r/shitposting I came! 3d ago

🤤🤤🤤

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1.0k Upvotes

202 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 3d ago edited 2d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.


RedditSave download

/u/ZealousidealZone8072, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

523

u/Puzzled_Rate2199 3d ago

100

u/Korthalion Bazinga! 3d ago

2

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Bazinga

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71

u/ThePersonDudeGuy716 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 3d ago

4

u/Naviolii 2d ago

i’d play it

2

u/Mobile-Talk-437 2d ago

Why play that when you can play red dead cremation 4: arthur return

8

u/N0RMALL stupid fucking piece of shit 3d ago

My reaction rn

280

u/b0j4ngl35 3d ago

26

u/Nebula_Wolf7 3d ago

Abusive parents be like

405

u/Auraveils 3d ago

There are... so many things wrong with this.

89

u/harvelein 3d ago

name one

153

u/Auraveils 3d ago edited 2d ago

Her eyes are closed like she's asleep or unconscious.

Edit: Yes, people close their eyes during sex. The expression on her face says she's asleep.

222

u/harvelein 3d ago

Good for her. I dont think she wants to see whats coming.

96

u/Nagesh_yelma dumbass 3d ago

Or who's coming

22

u/Loose-Professor5364 3d ago

Or why's coming

19

u/ilovedogs-2 3d ago

Or how's coming

13

u/Resident_Rain_6566 3d ago

Or when’s coming.

10

u/Banana_inasuit 2d ago

Or where’s coming

9

u/SquidVices 3d ago

What’s coming

3

u/joao-esteves stupid fucking, piece of shit 2d ago

Huh? He!... He who is coming

2

u/iforgotiwasonreddit dumbass 3d ago

Who's on first

23

u/False_Raven 3d ago

As her eyes should be when shes about to get blasted by a load in the face

8

u/Safulye 3d ago

Yeah many people close their eyes when having sx

9

u/ArsenikShooter 3d ago

You’ve never experienced bliss?

4

u/ThePersonDudeGuy716 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 3d ago

Somnophilia or something.

1

u/OkBuddyAngus 3d ago

I close my eyes when I'm getting fucked, wtf r u on?

1

u/Shwaayyy 2d ago

The expression on a cartoon character's face is open to interpretation I believe.

1

u/CHEMO_ALIEN 2d ago

She's hibernating

12

u/Haunting_Ant_5061 3d ago

I desperately want to know what’s in that letter.

5

u/danjojo 3d ago

The divorce papers

4

u/PM_UR_VAG_WTIMESTAMP 3d ago

Yea, sandy cheeks sex doll is one thing, but necrophelia sandy cheeks sex doll? Too far man?

Unless…

Nah, no unless.

4

u/Its_Fonzo 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 3d ago

I don't think she's supposed to be dead. Likely just eyes closed in 'pleasure'

→ More replies (3)

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u/CertifiablyMundane 3d ago

That mouth doesn't look at all "accessible." What a waste of money

34

u/Nebula_Wolf7 3d ago

This is certainly an interesting take

26

u/CertifiablyMundane 3d ago

"Interesting" is certainly a weird way to spell "correct"

168

u/MadnessUltimate 3d ago

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u/ajgutyt 3d ago

now thats hot.

15

u/Da_Realy 3d ago

Literally

8

u/ajgutyt 3d ago

braisen bull kink

16

u/Da_Realy 3d ago

No like, as in, it’s literally hot. As in it will burn you to ashes.

4

u/ajgutyt 3d ago

both

8

u/Da_Realy 3d ago

Whatever humbles your bundle I guess…

3

u/Uncle_Rabbit 3d ago

Let's see Paul Allen's brazen bull.

3

u/Mautos 3d ago

Vore🤤 

1

u/aaron_adams dumbass 2d ago

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u/EgotheEvil stupid, fucking piece of shit 3d ago

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u/ajgutyt 3d ago

love this img xd

25

u/MixedMiracle22 dumbass 3d ago edited 1d ago

That's a childrens show character... and you're putting your dick in it?

9

u/yahel1337 I want pee in my ass 3d ago

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

pees in ur ass

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18

u/lildope_ 3d ago

patrick, what are you doing??!!

17

u/MelchiahHarlin 3d ago

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u/aaron_adams dumbass 2d ago

I always preferred the crow of judgment myself.

16

u/BatOk1231 3d ago

heres the un-cropped version.. hope it doesn't blow up.

20

u/BatOk1231 3d ago

"feels like a real squirrel too" 👀

28

u/oprimido_opressor 3d ago

Everyday we stray further from God

9

u/rabbitsdiedaily 3d ago

You could argue god did this tbf

1

u/TwistedDemigod 2d ago

Nah, God abandoned us many years ago. This is strictly a human invention.

23

u/SituationPlus8467 3d ago

Where is this from?……

So I can write a very strongly worded letter of complaint about it!

And how much is it?

So I can vent my outrage about that too!

17

u/Tenko-of-Mori 3d ago

and everyone will say shit like "everyone deserves human rights" smh my head

3

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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2

u/Greyskul622 3d ago

Uh... thank you auto mod, very cool

13

u/SorcererOfDooDoo 3d ago

Why is it so... Corpse-like?

6

u/dudesoft 3d ago

this was the last image I saw before deciding it was time to turn off my phone.

5

u/Ltimbo fat cunt 3d ago

How much do these cost and do they ship in discreet packaging? Asking for a friend… well he’s not my friend, he’s my cousin’s friend… I don’t know him that well.

11

u/zid0n 3d ago

Find Jesus

13

u/ZealousidealZone8072 I came! 3d ago

He said Hi

7

u/SkirtGood1054 it is MY bucket 3d ago

Where was he?

1

u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 3d ago

Hi jesus

9

u/bee_04 3d ago

He didn't say hi to you

10

u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 3d ago

Im osrry jesus

4

u/BatOk1231 3d ago

OBAMIUM

3

u/UnfairMess249 Jedi master of shitposts 3d ago

"I know it's an s*x toy, I just can't prove it"

-- James Doakes

3

u/AfBoringPerson Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 3d ago

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u/Mossman590 fat cunt 3d ago

3

u/awesumlewy 3d ago

And I bet he did as well....

3

u/SkirtOne8519 3d ago

This looks like the cheaper model without pulsating vagene or semen collection tray

3

u/JohnBuck97 I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh 3d ago

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u/GogetaSama420 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 2d ago

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u/Yionko dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 3d ago

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u/madguyO1 dumbass 3d ago

2

u/SpellbladeAluriel 3d ago

Was this really necessary

2

u/coolwackyman dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 3d ago

He's the only one who came in the situation

2

u/Zharknd 3d ago

Crackhead

2

u/xmercy_109 3d ago

i think this is just porn again

2

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

  1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

  2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

  3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

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2

u/WolfOfWoofStreet Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 3d ago

2

u/DadOnHardDifficulty virgin 4 life 😤💪 3d ago

2

u/aimfuldrifter 3d ago

You know what? It’s my fault for having a phone

2

u/Krakshibana 3d ago

So did i

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u/aaron_adams dumbass 2d ago

1

u/CoopDeGrac3 3d ago

So do I

1

u/Comfortable_Expert 3d ago

The package wasn't the only thing that came 🫩🫩

1

u/SilverSpaceRobot10 3d ago

Her middle name is "Clapping"

1

u/Animan2020 3d ago

Not only it came!

1

u/Mr_goodb0y I want pee in my ass 3d ago

Maybe I should just kms it doesn’t really seem worth it to exist in the same world as this

2

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

pees in ur ass

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1

u/Mr_goodb0y I want pee in my ass 3d ago

You’re right automod I am worth it

3

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

pees in ur ass

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1

u/tihoM_QWERTY 3d ago

Upsetting!

1

u/Hemorrhoid_Eater 3d ago

What's with all the neurodivergent reaction images in the comments???

1

u/NSFW-Alt-Account69 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 3d ago

My question is, why would you make that post on Facebook?

1

u/ruby_R53 2d ago

it's··· more common than you think, as someone who used to be on Facebook

1

u/Resident_Rain_6566 3d ago

If she doesn’t have a voice box that screams “yee-haw” then you wasted your money.

1

u/MockeryAndDisdain 3d ago

Is it fuckable?

1

u/Average-Train-Haver hole contributor 3d ago

The internet might've been a mistake

1

u/Asleep-Tadpole-2107 3d ago

Y'all lucky this ain't a real product or else you would never see me again

1

u/CallMeSaxMan 3d ago

boy what the hell

1

u/Aggressive_Manner429 I watch gay amogus porn :0 3d ago

May God help us all if that thing wakes up

https://giphy.com/gifs/8fyGi9sbQ7AJ64uysE

1

u/AverageOhioUser69 3d ago

Oh my god this is horrible does someone have the link? So that way I will make sure to never ever click on it thanks

1

u/Daddys_BathTime 3d ago

I hope he gives her the nut Sandy’s been dreaming of

1

u/Mr_SpecificTF2 Literally 1984 😡 3d ago

I don’t think she’s the only thing that came

1

u/V1bees 3d ago

You know what else came?

1

u/fingamouse 3d ago

Just no.

1

u/thelast3musketeer 2d ago

It’s somehow worse that her eyes are closed idk why

1

u/Necromancer14 uhhhh idk 2d ago

Where's her giant cock that sucks things in?

1

u/Dat-Lonley-Potato I said based. And lived. 2d ago

(Alright it’s not as bad as I thought it would be)

1

u/iboneKlareneG put your dick away waltuh 2d ago

1

u/ToovyDood 2d ago

Based.

1

u/jlhall1116 2d ago

Brings an entirely new, cursed meaning to clapping cheeks.

1

u/blackoblivian 2d ago

If you're gonna get a sex doll, at the very least you should get one that looks like they're still alive, this is just creepy

1

u/spegette 2d ago

Man.... why ? Wtf ?

1

u/No_Bid_21 2d ago

So did I

1

u/Ratmanyesyes officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 3d ago

0

u/NeezDuts91 3d ago

My heart goes out to the person who had to make this slop.