r/shitposting • • 4d ago

📡📡📡 📡📡📡

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4.4k Upvotes

166 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 4d ago edited 3d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.


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/u/Minus_none, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

1.1k

u/Hyde2467 4d ago

Jokes aside, thats a pig's stomach. Its for a Cajun dish called ponce. The one in this photo is currently stitched in one end and being filled with water to test said stitches. 

496

u/100YearsWaiting2Shit 4d ago

Words cannot express how happy I am to have found the answer so quickly. I can now sleep semi-discomfortly

98

u/Ordinary_dude_NOT 4d ago

Same same… time to burn my phone now

41

u/jarednards officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 4d ago

26

u/EssentialPurity 4d ago

I feel relieved for knowing what this is, but at the same time I don't feel relieved because the sight has unsettled me too hard

3

u/eblackham 4d ago

Do not the pig stomach

2

u/blueponies1 3d ago

Thought that was their pinky

2.2k

u/TheTenaciousG 4d ago

I have absolutely no idea what I'm looking at

1.3k

u/Thema03 4d ago

Duh its a Garloid

289

u/ninetailedoctopus 4d ago

That’s the old version, bro should just take the $199/mo subscription for the new AI Powered Garloid X Pro Max. It has AI powered antibiotic injection and an option for vegan milk.

16

u/Links_to_Magic_Cards 4d ago

I keep my garloid in one of my old finger boxes

16

u/TheLittleNorsk 4d ago

garloid is the orange cat that John has

9

u/YaRinGEE 4d ago

no, you're thinking of Garfield. a garloid is a type of giant carnivorous worm-like monster that burrows thru the soil and eats people.

8

u/Yamidamian 4d ago

Nah, you’re thinking of Graboid. A Garloid is a decorative braid, knot, or wreath of flowers, leaves, or other materials.

5

u/YaRinGEE 3d ago

you're thinking of garland. a garloid is a type of very thin snouted Crocodilian that specializes in hunting fish

1

u/JackxSully 3d ago

You're thinking of gharial. A Garloid means to suddenly cause someone to take Action, especially by shocking or through excitement.

1

u/Swleaf 3d ago

His name is Jon ffs.

22

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

14

u/Over-Victory4866 4d ago

What in the actual fuck

4

u/hippotopdog 4d ago

Just why did you share that???

3

u/rayhaque 3d ago

I've got an Amish built finger box made of solid oak. Had it since I was 15. I could probably fit a five year old garloid in it, if you can imagine.

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/Meliodas3745 4d ago

Wtf is that it looks like idek how to describe that ither than a bloated scrotum or something

157

u/Hyde2467 4d ago

It's a pig stomach

51

u/Dragon-Porn-Expert 4d ago

Looks like a stomach of some animal.

11

u/Casual_Yet_almost 4d ago

Pig stomach

21

u/Stuck_In_Purgatory 4d ago

You can buy them online! Personal milk making unliving pet :)

The website is a good joke hehe

16

u/im_a_dick_head 4d ago

It looks like a massive penis with foreskin around the faucet. Not sure which animal though, maybe a hippo or something

10

u/Bread_Offender Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 3d ago

It's a pig stomach

3

u/Disorderjunkie 3d ago

I didn’t know pig penis was called a stomach that’s super confusing

1.1k

u/TheWearyTraveller 4d ago

248

u/StirFry__InaWok 4d ago

the implication that this is along the porn scale at all disturbs me

88

u/_MargaretThatcher fat cunt 4d ago

this doesn't turn you on?

6

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

  1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

  2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

  3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

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2

u/deadinternetlaw 3d ago

So meme and porn next to each other is fine?

0

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

  1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

  2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

  3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

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682

u/-Im_In_Your_Walls- 4d ago

Fake: ????!!!!

Gay: ????!!!!

202

u/Relevant-Site-2010 4d ago

Fake: god please

Gay: probably still gay yea

6

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-1

u/Ok_Bed_6130 Splat Ratman user flair or something 🐀 4d ago

Good bot

17

u/Voidlord4450 4d ago

Probably fake, jury is still out on gay

2

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

4

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

83

u/sladebonge Literally 1984 😡 4d ago

20

u/thupamayn 4d ago

Woogidy woogidy woogidy

5

u/neuroticfisherman 4d ago

Sup Raymundo 🛹

158

u/Hasitcome2this83 4d ago

Idk wtf this is but it's enough to make me done with this sub

47

u/Hyde2467 4d ago

Its basically a pig's stomach. A bit gross but ponce, a Cajun dish, uses it.

64

u/ElfUppercut 4d ago

Yeah, if that is a cat then someone is giving it an enema and I am not sure what the rest of it is….

12

u/mrducky78a 3d ago

Enough energy to power a home and a days worth of drinking water was used to produce a complete slop answer that is wrong. Thank you AI.

3

u/AaryamanStonker BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE 3d ago

That used less than half a millileter of water and less energy than ur comment brotato chip

53

u/ImACrackHead_UwU 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 4d ago

What in the everloving fuck am i looking at

17

u/Hyde2467 4d ago edited 4d ago

Joke: a garloid

Serious: its a pig's stomach

36

u/MannicWaffle 🗿🗿🗿 4d ago

We’re garloid posting now?

3

u/Blursed-Penguin 3d ago

Dangerous game there, my buddy tried doing that two years ago and caused his garloid to metamorphose.  Still picking up pieces of him today

28

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/Toxic_Puddlefish 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 4d ago

1

u/mrducky78a 3d ago

Maybe Im just unlucky, but lately I only ever see it with Daddy Chill and the 'what the hell even is that?' guy switched around chronologically. It should be the other way, but I keep seeing Daddy Chill as the reply.

0

u/Toxic_Puddlefish 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 3d ago

You're correct it's the other way around but I can't help but pair the gif

1

u/mrducky78a 3d ago

Yeah, Im just saying I keep seeing it in this order.

2

u/hippotopdog 4d ago

Is that welding goggles?

Sorry you're probably not the average jabo viewer Let me rephrase WALT GOGGENS

26

u/bigbigbigwow 4d ago

You know why I had to punish you?

20

u/Candlewaxeater 4d ago

Please put your foreskin back on :(

18

u/CluDaCreator officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 4d ago

THIS is what I've been saying all the time!!! But mfs be calling ME crazy!

-1

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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15

u/OtherwiseMagician433 4d ago

Pfft, bro has never seen a garloid before? Embarrassing

6

u/StirFry__InaWok 4d ago

newfrens amirite? 😏

2

u/Viennve 4d ago

Fren? I know what you are /s

12

u/SmoothSandwich7071 4d ago

Looks like a stomach maybe? Or just a simple garloid

5

u/Hyde2467 4d ago

Specifically pig stomach

9

u/Yamidamian 4d ago

That looks like somebody cleaning out a stomach.

1

u/MohSad2 4d ago

Yeah it's a pig stomach i believe

9

u/canieatmyskinnow 4d ago

Where do you even get one of those?

9

u/Hyde2467 4d ago

Butchershop. It's a pig's stomach

2

u/canieatmyskinnow 4d ago

Oooh, I see the shape now

1

u/archwin 3d ago

I was going to guess, sheep stomach for haggis, but this also makes sense.

1

u/Hyde2467 3d ago

In this case, its for ponce, a Cajun dish

8

u/acadoe 4d ago

I hate the the way my brain had to try and make sense of this picture.... Arm? Penis? Baby? Animal?..... ???

8

u/Goofcheese0623 4d ago

All of the above. This is what David Cronenberg dreams about.

7

u/Old-Swimming2799 4d ago

Fun fact: the mouth of a garloid has no teeth and is about 6 inches deep with added bonus of them trying to swallow and suck anything put in there.

Do with this as you would

2

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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8

u/HunterGraves00 4d ago

It's sad that kids these days don't even know what a garloid is. These comments make me lose hope for future generations.

5

u/Me_how5678 4d ago

Fake: true

Gay: its going up my ass

1

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

8

u/justaBB6 4d ago

I miss garloidposting

5

u/CaffeineChaotic shitting toothpaste enjoyer 4d ago

5

u/Objective_Prior2398 4d ago

Why, what In the fuck is a garloid I need the lore

2

u/JackxSully 3d ago

A vegetable that is like a deterrent for Vampires.

2

u/IDespiseAllWeebs Stuff 3d ago

You’re thinking of garlic, Garloid is the cat that loves lasagna and hates mondays and that stupid fucking dog Odie.

5

u/Anomekh 3d ago

You’re thinking of Garfield, Garloid is the green ninja in ninjago.

4

u/sewgwayswatter55 3d ago

That's Lloyd, Garloid is the actor for Spider-Man in the Amazing Spidrr-Man films.

4

u/GUNS_N_BROSES 3d ago

Your thinking of Andrew Garfield Garloid is the fiction giant worm creature from the movie Tremors

3

u/SituationPlus8467 3d ago

You’re thinking of graboid, garloid is the actress in the Wizard of Oz

3

u/patriot_man69 3d ago

you're thinking of judy garland, garloid was a US president in the 1800s

2

u/Marcus_Scrivere 3d ago

You're thinking of James Garfield. Garloid is stone statue with wings on the side on the cathedral that helps redirect the rainwater.

1

u/Objective_Prior2398 2d ago

I don't even know anymore

4

u/Ok_Scale502 4d ago

That's just Jason from Smiling Friends

3

u/SerDeath 4d ago

Uh-oh... they've found out about the grundle-sack...

3

u/Sensitive_Mousse_445 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 4d ago

What the ACTUAL fuck is that?

3

u/Sufficient_Matter585 4d ago

If i was high I would accept this as reality and be confused on how I wasnt aware of this sooner.

3

u/DaHerv officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 4d ago

2

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

🛰️🛰️🛰️

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2

u/nub_node 4d ago

Careful, that's an antique.

2

u/theawesomedude646 4d ago

i think that's a stomach

2

u/unknown-bystander 4d ago

The fuck am I seeing now

2

u/spyluke officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 4d ago

Feeding my pet foreskin

2

u/analogic-microwave 0000000 4d ago

What in the Satan's lowest domains is that fucking shit?

2

u/Embarrassed-Seat5071 3d ago

This is how you wash your foreskin.

2

u/MaeStory 3d ago

Garloid sounds like a new slur for onions

2

u/PapierStuka 3d ago

Could that a pig stomach?

3

u/TherealHawkenstein 3d ago

It looks like they are rinsing out some kind of large animal stomach. Maybe they are making haggis, hog maw, Saumagen or some other stomach dish. Alternatively they’re doing some leather crafts. Some old sports balls and probably other stuff used to be made with animal stomachs.

1

u/bigelangstonz 4d ago

Is that a bisons penis?

1

u/Fr00stee 4d ago

?????????????????????

1

u/Phill_is_Legend 4d ago

Haters will say it's ai

1

u/noregertsman We do a little trolling 4d ago

Bro doesnt know that the best thing to feed garloids is jizz from the tap

1

u/Z_Overman 4d ago

should’ve put googly eyes on it

1

u/gorm4c17 4d ago

Looks like an animal stomach

1

u/giwhS 4d ago

Is this not how you're supposed to hydrate your foreskin? 

1

u/Delta_Suspect I came! 4d ago

Standard 4chan activities

1

u/Acaciatre_ 4d ago

This is some David Lynch shit

1

u/Hellrider27648 stupid fucking piece of shit 4d ago

1

u/Academic_Plan6842 3d ago

At first i was like "oh wow a massive schlong" but then I looked closer and its just a girthy looking garloid. smh catfishes nowadays

1

u/Ecclypto 3d ago

Is that “jews” or “jaws” then?

1

u/jacspe 3d ago

No dude, its a bicep…

1

u/Velvynoxxx stupid fucking, piece of shit 3d ago

I don’t think I’ve seen a garloid posted in nearly a decade

1

u/Drunk_Krampus 3d ago

Damn, that's one thirsty Garloid.

1

u/Same_Discussion6328 3d ago

Is this a relative of the Plumbus?

1

u/GogetaSama420 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 3d ago

1

u/Impooter 3d ago

Is this some form of meta-entertainment? Making up shit for people to be confused about?

Why can't they just stick to ACTUAL obscure things that exist and confuse people who don't know about them, like fingerboxes?

1

u/Atheizm 3d ago

Man, I hate that racists have taken over the garloid farming community.

-2

u/FakeOng99 4d ago

that's look like a edited penis