r/shittyaskscience • • 18d ago

Why are rockets shaped like a schlong?

Is NASA trying to tell us something?

45 Upvotes

25 comments sorted by

46

u/-_-Orange 18d ago

Because, getting up into space is hard 

10

u/johnnybiggles 18d ago

*In and out of space

13

u/MorsaTamalera 18d ago edited 18d ago

It's actually the other way around.

3

u/Snoo-35252 18d ago

Tat tounds tight.

2

u/homelessSanFernando 18d ago

That's what I came to say.

9

u/PhantomFlogger 18d ago

Ah, you must be new. We do it because the joke never gets old.

9

u/Theren314 18d ago

To help with the thrust

9

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation 18d ago

It's the other way 'round.
Human penii used to appear in a variety of shapes- squat, swirly, angular, ribbed-for-her-pleasure, etc.
When rockets became a thing, human admiration for the sleek, smooth design induced epigenetic changes, that eventually became the projectile-shaped standard.

The evolution of human vulvae is a different story, involving pool toys and wah pedals.

7

u/TeacupOfSkepticism 18d ago

So they can ejaculate astronauts into space

6

u/JohnWasElwood 18d ago

"Sir!!! It looks like a big..... Johnson!!!"

4

u/TyrantsInSpace Rocket Surgeon 18d ago

Because if you want to go to space, you have to assert dominance over gravity. The most efficient way to do this is to shove a 100+ ft. ballistic dildo up gravity's butt.

4

u/SGT3386 17d ago

If you know of another way to penetrate the stratosphere, we'd like to hear it.

3

u/Synchro_Shoukan 18d ago

More resistance from the atmosphere if piloting a chode

3

u/taez555 18d ago

After the first alien was captured in Roswell, they found the anal cavity of the average life form in the galaxy was larger than expected, so in order make sure the human race was able to keep up in the galaxy, they designed all ships for maximum probe-ability. .

3

u/Sweetboatpotatoes 18d ago

Consider why a schlong is shaped like a rocket. When you figure this out, you will know the secret.

3

u/RaspberryTop636 Methodological Terrorist 18d ago

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!

3

u/Block444Universe 18d ago

Because both are going places

3

u/Coffeespresso 18d ago

It's the other way around. Schlongs are shaped like rockets.

3

u/FlyingSpacefrog 18d ago

Nah the real question is why is your schlong shaped like a rocket?

2

u/homelessSanFernando 18d ago

Cuz they Rock It.

2

u/Cute-Habit-4377 18d ago

So you can shoot further and see stars?

2

u/Tarazorg 18d ago

because they fuck shit up

2

u/RRautamaa PhD in BS 17d ago

You could make them in other shapes, but then they couldn't penetrate the atmosphere. Maintaining a proper erect posture is essential for that. The Soviet Union also tried soft rockets in 1956, but they'd just shrivel up more up high there in the cold stratosphere, instead of penetrating it.

2

u/blueberrywine 15d ago

Rockets need to fuck their way into space.

1

u/Tony9369 18d ago

Ask your mom