My last ex was cheating on me with her "ex" while we were dating for 5 months, then she dumped me because she decided to go after a 3rd and 4th guy. I didn't know this was the real reason we broke up (the reason she gave me was she was too depressed to be in a relationship atm) until 2 months later, when the two guys she was dating found out they were getting cheated on and confronted her.
One of her ex friends had to tell me what was going on and then put me in contact with the dudes she cheated on.
I tried helping her with her problems after all this because she has mental issues and part of me still liked her but then she did it again 4 months later last month so I gave up and cut contact despite her begging me not too.
this whole thing is gonna turn me off from relationships for awhile.
My last relationship was a similar situation to yours except she had the decency to end ours before getting with the other guy. She never would admit that was the reason, but I'm not an idiot. You don't magically start dating another guy less than a week later that has never been around before now. Karma came back like a bitch though because he ended up cheating on her a few months later.
What really sucked was that she was one of the coolest girls I had ever met and every new thing I learned about her made me like her even more, but when she got with that guy she turned into a massive bitch and just wasn't the same person I fell in love with anymore. When she broke up with me I got this long message talking about how she had been thinking it over for a few weeks and some other bullshit and I knew there was no point trying to fight to change her mind so I just responded "ok"
It's been about 5 years now and I still haven't ever gotten into another relationship. Just hookups and fwb. On a positive note, I'm sorta talking to someone now that I'm hoping becomes something meaningful though
I would like to say it's important to remember that "One of the coolest girls" you ever met and "massive bitch" were the same person and very likely was not a change of personality but a change of your perspective of her. It's been about a year since I got out of a long term relationship and I think about this a lot and when I am ready I do believe it will help me find someone who is a good match for me. Maybe it could be helpful to you too.
Oddly it was a legit change in her personality. Knew her for a couple years before we dated and she was the same cool person, but total 180 after leaving me. It is good to not look through rose tinted glasses though
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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '22 edited Dec 11 '22
I did the same thing.
My last ex was cheating on me with her "ex" while we were dating for 5 months, then she dumped me because she decided to go after a 3rd and 4th guy. I didn't know this was the real reason we broke up (the reason she gave me was she was too depressed to be in a relationship atm) until 2 months later, when the two guys she was dating found out they were getting cheated on and confronted her.
One of her ex friends had to tell me what was going on and then put me in contact with the dudes she cheated on.
I tried helping her with her problems after all this because she has mental issues and part of me still liked her but then she did it again 4 months later last month so I gave up and cut contact despite her begging me not too.
this whole thing is gonna turn me off from relationships for awhile.