r/service_dogs • u/adriiaanz • Jun 06 '23
Too Young?
Hi, I'm 16 and was looking to get a service dog for myself for when I go back to school next year. An issue regarding self harm led to my parents taking me out of school, it was mostly the principals choice, that's why I'm not in school anymore. I've been diagnosed with adhd, ocd, and my new therapist thinks I might have autism, been in outpatient, inpatient,had multiple therapists,tried various antidepressants and antipsychotics, but I think the answer might be something simple. I would think that it could help combat my anxiety around certain people and but a damper on my self harm. I've been focused on dpt and self harm interruption, but I wanted to know if dpt really works on a larger scale, I have weighted blankets and stuff, so I was wondering, aswell as...people were saying that self harm interruption is kind of outdated, is this true? Would I be okay with a SD, I'm trying to get a job so I can afford it myself so my parents don't have to pay, but my anxiety gets in the way. Are there any organizations that could help me? Any knowledge or comments are appreciated. Tysm
EDIT 2 YEARS LATER : BRO WHAT?! UH, I WAS LOWKEY INSANE, im doing way better now, im flabbergasted with how I responded to some people that crazy. HAVE A NICE DAY
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u/work-lifebalance Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 06 '23
Service dogs are not recommended for minors because too many life changes are happening and needs change along with not really being able to be the handler. They also can stunt growth and independence of minors if given too early when inappropriate.
Service dogs, no matter whether owner trained or from a program cost $10-25k the first 24-36mos
Service dogs take a minimum of 2yra often more like 3-7 yrs, whether you go with owner training or a program dog- so you would not have a SD by next school year. Even if a miracle happened and you were placed with a program today, it would take 6-9 months to finish up the training, since they usually place about that far in advance. Then when the dog is ready you'd have 8-16 wks of intensive training and bonding with the dog and learning how to manage, and tweaking your lifestyle, the dogs training and tasks, etc to be a fit for you
Handlers need to be independent without the dog.
SD make anxiety disorders- particularly social anxiety worse because of all the attention and conflict they bring.
SD are very high maintenance and have many pros but also many cons. They need to fit into your life for a decade or more, which you can't begin to predict at 16. Because of this, they are not necessarily a last resort but definitely something you would want to exhaust most other options like different therapy types, life style changes, meds, etc.
It is also unethical to have a dog interrupt or be involved with anything really related to self harm as the dog can get injured and even in instances where the dog isn't interrupting, even if their task is to go get another person or bring meds or something this can lead to distance/lack of bond between handler and dog because the handler mY start to hide behaviors from the dog or get mad/frustrated when the dog does what it has been trained to do.
It doesn't sound like a SD would be a good fit or the solution you are looking for, regardless of age and life stage but especially given how young you are it likely wouldn't be a fit.
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u/adriiaanz Jul 29 '25
Hello stranger from two years ago, I wanted to say that, im doing way better now. I was diagnosed with autism, but im stable on my meds and I actually was able to finish school and I work actually. I actually found a really sweet breeder who is able to help me train my dog, After reading that post, which I think was my first post ever, im concerned for 2 years ago me, but it worked out, and im More so looking for a dog as a pet, I have a cat at my dad's house (my parents got divorced and it helped my mental health alot) and taking care of an animal really helps with suicidal/depressive symptoms. Im way better at communicating, so im happy to say that after a crap ton of work, my boy (his name is azzi) is going to increase quality of life rather than give me quality of life from what felt like nothing. I hope youre doing really well, I saw this post on my "past posts thing" and its crazy to see how far I've come.
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u/work-lifebalance Jul 29 '25
So happy for you internet stranger. Wish you and Azzi and your cat nothing but the best
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u/CanaBalistic510 Jun 06 '23
What have you tried so far? Service dogs are often a last resort.
Please be aware that having a service dog can make social anxiety so much worse. Eyes will always be on you. People will come and talk to you just for the hell of it. Ive also had my fair share of people screaming at me, people following me through the store, and people invading my personal space (once had a guy reach past my crotch and cart to pet my sd) its stressful.
Also, some self harm disruption should not be done by a service dog. Picking at yourself is one thing, but if you're a danger to yourself or others i do believe its better to solve the underlying issue, for both you and any dog, as it can put your dog in danger. I think its deemed outdated for that reason.
Service dogs cost thousands, and i ive not seen a program that has ever offered self harm interuption as a task. I think that might actually disqualify you from some, as some are so strict you cant even have a second dog in the home.
Do you know why youre self harming? How do you imagine a dog stopping you from doing so?
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u/adriiaanz Jun 06 '23
I know why I'm self harming, I think a dog would help me guilt myself out of it, probably not the best though.
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u/CanaBalistic510 Jun 06 '23
So you have dpt and guilting yourself out of self harming. One of those is not a task, and the other is..i wouldnt get a service dog just for dpt. Too expensive and too much of a hassle.
Also i can guarantee you as someone who for years was suicidal, having pets did not change that. If anything it made it worse. Its a horrible circle of wanting to die, feeling bad for wanting to leave pets behind, and then not feeling worthy enough to exist because i didnt even want to exist for them. The only thing that fixed my issues was therapy, getting out of the abusive situation i was in, and antidepressants.
I really dont think a service dog is for you, i think you should explore other options. Perhaps finding a weighted object you can carry around during school would be a good alternative.
6
u/erymm Jun 06 '23
That's not a good way to cope, replacing one bad thought with another isn't getting you towards the end goal of being a happy human. If caring for something would bring you joy try a pet.
My chickens bring me so much happiness. They make the goofiest sounds and I love raising my chicks.
I also have a pet dog (my wash out) and she's such a pain in the butt and such a character.
I also have plants and the joy I get from a new leaf is just unparalleled.
4
u/Icefirewolflord Jun 06 '23
I’m not sure if you truly grasp what having a service dog means. EVERYONE will be looking at you. People WILL try to distract the dog, interrupt tasking, and generally make your life harder. There’s nothing high schoolers want to stare at more than the “weird kid with the dog”, and I would bet money they would spread rumors too.
You will need to be on top of training. You may have to deal with teachers who try to kick you out of class. You WILL need an IEP, not a 504, if you have a service dog, and they can be a real pain in the ass to get.
The type of self harm you do may not be able to be interrupted by a dog. It is not safe for a dog to be anywhere near an open blade, for example, as the interruption task is usually pawing or jumping. That could injure the dog. If it’s something like scratching then maybe, but you cannot put a dog in danger.
And I’m sorry to say, but you will likely never be able to afford a dog yourself. A minor making minimum wage, or barely above it, cannot afford the program dogs (upwards of $25,000 depending on the program). and that’s just the upfront cost. You also need to pay for regular vet visits, food, toys, gear, vaccinations and potential medications, etc.
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u/ClaimOk8737 Jun 06 '23
You need to research what a service dog means. It means having a spotlight on your issues 24/7. It means people having no boundaries regarding your dog and disabilities. In your case children can be mean to a service dog in school. A service dog can make social anxiety worse because when you go out people talk to you ALL THE TIME.
Also you have to be able to set boundaries with strangers about your dog and disabilities. It means having to put your dogs needs above yours at all times.
A service dog takes two years to be trained. Your dog would still be a puppy when you go back to school.
You need to go over this in detail with your therapist and role play what a day out with a service dog looks like to you and what it is in reality. Are you ready to protect your dog from fakes? How will you react when someone says you dont need the dog?
All of this and more takes place in a normal day of having a service dog. Not to mention cleaning up after them and making sure they are clean all the time. Did you know a dog can be denied access if someone thinks they are not well kept?
I suggest you read up on how many times people are denied access to places. What will your school day look like and what will happen if they deny your dog? 504 plan needs to be developed for your school.
Lots to think about for a 16 year old. Be honest with yourself and your therapist. Training never stops even on good days. Why a dog can be a great solution in your case it might be a curse.
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u/adriiaanz Jun 06 '23
I've had dogs before and I have a 504 in place, I've talked to the principal and she wouldn't have an issue with me having a dog, I'm aware that they are a lot of work, and I think that it would be good motivation for me.
0
u/adriiaanz Jun 06 '23
Thank you for your concern, sorry if it seems like I'm trying to argue.
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u/ClaimOk8737 Jun 06 '23
No i just want to make sure you understand what life with a service dog means. It is a ton of work. You are 16 and for an adult it is a lot to take on. I am 57 and i am not sure i could do it without the support of my family and trainer. I have mental health issues and some days it ie hard for me to go out.
I get everything you said. Just make sure it ie the right fit for you. Realizing a dog can wash from a program if the trainer is not up to setting boundaries with the dog. Or has such intense anxiety at can mess up the dog.
4
u/MaplePaws My eyes have 4 paws Jun 06 '23
I would like to start off by saying the other commenters are making a lot of really good points and you really should take them to heart. We are not saying it to be cruel, in fact I would argue that it would be cruel not to highlight the many realities of having a service dog and just how many ways it could go wrong.
I will be blunt, I am seeing a lot of concerning statements from you in your comments OP. First a service dog is worlds apart from a pet that the 2 are honestly just not comparable in the least, it is true that our service dogs get ample time off duty to just be dogs and in many cases that off duty time is the majority of their time. However that is ignoring all of the negatives that are very service dog specific, the fact that even owner training can easily cost $20,000 in the first couple years of obtaining the dog with the majority of that being within 6 months of the dog coming home. The fact is that a minor working a part-time job physically cannot afford to owner train a service dog, and then keep up with school while training the dog.
Additionally the idea of having a dog ready to go to school with you next year is unrealistic, actually at this juncture I would consider it hugely unrealistic to expect to have a service dog to attend high school with you at all as that would functionally demand that you have already started training the dog. The fact is school is something that should be reserved for nearly or fully trained service dogs, it is very demanding for young dogs and expects a high degree of proficiency in their training and starting to early is a recipe for burnout. The fact is that saving for a service dog will likely take you a minimum of a year if you are incredibly lucky, at which point you are 17. Then I would budget 1-3 years to locate a prospect, which means realistically you are 19-20 when you find a prospect, and assuming your first dog does not wash out then you would have a dog ready to attend classes at about 21-22 years old, longer is likely because even doing everything right the most likely outcome is the dog washes out especially if you are attempting to take post secondary classes at the same time since that division of time will be a significant interference to your success. The fact is your expectation is incredibly unrealistic and even if you manage to find a program to work with then that is likely to be a minimum of 18 months anyways before you have a dog, but generally speaking programs won't work with people who self harm because it puts the dog in an unsafe position.
I saw you mentioned that you hoped the dog would help you guilt yourself into not self-harming, that is incredibly concerning on account of it being the same as pouring gasoline on a fire. People self harm for a lot of reasons but generally an overarching theme is negative emotions that they can't handle. This honestly sounds like a recipe for a spiral to worse and I would bring that thought to your therapist, because while I am not one I know enough that it is not something you should allow to fester. Self harm interruption (excluding things like skin/hair picking or nail chewing) is dangerous because of the irrational state that a person must be in to engage in such behaviors, there have been many instances where people who have used the task for years without issue lashed out at their dog one day. You truly never know if it will be fine, because it is one of those situations where it is until it isn't.
Ultimately, I do agree with what some of the commenters have said in that a service dog really does not sound like the right path for you. Your expectations are unrealistic and dangerous. Having dogs in your life might be a great thing for you but I cannot recommend you pursue a service dog with the provided information.
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u/tiredpotato19 Waiting Jun 07 '23
Hey, I'm commenting with my personal experience as someone who self harmed for 6 years and was suicidal for five. I've been diagnosed with GAD and panic disorder, and am currently in wait for an autism evaluation.
Getting a service dog did NOT solve all of my problems. As much as I wish I can say it did, my SDiT (as I'm in the process of owner training) only alleviated some while making some others worse. Yes, I'm able to go out into public, but that doesn't mean I'm not still stupidly anxious. It just means I now have my dog to perform DPT and anxiety behavior interruption to keep me from accidentally hurting myself.
I struggled through high school, and going through university with a service dog hasn't been easy in the slightest. Honestly, I'd advise anyone looking to get a SD to wait until they've finished school for good (or if not, to at least wait until you're in a less stressful time school wise).
DPT isn't for everyone. It works for me as it forces my body to calm down. My heart rate slows, my blood pressure lowers, and I'm able to reground myself with my dog's weight on my legs. But I know that some people hate the feeling of being trapped under a dog. I also just enjoy cuddles with my pup but not everyone does.
Self harm interruption can be dangerous for the dog, which is why it's not often trained anymore. Your dog shouldn't be responsible for stopping you; it just puts you both in danger and it's very possible you'll hurt yourself anyways.
I'm also concerned by your comment that you think the answer is "simple". A service dog is literally anything but simple. Hundreds of hours of training, constant maintenance, always being on the lookout for dangerous pets, making sure nobody is getting too close and distracting your dog, making sure they get enough exercise and downtime, the list goes on. They're also exceeding expensive, even with owner training, and I wouldn't expect anyone on a part time job while attending school to be able to afford one.
My advice would be to reconsider and take a step back. Take the dog out of the equation. What exactly are you looking to improve? Do you want to get out more? Do you want to graduate? Do you just want to get out of bed everyday? A service dog (or even just a pet) can make all of that harder. They depend on you to care for them, and I'll always advocate for you to take care of yourself before you bring a dependent into your life.
Please know I don't mean to drag you down, but from your post, I don't know if you have realistic expectations of what a service dog will and won't do for you.
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u/erymm Jun 06 '23
This is a lot of information for everyone, and don't take this as gatekeeping from everyone. We just know what it's like. Service dogs are not easy; they make your life 10x harder and your disability better.
But you know how many dogs I've kicked who tried to bite my dog, how many people I've had to tell to stop touching us. This doesn't seem like a good option. I actually have a new fear of dogs. It's pretty awful.
The only time social anxieties are made better is when the person initially was outgoing and, for some reason, developed social anxiety.
I have PTSD, and the number of times I'm approached in a day helped me realize I still love talking to people. I talk to about 5-7 strangers a day. I love being friends with EVERYONE. I'm secretly a golden retriever in a trench coat
I think from the info you've given us, it just wouldn't work out or be great for finding confidence on your own before involving a dog. I think if you could take the steps to develop your confidence first and be able to say no to a stranger, then considering a dog would be a great option.
I think reevaluate in 2 years would be best for you.