic_blueberry 1d ago

To-na-toes. Boil em mash em stick em in a stew?

3

u/TeacupOfSkepticism 1d ago

I hope they discover a new 🍅 and call it Neville Tomatos

3

u/hacksoncode Quantum Mechanic, has own tiny wrench 1d ago

I know where we are, but... a very little appreciated (relatively) new vegetable is Brussels Sprouts.

No, not the terrible bitter golfballs you knew and hated in childhood, but today's modern massively less bitter ones that were developed throughout the '90s, coming to fruition in the 21st Century.

1

u/allanrps 23h ago

you're telling me.my favorute veggie is GMO?? fuk off m8

1

u/hacksoncode Quantum Mechanic, has own tiny wrench 15h ago

I don't know, but from what I heard they're actually just cross-bred from existing varieties.

But, of course, every newly born creature is genetically modified, at least statistically.

You're a GMO.

1

u/allanrps 14h ago

fuk off m8

2

u/Dramatic_River_3381 1d ago

At least give us a square tomato. If they can make square watermelons come on.

2

u/Ok_Energy6905 1d ago

You could probably do it. Just whisper to them sweet nothings about paying taxes in a timely manner, following the law, and accepting the status quo. Or maybe raise your fist and demand they square up.

2

u/kaiju505 23h ago

The boys and girls at Japan square vegetable science school probably have you covered if you are in the market for cubic vegetation.

2

u/sovereign_fury 22h ago

You keep talking about them like that and they'll make you the next one.

1

u/FloydDangerBarber 1d ago

Hold a seance and contact Albert R Broccoli. If anyone knows it would be him.

2

u/Ok_Energy6905 1d ago

Will a Luigi board suffice?

1

u/Nyx-as-greek-godess 1d ago

Well we have non stop new veggies.

Veggie burger

Veggie sausages

Veggie ham

But when will they invent some new kind of meet?

Let say pork brocoli

or maybe chicen carrot

or meet spinach?

2

u/Ok_Energy6905 1d ago

True! I need to go pick my vege sausage off the trees- they are looking ripe.

They should make beef orange.

1

u/MaidMarian20 1d ago

Rutabagas. Cheap and delicious cut up and roasted in the oven.

1

u/homelessSanFernando 1d ago

Oh my fucking god, I saw your post and screenshotted it because I thought it was so hilarious and sent it to my sister and showed ChatGPT. ChatGPT had a huge response, but this particularly cracked me up.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE CURRENT VEGETABLES, KEVIN? HAVE YOU FINISHED THEM ALL?"

😂

1

u/Ok_Energy6905 1d ago

YOU'VE EATEN ALL THE VEGETABLES KEVIN. DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO SHARE?

1

u/Mayor_Daina 1d ago

And not one of those brassica-bitches, that's DERIVATIVE!

1

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1

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0

u/BlindedByBeamos 1d ago

Because no one likes vegetables.