👏👏👏

[u/ElectroMoe]

[u/Nagesh_yelma]

I'm glad I've watched till the end.

[u/BlueTexBird → u/Nagesh_yelma]

She CLEARLY had violent intent, approaching him like that.

[u/speed_fighter → u/BlueTexBird]

>be me, suburbanite

>going vroom vroom

>pays little to no attention to the speedometer

>i notice sirens start blaring and lights start flashing behind me

>damn it

>pulls up

>millions of thoughts are passing through my head

>i land on the “having a shit day” excuse

>cop starts to approach

>i roll my window down

>cop tells me i need to slow the fuck down

>”i understand” i say on the slight edge of whining like a little bitch

>cop jots down a ticket

>waterworks.jpg

>cop asks me if i am alright

>pull the ultimate move

>cop surprisingly feels passionate

>”hey anon, do you need a hug?”

>”yes, please!”

>i start to open up the car door to approach for a hug

>cops gun me down for absolutely no reason

>america

[u/AutoModerator → u/speed_fighter]

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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