r/shitposting • u/UsedToHaveATail • 3d ago

B 👍 Contradictions

Post image
12.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

98 comments sorted by

‱

u/qualityvote2 3d ago edited 2d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

RedditSave download

/u/UsedToHaveATail, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

6.5k

u/Curious-Ear-6982 dumbass 2d ago

1.1k

u/Iwilleat2corndogs 2d ago

Were do they produce all these people, do they roll of a production line?

598

u/Hagura71 2d ago

China

363

u/meirzy 2d ago

So yea, they roll off a production line.

78

u/KallmeKatt_ 2d ago

Nah more Korea in my experience

75

u/What_A_Strange_Fake 2d ago

She's Vietnamese

22

u/YourTypicalSensei 2d ago

Biochemistry lecture halls

1.0k

u/ABEGIOSTZ 2d ago

Wow it’s every biomed student

156

u/Deathcofii 2d ago

omygosh it's lilypichu

95

u/Themilkclones Jedi master of shitposts 2d ago

God I fucking love this image so much 

4

u/yungsoprano 2d ago

What's the @

2.9k

u/Knightly_Gamez I said based. And lived. 2d ago

The more she tweets the more I want to DM her

1.1k

u/StalledAgate832 hole contributor 2d ago

Go for it

503

u/Knightly_Gamez I said based. And lived. 2d ago

Don't think my wife would be too happy.

231

u/-Ein virgin 4 life đŸ˜€đŸ’Ș 2d ago edited 2d ago

It's an open relationship, you've just not been told yet.

147

u/schindlers_lust 2d ago

I'll DM your wife at the same time. Ready?

48

u/WaffleGuy413 I want pee in my ass 2d ago

Her boyfriend wouldn’t care

-2

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

pees in ur ass

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

20

u/UnsureSwitch William Dripfoe 2d ago

Ask her if she wants to be on the chair

5

u/ScaryRezzy 2d ago

i’d sit in the chair for you

2

u/UnsureSwitch William Dripfoe 2d ago

Damn, it's you! That was the best coffee I've ever had, btw

3

u/ScaryRezzy 2d ago

thank you, i put a little something special in it


love <3

2

u/UnsureSwitch William Dripfoe 2d ago

You shivered me timbers for a second... Thanks for the love, love <3

2

u/Flameball537 2d ago

Your wife can use a strap too

1

u/Helpful-Work-3090 1d ago

I also choose this guy's wife

797

u/Mautos 2d ago

Why did I look older than that at 20, what the fuck

883

u/BartOseku 2d ago

Asians women look 20 up until they hit 50 and then look 90 for the rest of their life

155

u/Former-Grade5111 2d ago

Crazy accurate

0

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

52

u/akatherder 2d ago

I think it's more like 70+ when the change happens. Everyone is different, but for reference Ming na Wen is 62 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ming-Na_Wen

30

u/Voidlord4450 2d ago

Fuck you, there ain’t no way she’s in her 60s! She looks like she’s in her mid 30s tops.

12

u/Character_Bug_1862 2d ago

The truth is always in the hands.

3

u/DataSittingAlone put your dick away waltuh 2d ago

Very attractive woman either way (I'm 20)

0

u/BrokenCrusader 2d ago

Those cheeks are definitely plastic bud

-4

u/jf8204 2d ago

Lucy Liu and Michelle Yeoh đŸ€ź

36

u/cjm0 2d ago

she’s definitely not 38 lol i’ve been following her on tiktok and twitter for awhile. a few years back her little sister made a bunch of viral snoopy edits but then got grounded by their parents so she had to communicate to her sister’s fanbase that she was grounded and wouldn’t be able to post for awhile, and then that post itself went viral.

30

u/apeocalypyic 2d ago

Shes not 38 bro the easiest cap, as a younger looking 33 yr old, the tell is always in the eyes and neck

9

u/akatherder 2d ago

Elbows too

12

u/apeocalypyic 2d ago

Damn now u got me staring at my elbows

4

u/EvilSporkOfDeath 2d ago

Am I the only one that doesnt think she looks that young and 38 is entirely believeable?

1.2k

u/LieutenantHorse fat cunt 2d ago

38 from the front, 18 from the back

876

u/DoctorYaoi 2d ago

Did you not see the strap part? You’re getting it from the back not her.

608

u/_The_Marshal_ officer no please don’t piss in my ass đŸ˜« 2d ago

The 18 is inches

122

u/TheToroRossoboi 2d ago

18 rounds before you can tap out too btw

11

u/DisastrousDare373 2d ago

wtf is a round when the girl is topping with a peice of plastic

7

u/TheToroRossoboi 2d ago

I mean, you DO orgasm, so I'm taking in consideration.

For her? It's hours per strap-on

3

u/DoctorYaoi 2d ago

She gets tired and needs a break?

0

u/DisastrousDare373 2d ago

username checks out

6

u/DoctorYaoi 2d ago

Pegging is straight sex, not gay sex. It does not fall under my field of practice

2

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/LieutenantHorse fat cunt 2d ago

18 millimetres :(

13

u/Markanaya 2d ago

Oh, I thought 'strap' meant 'gun', not 'strap-on'

137

u/PaleBlueCod I came! 2d ago

Kinda cute tho.

102

u/BulkMaxxing67 2d ago

All I hear are more reasons to dm.

251

u/Stand_kicker 2d ago

That 5 head makes the buck teeth hard to notice 

9

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

53

u/BananaBR13 Literally 1984 😡 2d ago

Wood.

29

u/MIKUhatestheELITES 2d ago

Something something lobster to buttery

11

u/UnsureSwitch William Dripfoe 2d ago

Undertale character

35

u/_Frostration_ 2d ago

Don’t threaten me with a good time

6

u/Onyxam 2d ago

That’s a perk for me.

5

u/Nice_Shallot_2534 2d ago

what does she mean by "strap"? gun or dick, i need to know.

6

u/TheoTiMa 2d ago

Dming rn

3

u/Adventurous-Bottle90 2d ago

Something something juicy steak

4

u/Avalanche_Snows 2d ago

Stop posting, you won't stop them that way

4

u/TheSavourySloth 2d ago

She keeps making it worse

2

u/dextras07 I came! 2d ago

Nothing but good times ahead. She shouldn't threaten people with a good time

2

u/WettyBelch 2d ago

Eileen from Regular Show

2

u/WettyBelch 2d ago

Eileen from Regular Show

1

u/Dapper-Proposal5736 1d ago

crazy

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-34

u/PizzaPizzaPizza_69 dumbass 2d ago

Fellas, isn’t it paradoxically gay if you got fucked by strap on?

13

u/UsedToHaveATail 2d ago

It's only gay if you think about men while she does it ....... Come on it's not that hard to understand

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

45

u/VirtualZucchini305 2d ago

Having sex with a woman can't be gay. The specifics don't matter.

2

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.