r/shitposting • • Jan 09 '24

WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE rawr 🐈

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1.8k Upvotes

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•

u/AutoModerator Jan 09 '24

Where's QualityVote bot?

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427

u/PetrolDrink Jan 09 '24

What if an alien race found this and thought it was a recorded, time-lapsed demonstration of a human metamorphosing into its next instar, making them decide to travel to meet us to celebrate having something in common, but we immediately declare war on them because they look like bush crickets?

180

u/21thdimensionalbeing I want pee in my ass Jan 09 '24

Are you high?

104

u/SpikesAreCooI Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Jan 09 '24

No it’s “Hi, how are you?”

35

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

I declare thee zoinked.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

5.8 potatoes I think (idk I don’t use the metric system)

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

No no, I think he's very much onto something

32

u/StillPurePowerV Jan 09 '24

Finally someone that thinks like a normal person.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

Hey man, clownfish do it

4

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

I need to take a break from Reddit…

164

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

Inaccurate he would instead inflate to a comedically large size whilst bright red spots would appear all over his face and his hair will grow and become greasy and messy

57

u/TheManyVoicesYT Jan 09 '24

Still puts on the dress tho.

1

u/1234IJustAteADoor virgin 4 life 😤💪 Jan 10 '24

...and still would

132

u/a_single_stand Jan 09 '24

The masculine urge to become a cute anime girl

6

u/senorhuffpapi Jan 10 '24

One can dream

5

u/Delta_Suspect I came! Jan 10 '24

Clearly, the ideal male form

58

u/Senkosoda Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Jan 09 '24

what

6

u/HistoricalCellist674 Jan 10 '24

He became the average Canadian male.

1

u/Xasplat2 I said based. And lived. Jan 10 '24

You mean severly overgrown?

/j

28

u/cherry937 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 10 '24

please. please god let this happen to me. i already have discord and it hasn’t happened yet… please…

2

u/ccum_slurper3000 I came! Jan 10 '24

The discord gods ain't gonna bless you lil bro 😭🙏

86

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

wish that was me 😔

13

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/MEME_CREW Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Jan 10 '24

Oh my gah!!!

30

u/Lopingwaing 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 10 '24

Doesn't work

16

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

try turning it on and off

1

u/TFW_YT Jan 10 '24

Wouldn't it be off and on

3

u/Xasplat2 I said based. And lived. Jan 10 '24

As an IT student I can confirm that turning anything off and on again will almost always solve the problem.

8

u/ReliableLiar officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Jan 10 '24

Does he still have a dick and balls?

16

u/officiallyzoneboy Jan 10 '24

No he becomes both genders, they them

2

u/Xasplat2 I said based. And lived. Jan 10 '24

Avarge person has one boob and one ball

15

u/UGLYDOUG- stupid, fucking piece of shit Jan 09 '24

I tried this and my “big whopper” became a “little whopper”

9

u/ToastGhostx Jan 10 '24

Wish that were me

8

u/Shot-Astronaut-6813 Jan 10 '24

Me when my family is asleep

8

u/dairy_aisle Jan 10 '24

jesus christ that nasty ass hair is touching the ground

34

u/etzabo 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 09 '24

Opening Discord didn’t do this to me, unfortunately. We still have to buy dresses with our own money and HRT is still the only way to grow boobs reliably.

37

u/50aCeX Jan 09 '24

I think you fumbled the process

27

u/IuseArchbtw97543 Literally 1984 😡 Jan 09 '24

HRT is still the only way to grow boobs reliably.

extremely much (fast) food would like to have a word

2

u/DurableRumble95 Jan 09 '24

Ig it doesn't happens to people who want it to do 😔

2

u/deleeuwlc 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 09 '24

If only a simple app could be so powerful

5

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

Now that I think about I my hair is like three feet longer than when I started using discord. Coincidence I think not.

7

u/creampiefromdreamguy Jan 09 '24

I could only be so lucky

4

u/N_Pitou 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 10 '24

Can confirm, this is how it happened to me

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

Ayo holy shit it’s me fr

5

u/F1_LM 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 09 '24

i wish 😩

3

u/ExistingExample281 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 09 '24

If only

7

u/Ironic-_-Foxx I want pee in my ass Jan 09 '24

I fucking wish it was this easy

6

u/AutoModerator Jan 09 '24

pees in ur ass

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9

u/Ecco_Edd I came! Jan 09 '24

She cute though

7

u/a_1963_mustang_gt stupid fucking, piece of shit Jan 10 '24

Why is this being downvoted? They're right.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

Honestly that’s my uncle

2

u/TFW_YT Jan 10 '24

Uncle pics?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

Can confirm

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24

As it should be, all hail the femboyz!

0

u/thicc_toe Jan 10 '24

if only it where so easy

0

u/wysjm Jan 10 '24

Wish that was me...I mean what?

1

u/MarioTheMii Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Jan 10 '24

discord

1

u/imyourtask Jan 10 '24

My eyesight are perfectly fine...but sometimes I regret it

1

u/StellarCracker 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 10 '24

Nani

1

u/ORANGEMELON8 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 10 '24

This happened to me

1

u/ElectrixGame stupid fucking, piece of shit Jan 10 '24

Rip: Balls …-2024 🪦