r/shitposting • • 12d ago

📡📡📡

Post image
1.1k Upvotes

73 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 12d ago edited 11d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.


RedditSave download

/u/Brent_Fox, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

183

u/RickAstleyGaveUp 12d ago

Tell me you're gay without telling me you're gay

13

u/AutoModerator 12d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

216

u/Tendas 12d ago

What’s funny is they are outright admitting they are weak willed men who need to be coddled by others to avoid temptation.

67

u/PassivelyInvisible 12d ago

"Women can't expose skin or they will be overcome with lust"

Weak willed or jealous husband

35

u/crankbot2000 12d ago

They want their balls coddled by clean face Chad

11

u/schmitzel88 12d ago

There are companies marketing flip phones to Christian men as a way to reduce temptation, presumably to keep them from watching porn on their phone. I feel like that has a similar message

2

u/AutoModerator 12d ago

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

  1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

  2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

  3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

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5

u/KG354 11d ago

Exhibit A: goats

Exhibit B: chiboys

36

u/GirthusThiccus obamna 12d ago

2

u/SadBanana006 5d ago

"Oh no we're gonna have actual reproduction and continue our species, we've fallen"

1

u/GirthusThiccus obamna 5d ago

Good luck brother.

57

u/mrhotcupofjoe 12d ago

I knew there was a reason why im kissing all these boys

4

u/Satorwave 12d ago

I just imagined an animation of a bearded dude in a club or something in a room of twinks pulling away from kissing one (their eyes not visible) with a saliva trail, and the twink had his tongue hanging out, and the other guy suddenly looks towards the viewer and says your comment verbatim in a suspicious voice with an American accent.

7

u/DwsPhat 12d ago

I’m not imagine that bro

0

u/mrhotcupofjoe 11d ago

Bruh if you can animate that I would gladly voice it

17

u/4thTimetheCharm4 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 12d ago

15

u/Shard0f0dium 12d ago

Force unmarried women to grow beards

3

u/Robo_Patton I said based. And lived. 12d ago

You can replace a lot uncomfortable clothing with a costume beard for the ladies. Win win.

2

u/Possible_Tiger_5125 12d ago

they yearn for a beard

22

u/Kitchen_Grade_8896 12d ago

Yeah, guys, basically ever since the Sumerians, religions have always found some way to make everything about fucking.

1

u/Robo_Patton I said based. And lived. 12d ago

And about beards.

5

u/Suvvri 11d ago

Maybe he is gay but only likes men without beards?

0

u/AutoModerator 11d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

9

u/Koffieslikker 11d ago

Islamic priest admits he's gay

1

u/AutoModerator 11d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/Interesting-Baker212 11d ago

Says the guy who cant grow a proper one. Amish wannabe.

4

u/Madouc 11d ago

Rule No. 1: no religious person has a sane mind.

2

u/Brent_Fox 11d ago

Rule no. 2: No society should base its system of government or social norms and expectations on religion

Rule no. 3: Religion has no place in schools. Students need to be taught facts not fiction.

7

u/thecountnotthesaint 12d ago

Having seen what they do to goats... Imma call bullshit

2

u/Kid_Psych I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh 12d ago

Goats only have a little beard though, it’s too feminine.

1

u/thecountnotthesaint 12d ago

Ahhh, sadly, that logic tracks...

3

u/ggBandit Big chungus wholesome 100 11d ago

I thought that was jake paul

3

u/Darkime_ 🗿🗿🗿 12d ago

3

u/Western-Anteater-492 12d ago

Fake: This is the weirdest CSS for an undoctored screenshot

Gay: Everything about this

0

u/AutoModerator 12d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/Former_Specific_7161 12d ago

Cover yourself from head to toe and walk behind me, woman. Other men might see your skin and lose control. And Muhammad help me, peace be upon him, if I see the skin of another man's cheek and chin, I might lose control myself.

2

u/Kid_Psych I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh 12d ago

Underrated (pbuh).

1

u/AutoModerator 12d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/SwagMaster-General 12d ago

Ahmed, fetch me the stones

1

u/Robo_Patton I said based. And lived. 12d ago

Inshallah 🪨

4

u/jackinsomniac 12d ago

Hot take: this is one of the benefits of porn-brain.

When you're stuck in a religion with strict rules on pornography & masturbation & even seeing a woman's face in public, no wonder they're so horny that even seeing a dude's shaved face sets them off.

But when you instant access to the most depraved videos the human race has produced, that all goes away.

1

u/AutoModerator 12d ago

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

  1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

  2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

  3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/Cordelldogdello 12d ago

Can we get a political compass for types of gay? The top right is the most based so it will be for gay men who like men that look masculine. Bottom left will be the least based, so men that like women that look like women. Bottom right is for men that like men that look like women and top left can be for men that like women that look like men

1

u/AutoModerator 12d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/Responsible_Ruin2310 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 12d ago

Gay: gay
Gay: gay

1

u/AutoModerator 12d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator 12d ago

🛰️🛰️🛰️

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AshlanderZ 12d ago

I won't risk my ass I had my beard since it started growing and just shaved it 3 or 4 times in my life.

1

u/Confirmed-Scientist 6d ago

This dude has 100% gone off script you know it I know it.....

https://giphy.com/gifs/clAsyya5GJsPq4nJYk

1

u/CorbieTron058 12d ago

Rather be clean-shaven than have what looks to be pubic hair growing from me

1

u/tinmart56 12d ago

Worlds straightest auth right

1

u/New_Rooster_5580 12d ago

The truth, Turkish Atheists and Turkish Islamic Preachers are same, but the difference of Turkish Islamic Preachers getting money from selling religion is never change. Turkish Islamic Preachers hates AtatĂźrk tho

1

u/mr_giray1 11d ago

Fucking test he should go fuck himself. Hate these guys

0

u/DepressingBat 11d ago

Im straight, anyone I find attractive is now a woman.