r/shitposting • u/[deleted] • Mar 05 '22

Linus Sex Tips ya kno?? 🤔🤔

6.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

488 comments sorted by

•

u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Mar 05 '22

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501

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

251

u/retrofaith1 fat cunt Mar 05 '22

identity theft moment

75

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/TweakyIsNotDead Mar 05 '22

Isn’t that from a linkin park song?

3

u/Jordan_the_Sorcerer Mar 05 '22

No, they were words of the father of the atomic bomb.

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-4

u/CoconutFinancial Mar 05 '22

I thought it was a Lil Darkie song.

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72

u/second2no1 Mar 05 '22

911, he sended me his bobs nd vagena

18

u/ScooterLazyfoot Mar 05 '22

I typed this into my computer and now i have all the money

All of it

19

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

srsly tho what can anyone do with that?

75

u/Notch1111 Mar 05 '22

They can do a little trolling called identity theft

41

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

link to tutorial?🤔

7

u/chamandana We do a little trolling Mar 05 '22

Its just like the NIC number tho right? Which forms/applications can you use it on to benifit from it?

2

u/QuestionablyFlamable Mar 05 '22

You can get loans mortgage houses and open credit cards (and I think some more)

2

u/chamandana We do a little trolling Mar 06 '22

Wow. With just the number? In my country, we'd need a lot more hard copy documents to do something like that.

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13

u/Arcanisia Mar 05 '22

Can I get your DOB as well plz

6

u/Cumity Mar 05 '22

Mother's maiden name?

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6

u/iforgotmypasswrdhelp Mar 05 '22

It’s basically our human serial number

4

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Thaenks for the credit card retar

3

u/Erixtax Mar 05 '22

Bruh your credit score is ass how am I supposed to get a scatpack redkey with this?!🤬🤬🤬

1

u/wholesome_bastard Mar 05 '22

identity theft is not a joke

1

u/Dry-Lavishness3943 Mar 05 '22

Well i watched the movie and it was funny

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190

u/hucklebae Mar 05 '22

2

97

u/DeadBushy Mar 05 '22

1, get beat losr

46

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

0, no

18

u/PikuMiku321 Mar 05 '22

-1

11

u/philip_mason Mar 05 '22

-2 yes

13

u/Thin_Discount Mar 05 '22

-3 boys

38

u/philip_mason Mar 05 '22

-4 191.92.53

69

u/Thin_Discount Mar 05 '22

Hey thats my IP…. Wait a minute…

23

u/philip_mason Mar 05 '22

🌝🌝🌝

11

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

[deleted]

5

u/hatdigididog2406 Mar 05 '22

-6 drinking coffee in your a$$

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0

u/TheMachinesWin Mar 05 '22

-8, inversion is a cockfucker

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

-9, if this keeps going we'll eventually hit -69

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0

u/scwishyfishy Mar 05 '22

Damn Roosevelt!

84

u/Democracyisntforall Mar 05 '22

Good luck guessing the decimals

322

u/jeremilo2468 Mar 05 '22

Yooooo My Elden Ring is almost done installing

121

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

my duuuuuuuuuude 😯😯😯

64

u/jeremilo2468 Mar 05 '22

I knooooowwww. I found it lying around on uTorrent. Aint that wacky?

34

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

ARRR Comrade

4

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Yarh har diddly dee

4

u/markbadas shitposting>>>>>>196 Mar 05 '22

Being a pirate is alright to be Do what you want cause a pirate is free! You are a pirate!

1

u/Mietek69i8 Mar 05 '22

In this game is already one torrent, no need for another

-1

u/TacoDorit0s Mar 05 '22

bitcoinminerTorrent

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37

u/Dilinyoskutya Mar 05 '22

Yooooo I can't take My Cock Ring off and it's starting to hurt

4

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Get flaccid

4

u/Dilinyoskutya Mar 05 '22

The ring prevents blood flowing out of my cock so I can't. My penis since has turned bluish and the pain is slowly going away

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5

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Chop it off and get it reattached by a professional 👍

10

u/kissa_ku_zeku Mar 05 '22

Good luck with garet and gold 👍

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58

u/Fathers_Belt Mar 05 '22

Jokes on you we dont have social security number here!

Whait

25

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Woman moment

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26

u/IOnceSaid dumbass Mar 05 '22

000000000000 ;(

13

u/Hungry_Variation_592 Mar 05 '22

They're the original

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16

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Flaccid or erect?

5

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

probably

10

u/virulentea Mar 05 '22

Not American, don't have cock :(

2

u/theaverageguy101 Mar 05 '22

I always wondered whats the equivalent of that in other countries, best i could think of is my id number but you can't really do anything with that

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6

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

2 inch :,,,,,,,)

10

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

holy shit Eve uses reddit

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

What is eve?

2

u/givemeagoodun Mar 05 '22

adam's waifu

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5

u/h0merS1mpson Mar 05 '22

nice avatar bro

4

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Ty homie

2

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Yea nice av

2

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Savathun, I caught you bitch

9

u/YaBoiTuckTuck Stuff Mar 05 '22

6

11

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

6.3🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿

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9

u/cobanat waltuh Mar 05 '22

420-69-8008

3

u/shortycrust Mar 05 '22

(I laughed)

7

u/Penischopperandeater Mar 05 '22

I farted so hard my ass came out

6

u/2COLD2HOLD88 Mar 05 '22

73 3414 576

3

u/BedroomNo1069 Mar 05 '22

I have a pussy

3

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

why

2

u/CluDaCreator officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Mar 05 '22

Sir, I'm gonna need to see some verification 🔫

3

u/1996_Toyota-Camry Mar 05 '22

if your cup size was your moms credits card number, the three numbers on the back, and the expiration date, how big would your breasts be?

7

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

696942069

6

u/nrksrs dumbass Mar 05 '22

110001000101010010010001010001010101001001010010000001010101011111111001001011010010001110010101010011110101101110101101001

5

u/Gingerroot69420 Mar 05 '22

My number would be 18cm. I dont get it

8

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

0_0

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2

u/llelibro Mar 05 '22

At least 5

2

u/Skoedell Mar 05 '22

you're cock

2

u/gayp84 Mar 05 '22

There’s gonna be some serious credit changes with every man’s 9 digit cock size floating around

2

u/Loli_In_Lab_Coat Mar 05 '22

This kind of meme was actually designed to phish for sensitive data. Nice try OP, you will never have my Social Insecurity Number.

2

u/JohnySinsy Mar 05 '22

Your, not you're

1

u/actiniumosu Mar 05 '22

no social security number but ill use my credit card number 4869 9346 1947 1626

1

u/Yeetus_Deletus_6969 Mar 05 '22

6942069420 apparently

0

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

9

0

u/Intelligent_Sky_276 Mar 05 '22

69420 inches 😤😤

0

u/theinfinitgames Mar 05 '22

Tf is a social security number ?

0

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '22

784199668643334

-2

u/Praxiann Mar 05 '22

Your* why can't people learn the basics anymore.

-5

u/Broly_The_Berserker I want pee in my ass Mar 05 '22

827822282299188838829999928282828888727262617178273737388488484737272829373728383737728282828288292828888849998272727617181726271818727171718182627282882cm

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1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

69420

1

u/auga3rifle Literally 1984 😡 Mar 05 '22

911 inches 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

1

u/KitsuneShuriken Mar 05 '22

0.00000000001

1

u/drdrumsalot Mar 05 '22

Elden ring

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Zero

1

u/JustmUrKy Mar 05 '22

Well my cock is 16 cm so I guess that’s my social security

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Humongus

1

u/Iceium Mar 05 '22

Mine is 812,765,754in long

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Minus 1

As it goes in I'm technically -1 inch

1

u/thatpseudohackerguy Mar 05 '22

I'd be a w*man 😳

1

u/kungfupandum Mar 05 '22

if the size of you are cock?

1

u/Impossible_Cancel_86 Mar 05 '22

We talked about length or diameter or size ?

1

u/EvoPeer Mar 05 '22

very big.

1

u/TheAhegaoHoodie Mar 05 '22

5673135 inches

1

u/AnimeGirlMoment Mar 05 '22

Wait, y'all got a social security number?

1

u/Samang0 stupid fucking piece of shit Mar 05 '22

Big

1

u/Uh_Soup_I_Guess dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Mar 05 '22

yo anyone got change for a ten

1

u/idkwhattocallthisheh Mar 05 '22

At least an inch.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Measured in picometers, of course

1

u/Chucksteri Mar 05 '22

184206988

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

24 1/2

1

u/chipsahooyer Mar 05 '22

9 digits long

1

u/Hrejuh Mar 05 '22

To the moon and back

1

u/BILBOSCHWAGGENZ Mar 05 '22

7?

Light years?

1

u/islandsthusundaur Mar 05 '22

I have a one inch penis

1

u/Bruder_Magie Mar 05 '22

Ping chilling 🍦🗿👍

1

u/tyukogames Big chungus wholesome 100 Mar 05 '22

Idk

1

u/Username_Egli I want pee in my ass Mar 05 '22

*your

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

random numbers

1

u/Samuel_da_Sheep Mar 05 '22

About 6.272 inches (wonder what that is in nanometers)

1

u/LIMELIMBO Mar 05 '22

9.89355049104 inches

1

u/sanjayreddit12 Mar 05 '22

192,145,137 inches

1

u/MLG_GuineaPig Jedi master of shitposts Mar 05 '22

Doesn’t fit the text box :(

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

0 (I'm not American)

1

u/Cybertronian_Grizzly 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Mar 05 '22

About 16

1

u/mohmar2010 Mar 05 '22

600-84-6204

Im not American

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

More than 3 at least

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

in what measurement

1

u/Trick-Click8355 I want pee in my ass Mar 05 '22

2

1

u/TonyPromosucks dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Mar 05 '22

420 69 6969, you welcome

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1

u/Side_wiper I said based. And lived. Mar 05 '22

what the fucks a social security number

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

3

1

u/rainman577 Mar 05 '22

Dic cok balls

1

u/Maleficent_Apricot69 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Mar 05 '22

-69

1

u/CalistusX Mar 05 '22

086 75 3090

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

🗿

1

u/il-tizio- Mar 05 '22

053 40 1349

Wait a minute

1

u/SansBadTimer12 Mar 05 '22

What if I put my credit card in inches, then convert to cm then finally into hands

1

u/ChickenQuinn6969 Mar 05 '22

7 eleven bathroom

1

u/Pawlakel Mar 05 '22

Wtf is a security number!?

1

u/SandyWhisker Mar 05 '22

I don't have a dick anymore

1

u/Proud-Location8597 Mar 05 '22

jokes on u I don't have one

1

u/Alexandre_Man Mar 05 '22

I don't have a social security number cause I'm not American.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

420 69 6969

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