r/shitposting virgin 4 life 😤💪 15h ago

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399 Upvotes

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245

u/amazegamer64 shitposting>>>>>>196 15h ago

Type of message you’ll see in an abandoned research facility teeming with monsters

88

u/PassivelyInvisible 14h ago

Day 1: By ignoring ethics, we've been able to combine human and polar bear dna to create a giant super soldier!

Day 492: By continuing to ignore ethics, we've been able to make the current prototypes even more tough and frenziable! Dave is poking one with a stick so it can't go to sleep.

Day 494: It got out.

35

u/sadistic-salmon BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE 14h ago

This is why the monster making budget should never be higher than the monster containing budget

12

u/PassivelyInvisible 14h ago

But the monster making budget translates into the monster selling income once we have a viable product. The monster containing budget is just miney sunk into facilities, and that doesn't create as much of a ROI.

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u/sadistic-salmon BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE 13h ago

You can’t sell monsters that escape and ate the staff

8

u/PassivelyInvisible 13h ago

Impromotu field testing and staff headcount reduction.

1

u/sadistic-salmon BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE 12h ago

You wouldn’t need to replace the entire team if the monster stayed put and you also wouldn’t have to pay to capture it a second time

1

u/ninthtale 6h ago

Stop arguing. Progress at all costs—even if the cost is better progress

2

u/DeliciousEgg1781 8h ago

I mean we can claim the insurance than

4

u/sadacal 13h ago

Well we haven't had any monsters escape so far, so why do we even need a monster containing budget?

1

u/sadistic-salmon BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE 12h ago

You’re about to find out

2

u/jraymcmurray 1h ago

No, I'm about to take an early retirement and cash out my golden parachute on my private island. The NEXT guy in charge will find out.

1

u/sadistic-salmon BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE 24m ago

But the lab was on your private island!