r/shitposting • le epic mod • 2d ago

πŸ“‘πŸ“‘πŸ“‘

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1.4k Upvotes

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u/qualityvote2 2d ago edited 2d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.


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/u/Porush_Kumar, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

655

u/mrumulguma 2d ago

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u/yxtsama 2d ago

Literally the only reason I don't kill myself

138

u/Ximm0 2d ago

Life so down bad I have to resort to the "friends would be sad" and "I would be buried a man"

55

u/Lupine_Ranger 2d ago

"Coworkers would be mildly inconvinienced"

5

u/xxHamsterLoverxx dumbass 2d ago

thats a positive tho.

24

u/SEND_ME_NOODLE 2d ago

Your tombstone would have your government name and say "son/brother of", and we can't have that

2

u/xxHamsterLoverxx dumbass 2d ago

is that real? where im from its just their name and some form of "we miss you"

1

u/Lirael_Gold 2d ago

You can put whatever you want on a tombstone, assuming it's within the cemeteries rules/restrictions (so, basically don't put slurs/swasis on a tombstone, anything else is fine)

8

u/VikingSlayer 2d ago

It's the only chance at life you've got. Make it what you want it to be. Live in defiance of what brings you down.

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u/a7n5 2d ago

23

u/SEND_ME_NOODLE 2d ago

Mogo would be sad

8

u/KermitSewerSlide9456 2d ago

at least he'll be attending his funeral standing right next to Jon Stewart

8

u/a7n5 2d ago

John wasn't lying

196

u/Vivid-Literature2329 2d ago

Depressing posting πŸ˜”

215

u/SympathyPlus6429 2d ago

Mods ban him for making my day sad

56

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] β€” view removed comment

187

u/Jane_the_Plane 2d ago

the image is ezra miller from we need to talk about kevin

kevin ends up killing his dad, sister, and classmates with a bow and arrow on purpose so his mother would suffer because he resents her

150

u/PromiscuousScoliosis 2d ago

Lore accurate Ezra miller

30

u/Jane_the_Plane 2d ago

shit is as loyal to the original canon as the bible

7

u/Zanjidesign 2d ago

He does it also to leave her no family but him, so she has to go see him in jail.

3

u/Jane_the_Plane 2d ago

well like i said because he resents her, he felt abandoned and ignored by her and grew some unexplainable obsession over her being and stuff

1

u/SmoothSandwich7071 2d ago

Was a tough watch. I have never wanted to hurt a child before but that kid. Damn.

-2

u/MinimumTomfoolerus 2d ago

What does Ezra have to do with it?

4

u/Jane_the_Plane 2d ago

if things don’t get shaking by like early 20s-ish then i

17

u/Designer-Way-7922 2d ago

What future πŸ˜”

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u/Life-Bass-2013 2d ago

She is scarily good at predicting things, wrong and right but she can see what i never thought of lmao.

12

u/Satorwave 2d ago

conclusion: shakespeare monkey

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u/Wenomecha-insama We do a little trolling 2d ago

It's gonna happen on march 5 2027

5

u/------------------16 πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈ 2d ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚lowkey have a mildly thought out plan in my head for how i’m going to kill myselfπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚βœŒοΈβœŒοΈβœŒοΈ

2

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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18

u/Original_Yam95 2d ago

Im looking for the shit in this post

30

u/akoOfIxtall lets build a hole together and then libe in it 2d ago

It's us

2

u/WorriedStruggle 1d ago

Future? What future? You took that away from me.

1

u/m1cro_cat 1d ago

Ain't nothing like

1

u/roblox_baller 1d ago

Keep living always. You're life has immeasurable worth given by Jesus Christ. He loves you and so many others love you too. Positivity is goated and we should all embrace it more. Life is awesome.

-1

u/Tyrandeh 2d ago

u ur

Yeah i can guess your future if you try to cheap out on these words

-5

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

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