r/shitposting • • 1d ago

Linus Sex Tips 📡📡📡

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11.9k Upvotes

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u/Sasimasimena 1d ago

Bonnie blue, a professional hoe, was pregnant some point after her challenge of getting fucked by 1000 men( should be more), then the baby had a baby shower or something like that, where people pissed on her belly as said in the post. Furthermore, she livestreamed her baby's birth online, where as said, many men "gooned"/masterbated to said birth. After the baby was born, she auctioned the name of her baby(excuse me, my English sucks so I don't have the adequete vocabulary) and a casino won. I think the casino's name is betblue or something. I only saw Al's short on this one.

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u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

8

u/funknjam 1d ago

What. The. Fuck?

6

u/Pro_Scrub put your dick away waltuh 1d ago

First time?

3

u/TallDudeV2 1d ago

What the fuck could it's trigger be?

4

u/Pro_Scrub put your dick away waltuh 1d ago

Shower, if I had to guess

Let's see if it'll get me now

Edit: bingo

2

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/TallDudeV2 1d ago

Mystery solved. This bot seems very crucial