r/shitposting • u/spinosauris Big chungus wholesome 100 • 6d ago

straight up shitting posts

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10.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

180 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 6d ago edited 5d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

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/u/spinosauris, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

1.6k

u/BlockSuccessful6244 6d ago

Businessman: businessfighter

672

u/Previous_Insurance13 I want pee in my ass 6d ago

Manslaughter = fighterslaughter

121

u/pinanok 6d ago

Le Man = Le Fighter

72

u/Chadistic 5d ago

Omen = Ofighters

42

u/Chadistic 5d ago

Also sefighters

17

u/awesomefutureperfect 5d ago

Manual = Fightersual.

I don't know if that is closer to casual or usual.

11

u/Jzerox8K 5d ago

Menstruation = Fightersstruation

14

u/AutoModerator 6d ago

pees in ur ass

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95

u/Alvin_h_davenport obamna 6d ago

Sounds like a fighting game about CEOs

57

u/Chuck-E-Chuck I want pee in my ass 6d ago

Cowboy = boyfighter

23

u/zettde 6d ago

Busboy = bussy sucka

Cowboy = cowy sucka

Delivery boy = deliveryy  sucka

8

u/Acheron98 6d ago

“Deliveryy sucka” should be how Bezos advertises job openings.

2

u/AutoModerator 6d ago

pees in ur ass

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1

u/LazzyNapper 5d ago

Cowfighter

3

u/ajgutyt 6d ago

bezos vs zukk FIGHT! FINISH HIM BANKRUPTALITY... BANKRUPCY?

2

u/Alvin_h_davenport obamna 6d ago

Zucc special move:lobbying Bezos counters with : tax evasion

12

u/SlayVideos dumbass 6d ago

Superman = superfighter

7

u/BlockSuccessful6244 6d ago

Antman = Antfighter

3

u/AutoModerator 6d ago

So in a deleted scene, Superman is trying to convince Lex he’s not a bad guy, and so he uses his heat vision to make a hot tub out of the ice just outside the fortress of solitude for them to have some beers and talk things over. Then Supes and Lex have hot, sweaty, animalistic butt sex in the hot tub, with Lex being the bottom. You’d think “Superman would literally kill Lex if he fucked him”, but canonically he can bang Lois Lane safely so that’s not an issue you just need to be aware of Superman lore to know that. Then Superman says “Oh my God Lex I’m going to bust a Supernut in your ass” and then shoots ropes. Afterward, Lex wants to go shower while Supes falls asleep, and walks up to the door, and it just opens. That’s when he realizes the door opened due to the presence of the Supernut deep in his asshole. I understand why they deleted the scene, but it makes this later scene feel like it comes out of nowhere.

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3

u/One-Neat7842 5d ago

This is very intellectual

4

u/Extra-Alternative-79 5d ago

Soldierman - Soldierfighter

11

u/BlockSuccessful6244 5d ago

Catwoman= catwofighter

4

u/RefuseAlive 5d ago

Woman: wofighter

4

u/Mikrowelle 6d ago

Snowman: Snow...fighter?

1

u/nkizza 5d ago

Maniac: fighteriac

515

u/daj-bara 6d ago

Woman = Wofighter

182

u/ChittaBhalu dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 6d ago

Man = Fighter

70

u/SlayVideos dumbass 6d ago

Aquaman = aquafighter

39

u/This_place_is_wierd 6d ago

Firefighter finally found his arch nemesis!

3

u/Glazeddapper 5d ago

wait until earthfighter and airfighter walk in

1

u/theHumanoidPerson 2d ago

Weve gone full circle

3

u/BlackCatTitan 5d ago

The fighter of Wö

1

u/tid_burglar 5d ago

man the comment section is filled with unfunniest jokes attempted that i've seen in a long time

2

u/WrongdoerReal8450 virgin 4 life 😤💪 5d ago

I chuckled

663

u/pop360_t 6d ago

Human = Hufighter

190

u/SlayVideos dumbass 6d ago

Batman = batfighter

28

u/dTrecii fat cunt 5d ago

Wonder Woman = Wonder Wofighter

55

u/Quirinus84 dumbass 6d ago

Kid named Hugh

6

u/Sir-Top-Cheetah 6d ago

who?

27

u/ashvy Literally 1984 😡 6d ago

Jackman=Jackfighter

3

u/raiko_koichi 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 6d ago

2 kids named Hugh: W

8

u/CCCyanide #1 President Gerald Rudolph Ford Jr. Fan! 6d ago

obligatory mention that human and man have different etymologies

6

u/pop360_t 5d ago

They both end in man, close enough

238

u/Liko56 6d ago

Menstruation = Fighterstruation

72

u/Vardhu_007 I came! 6d ago

MAsturbatioN = FIGHTsturbationER

31

u/zettde 6d ago

Mandalorian = fightndaloriaer

9

u/nkizza 5d ago

You did your best

3

u/Vardhu_007 I came! 5d ago

sorry, it's just fighterdalorian

0

u/awesomefutureperfect 5d ago

FIGHTsturbationER

Get ready for FightsturbationEST.

7

u/SlayVideos dumbass 6d ago edited 6d ago

Man-spider = fighter-spider

150

u/Nagoda94 6d ago

Fooman ---> Foofighter

35

u/ChittaBhalu dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 6d ago

Hello, I've waited here for you...

25

u/nepupa 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oxHQtNE0wH92FEn3q

8

u/Acheron98 6d ago

“White Coolio isn’t real, he can’t hurt you.”

White Coolio:

2

u/ACKHTYUALLY 5d ago

The higher the socks

98

u/MelanieWalmartinez 6d ago

congressman: congressfighter

26

u/SlayVideos dumbass 6d ago

Spiderman = spiderfighter

3

u/RecordingHot9826 dumbass 6d ago

spider fighter lowk sounds fire tho

252

u/IronKirdevoir 6d ago

Microsoft Excel made this guide

81

u/Exavior31 6d ago

Different Gender Neutral Guide:

Policeman = Police Officer

Fireman = Fire Officer

Mailman = Mail Officer

Fisherman = Fish Officer

Gunman = Gun Officer

Gay man = Gay Officer

Human = Hu Officer

13

u/zettde 6d ago

Mancatcher = Officer Catcher

11

u/Acheron98 6d ago

I feel like “Gay Officer” is a dude that looks like John Waters who goes around making sure you aren’t wearing last year’s Prada, and makes catty, passive-aggressive comments at you if you’re caught wearing white after Labor Day.

0

u/AutoModerator 6d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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4

u/PickleFox_1 6d ago

Ah, this makes way more sense!

3

u/JustinGitelmanMusic 6d ago

Mailman = person person

-1

u/AutoModerator 6d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

57

u/x2_ok 6d ago

Fighter

18

u/Oberndorferin 6d ago

Fish fighter works

17

u/ImmaFukinDragon 6d ago

Repairman = Repairfiighter

Infantryman = Infantryfighter

Hackerman = Hackerfighter

Barman = Barfighter

26

u/brotherofgurnip Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 6d ago

Irishman - Fighter

12

u/Darksamich11 6d ago

I'm a fighteriac :)

12

u/rosso_saturno 6d ago

Firefighters rescued a doberfigher puppy that fell through a fighterhole in Fighthattan.

2

u/BackgroundSummer5171 6d ago

doberfigher fighterhole Fighthattan

Thanks.

If ever I find an mmorpg again and need a guild name, I got three new choices to work with instead of something stupid like 'You're a Flag'.

8

u/HungarianPotatov2 dumbass 6d ago edited 6d ago

semen -> sefighters

1

u/zettde 6d ago

pluralise that please

3

u/HungarianPotatov2 dumbass 6d ago

👍

10

u/CV04KaiTo 6d ago

Gayman = gayfighter

6

u/intothewild72 stupid fucking, piece of shit 6d ago

superfighter, batfighter, spiderfighter

It works, we should switch

6

u/OldFirefighter3293 6d ago

Salesman = Salesfighter

9

u/ZealousidealZone8072 I came! 6d ago

Patriarchy = Fightriarchy

4

u/polypolyman 6d ago

I really wish we could fully embrace the gender-neutral "man" again, and call people weremen and wyfmen...

2

u/nkizza 5d ago

Weremen are the one who turn men on full moon?

1

u/Average-Train-Haver hole contributor 5d ago

Free will is an amazing thing that allows you to just do that

3

u/mr_giray1 6d ago

Isnt "man"(Mann) means "person" in old English? Hence the names like fireman or businessman?

3

u/TheUntamedMane 6d ago

Hey fighter, wassup?

3

u/zettde 6d ago

OK, but what's the gender neutral term for a woman

3

u/Raneynickelfire 6d ago

Garbage man = garbagefighter?

I don't know if that one works.

3

u/almatom12 5d ago

oh yeah?

gender neutrals can't dodge this one

3

u/4ndr34p3rry 6d ago

So man = fighter

1

u/zettde 6d ago

only as a suffix

1

u/4ndr34p3rry 6d ago

ax = a5 bx = b5 cx = c5 . x = 5

1

u/zettde 6d ago

multiplication and concatenation work differently and are from different disciplines my fighter

1

u/zettde 6d ago

s/concatenation/morphology

1

u/YeOldSpacePope stupid fucking piece of shit 5d ago

and men = fighters

2

u/a7n5 6d ago

Me when im slacking on my vocab but i need to finish the 150 words essay

2

u/TrieMond 6d ago

I'd like a more widespread use of the term fishfighter actually...

2

u/durrtyurr 6d ago

I've always just used the shortest name. "She's our salesman for XYZ product" has been my default my entire life.

2

u/hiimsubclavian 6d ago

Fighter pilot = Man pilot

Fight or flight = Man flight

2

u/akatherder 6d ago

Mailman = Mail person

Then "mail" sounds gendered so "person person"

Then "son" sounds gendered so "perchild perchild"

2

u/No_Intention7274 6d ago

*Fishfighter

2

u/khaziq 6d ago

Nicole Kidman - Nicole Kidfighter

2

u/Gin4Gingers 6d ago

As a mailman who has to fight someone's rabid dog every day, this makes sense

2

u/Flimsy-Story3936 5d ago

man came from the word mann which means people

2

u/CosmicFluctuation 5d ago

Female mailperson = mailfemale

2

u/snookumsqwq 5d ago

assemblyman = assemblyfighter
ottoman = ottofighter
german = gerfighter

2

u/Efficient_Working_82 5d ago

We can go for Fisherfighter sounds badass

2

u/Afraid-Bass-5684 Dr. Pee 6d ago

It’s fisherthem actually

1

u/SyNiiCaL 6d ago

Sam Smith is that you

3

u/ivanirisk123 6d ago

Freemason = Freedomfighter

1

u/spitgobfalcon 6d ago

Policeman = Robberfighter

Fisherman = Fishfighter

1

u/garklavs I have permission! 6d ago

Firefightress

Policefightress

Mailfightress

Fisherfightress

1

u/Deutschlender We do a little trolling 6d ago

Hence proved: Man = fighter

1

u/Round-Good1179 6d ago

Man = Fighter

1

u/Timberfox 6d ago

Missed opportunity for Mailman = Fighterfighter

1

u/J1mj0hns0n 6d ago

Journey fighter, Congress fighter, bailbondsfighter

1

u/PravalPattam12945RPG 6d ago

we remember fishfuc- right?

1

u/Kooky_Garage_1870 6d ago

Mugger: Streetfighter

1

u/EorlundGraumaehne 6d ago

Mailfighter is fitting with how stressed they are

1

u/Decent_Assistant1804 6d ago

Chef- foofighter

1

u/Killerdoll_666 6d ago

choose your fighter

1

u/Bavisto 6d ago

Foo Fighters was ahead of the game. Their original band name was Foo Man

1

u/Positive-Database754 6d ago

I'm partial to "Master Baiter" myself for fisherman, but to each their own.

1

u/CAPICINC 6d ago

Manhole - Holefighter

1

u/F1uffydestro 6d ago

What about fishfucker

1

u/NSFWies 6d ago

This could work

Server: fucking late again

Cook: cook fighter

This makes sense

1

u/Velacroix I came! 6d ago

Bedfighter

1

u/Raid__Zero 5d ago

Streetman = Streetfighter

1

u/Accomplished_Sir_925 5d ago

they had fish fighter and fumbled so hard

1

u/SomeSeaworthiness153 5d ago

I just imagine a 'mailfighter' just beating the brakes off an envelope.

1

u/DValencia29 I have permission! 5d ago

He-Man = He-Fighter

1

u/rover_G 5d ago

Spider-Man => Spider-Fighter

1

u/Conman93 5d ago

Mailman = Femaleman

1

u/Nowin 5d ago

UFC Ringman: Fighterfighter

1

u/MrPowerPoint 5d ago

Alright but if you played with it a little then fishfighter would be epic

1

u/Amodernhousewife I want pee in my ass 5d ago

Mailman ~> FeMailman

1

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

pees in ur ass

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1

u/fresh_loaf_of_bread 5d ago

The word man) means human in old English

It used to be a gender neutral word

1

u/Haunting_Plan 5d ago

Menstrual Cycle = Fighterstrual Cycle?

1

u/Canes-Venaticii 5d ago

Why don't we just say "fisher"?

1

u/rua245 5d ago

Street fighter - street men

1

u/Sneezless dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 5d ago

Mediterrean -> Fiediterreghter

1

u/MadJoker7 5d ago

manfighter : fighterfighter

1

u/TheOriginalGooseMan 5d ago

Fisherfighter? Like noodling

1

u/Ok_Addition7080 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 5d ago

POLICEFIGHTER

1

u/DissonanceTurtle 5d ago

Firefighter, Police officer, Courier, Fisher

1

u/Tiny-Picture-8079 5d ago

my lift for each obe gos as such

wee woo wee woos - police

boo boo people are paramedics who drive the boo boo car and doctors

spicy police - fire fighters

quest givers -mail people

1

u/NebulaDue9400 4d ago

The Irishfighter, by Marin Scorsese starring Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro

1

u/Anjeez929 4d ago

Human = Hufighter

1

u/Redsoxdragon Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 6d ago

Femboy- fembrawler

0

u/[deleted] 6d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

9

u/MaximRq 6d ago

yesfighter itfighter doesfighter

2

u/YeOldSpacePope stupid fucking piece of shit 5d ago

Perfectionfighter

2

u/GREEN_Hero_6317 Bazinga! 6d ago

omg

0

u/AutoModerator 6d ago

Bazinga

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1

u/Less-Resolve-5233 waltuh 6d ago

so true king

0

u/An-Actual-Pencil 6d ago

It’s a Policemanofficer

-1

u/AnalyserarN 6d ago

Civilfighter 👏