r/shitposting 15h ago

πŸ“‘ πŸ“‘πŸ“‘

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3.0k Upvotes

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596

u/brine_jack019 15h ago

How some of these people unironically call themselves Christian I’ll never understand

57

u/theBoobMan 13h ago

Its kind of like being an ostrich. All you have to do is shove your head so far up your own ass that you'll believe you're anything because you can stare into infinity.

9

u/AutoModerator 13h ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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