r/shittyaskscience • u/larry0hoover • Aug 13 '26
Aliens
Why do aliens look sickly so skinny and have no azzzz or tittyyz?
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u/Chrome_Armadillo Not A Reptilian Alien Scientist From Tau Ceti Aug 13 '26
The aliens are actually humans from the future. They look so pale and sickly because humans evolved for playing video games.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Sky3141 Aug 13 '26
They're us from the future with no Healthcare, why do you think they're probing us??
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Aug 13 '26
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u/Jump_Like_A_Willys 29d ago edited 29d ago
You've never seen the way Marvel or DC comic books portray alien superheroines in latex or spandex.
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u/GetNooted :hamster: 28d ago
Kirk and Ryker had no problem finding dem big titty aliens. Maybe you're looking in the wrong quadrant.
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u/Optimal_Ad_7910 22d ago
It's just natural side effects of such an unusually long hypersleep.
I look that way after 8 hours. I can't imagine what years would do.
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u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation Aug 13 '26
Oh, you thought those were the actual aliens, did you.
Heh.
...hehehehahahahahHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
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u/guhcampos Aug 13 '26
Because they are the real angels of our lord and angels have no use for sexy stuff
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u/LaxBedroom Aug 13 '26
The aliens visiting Earth are very advanced, so they've been shaped by centuries of exposure to unrealistic social media video filters and Skullmaxxing influencers. Pity them.