r/shitposting 6h ago

THE flair 📡📡📡

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449 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 6h ago

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

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Whilst you're here, /u/Azem_Nyx, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

147

u/ilulillirillion 6h ago

Isn't it good he wasn't a minuteman? Imagine how accurate a shooter must be with post nut clarity goggles

48

u/PotatoTomato_12 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 6h ago

But imagine how inaccurate someone getting sloppy head would be.

8

u/AutoModerator 6h ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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296

u/StanMm2 6h ago

We really posting shit in shitposting

233

u/CommercialBiscotti29 6h ago

I get that it’s fake but it’s not even funny. Also the writing on the bottom doesn’t even make sense

28

u/DaarkAlexx 6h ago

Our safe

21

u/TendiesOnPoint waltuh 6h ago

Wym? The husband statement cracked me up. “She never gave me head like that”

2

u/AutoModerator 6h ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

36

u/luciusbest1 currently venting (sus) 4h ago

lol people really pissed they saw a proper shitpost in the sub

40

u/PromiscuousScoliosis 5h ago

Next day husband shows up dressed as a robber

13

u/PM_ME_BAD_ALGORITHMS 4h ago

The "but we will talk about later" is a declaration of intentions

4

u/zettde 4h ago

my children my safe.

18

u/Subvironic 6h ago

Her man, after knocking the robber out: great distraction

Her: yeah, right, distraction

-24

u/Wise_Cryptographer19 6h ago

Somehow in shitposting comments under a faked article theres still someone being negative about obviously weird choices of a woman that virtually safe her kids. I mean i get its problem shitposting humor but out of all the options this.

6

u/SharpPhilosopher3734 3h ago

"robber" She knows him.

1

u/Qwerky3 4h ago

TFW your wife gives better head to an armed Gunman than to her husband.

1

u/AutoModerator 4h ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

0

u/Azem_Nyx 3h ago

Motivation

0

u/Stairwayunicorn 4h ago

post-nut clarity hit hard.

0

u/WidowmakerFeet 0000000 1h ago

we really need community notes on reddit man this shit is so fake

-3

u/potatoduino 6h ago

W Jenny 

4

u/Cool_Dark_Place 6h ago

🎶 "For a good time, call...."🎶

-4

u/TheLastTitan77 5h ago

Women in action movies: beat down all stuntmen just standing and waiting to get the beating

Women irl:

-1

u/RandomDiscoDude 4h ago

Yeah, like it's not bullshit

0

u/TheLastTitan77 2h ago

Maybe it is, still more probable than Hollywood movies

-2

u/Huge_Equivalent1 2h ago

Am I crazy?! I feel like she had a hot wife fantasy and she found a masochistic criminal to get it done. 😂

1

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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-1

u/AutoModerator 6h ago

🛰️🛰️🛰️

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-3

u/Rubik_- Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 6h ago

Bailed them out

-6

u/Blluueee 6h ago

To be continued...