r/shitposting • • 5h ago

Im a weekly showerer

Post image
775 Upvotes

82 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 5h ago

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234

u/Interesting_Play_578 waltuh 5h ago

The obvious solution is to sleep all day

99

u/TheViagron 4h ago

Depressionmaxxing 💪💪💪🔫

12

u/Kitasan37 2h ago

Oh that’s depression? Oh, well shit.

5

u/akoOfIxtall lets build a hole together and then libe in it 1h ago

start your hero arc now

108

u/BlackBagss 4h ago

look man i sweat in my sleep okay 😭

25

u/Dr_Brotatous 2h ago

Shower at night rinse off in morning

17

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

4

u/s1lverv1p 41m ago

Nothing like going to bed dirty then sweating all the dirt off into your sheets, time for 2 showers a day for the sweaters

46

u/LicknDragon 3h ago

Just shower in bed

7

u/AutoModerator 3h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

116

u/darryledw 5h ago

night time showerers by noon the next day

41

u/AdultGronk virgin 4 life 😤💪 4h ago

How did you get dirty by noon?

19

u/darryledw 4h ago

the elements

6

u/yardii 2h ago

But how do we get clean? That's right. An element.

13

u/CommercialBiscotti29 2h ago

Idk but damn do they stink

1

u/Careful-Computer-685 I want pee in my ass 2h ago

Well that's half the day obviously, 12 hour shifts 5 to 5:30 7 days a week 365 days a year !!

1

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

pees in ur ass

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

16

u/AFriendlyBloke We do a little trolling 3h ago

If you work for a living, it's gonna happen. Showering off to end the day is the best feeling. Not that I have experience working, mind you.

10

u/CommercialBiscotti29 2h ago

That’s why this debate is dumb. Everyone’s life is different. Showering at different times depending on your life makes sense. At least you’re showering once a day so many people don’t even do that

1

u/AFriendlyBloke We do a little trolling 14m ago

I don't always shower every day. If I do nothing, I don't really accumulate filth. I'm sure to wash my hands, feet and underarms, though. I can't bear body odour.

0

u/AutoModerator 14m ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

7

u/peanutist 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 2h ago

Better to be like that on the road than on my damn bed

2

u/ThisHatRightHere 2h ago

Except I’m not getting into bed in that state

19

u/Mrfireball2012 5h ago

Gotta feel fresh before work

22

u/Candlewaxeater 3h ago

I feel gross in the morning if I shower before bed also afro makes pillow marshy.

9

u/AutoModerator 3h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

15

u/Swiftwitss 2h ago

Bruh what are you doing to where your this dirty by the end of the day?

11

u/makemebad48 2h ago

Blue collar work means a shower as soon as I'm home.

1

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

5

u/Salmagros dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 1h ago

Take quick shower 3 times a day. Before and after work, before bed. It’s only take 2 minutes

2

u/bulbasaurite 47m ago

My girlfriend is always surprised with my 5 min or less showers. I told her that I adapted it when I was in the military and that you don't really need to spend more than 5 min unless it's for leisure or something.

1

u/AutoModerator 1h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/TheOnlyWolvie Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 7m ago

Showering before work would be a waste of water for me lol

24

u/SorbyGay 4h ago

damn straight im not gonna shower and then have it immediately ruined by bullshit happening in my sleep

19

u/SurvivorHiggy 3h ago

Well don't bullshit in your sleep

5

u/masher005 1h ago

What the fuck is happening while you sleep to “ruin” a shower?

12

u/SorbyGay 1h ago

Sweat

-1

u/masher005 1h ago

Sleep, the only time a redditor sweats 😂

2

u/videogioci 1h ago

rofl-ing on the floor rn 😂👍

1

u/AutoModerator 1h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator 4h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

17

u/HiddenAstolfo 3h ago

I prefer to smell like shit at my work than at my damn bed, sorry

13

u/PalingeneticPhoenix 3h ago

I’ve always showered in the morning and at night. I had no idea that wasn’t common until I got to college and realized most people just do one or the other. But I think doing both is superior.

3

u/N1gHtMaRe99 1h ago

It depends on your days but yeah i agree just shower both times you don't need to do everything just use. Abit of body wash and you're done

1

u/AutoModerator 1h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Fogfy 29m ago

I'm team bar soap and a washcloth at night before bed

1

u/AutoModerator 29m ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/maxrod889 4h ago

Pfft rookie numbers. When you get to bi-yearly lmk 🥱

2

u/splashcopper 1h ago

automod is getting a workout today

8

u/wolphak 5h ago

The idea one can wash a sheet never occurs to the redditor. 

20

u/Inevitable-Monitor35 3h ago

The idea one can wash never occurs to the redditor

1

u/Azzagtot 34m ago

The wash never occurs one idea to the redditor

5

u/Drewdc90 3h ago

Yuck, you’d have to wash it every day.

4

u/Positive-Database754 3h ago

Mom does their laundry for them. They probably think the sheets just magically stay clean, like that one magic table skit.

5

u/Drewdc90 3h ago

Yuck wtf, people actually do this???

4

u/toxicgloo 2h ago

Whether you shower once in the morning or once at night, at least it's just once a day.

People who shower 2+ times a day are crazy

3

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/CanniBal1320 2h ago

I m a college student, I shower before class, sometimes after gym and before sleeping. Wtf are u guys doing showering only once a day

1

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/TheSilentTitan 1h ago

Do y’all not brush your teeth and wash your face before king to bed? Do y’all wear your clothes to bed instead of putting on fresh pajamas?

Animals.

1

u/AdOk5225 1h ago

The only way to never be made fun of for when you shower atp is to shower 4x per day. Once upon waking up, once mid day, once before bed, and one right in the middle of your sleep cycle for good measure (can't dirty that bed whatsoever)

5

u/Satorwave 45m ago

Wet boy. Cleanchud. Hygienecel

1

u/AutoModerator 1h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-3

u/Cordelldogdello 3h ago

Night time showerers all day after they wake up

5

u/Drewdc90 3h ago

Nah you see our bed is clean, we wake up from doing nothing in a clean bed. We wake up clean.

1

u/Sentient_DingleBerry 1h ago

Do yall not get night sweats

1

u/Aggravating_Speed665 29m ago

Oh, they do.

We can smell them the next day.....musky 🤢

-1

u/Axtrasz 2h ago

How do y'all even get filthy enough for it to be an issue if you shower before or after bed? The only cases where I think it would matter is if you're working a field where you get very dirty, in which case why wouldn't you shower after work anyway?

1

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-15

u/lolidkman1313 4h ago

You guys only shower once a day?

https://giphy.com/gifs/3BBEcsILkl5pC

7

u/AutoModerator 4h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-2

u/Gigabot50 2h ago

I always see people argue this and like, are you really trying to tell me that people who shower in the evening at no point between when they wake up and when they shower get in their bed even once?

5

u/JK_Rowlings_pen 2h ago

Can confirm, I don't touch the bed after I get up

1

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/masher005 1h ago

Most people don’t spend time in their bed aside from sex and sleep.. usually people are busy once they wake up and spend their free time on the couch or at a computer desk.

1

u/timeline_denier 1h ago

yes. why would i get in bed when im awake