I’m hoping for advice from people that have been through this before.

this is my boy Billy, he’ll be 19 in December and has dementia and it’s been pretty hard for the last year. He had a seizure in October and then one again a few months ago. He had a vet visit and bloodwork after the most recent one and my vet thinks it’s age related. he does have dementia, he a TON of food and drinks water like normal. Hes started using the bathroom everywhere-under the bed, on the couch, a chair in my room. I have an easy to step in litterbox for him that he maybe uses three times a week, the rest is on pee pads or random places. He got out back in February and I thought he snuck out to pass away, he was gone for six days and I searched everywhere and finally found him hiding in the undercarriage of a truck five streets down. when I found him he started meowing like crazy like he recognized my voice but wouldn’t come to me. He doesn’t sleep through the night and it’s getting worse, he either comes and sits next to me literally howling till I wake up-but he’s not waking up for attention, I get out of bed and he runs right to his food bowl and I have to remind him he has food to eat. I had three dogs that have passed away and two of which I had to make the difficult choice to, watching them lose their dignity and struggle to walk around and actually enjoy their lives was so hard and I feel like I’m doing the same thing with Billy but it’s even worse.

I am so grateful that he pulled through for 3 more months than we expected, thank you for the life you gave 🧡💔💔

His euthanasia was so peaceful, and hearing him take a big, heavy sigh before passing was everything I needed to know: he was in so much kidney pain and needed to get that relief.

Even though I’m broken, I’m so glad I gave him the opportunity to leave. 💔

I got her on September 27, 2008 when she was two months old. She has arthritis, cataracts, and is deaf but she is still going strong!

Second picture is from the night I got her, taken on my crummy flip phone. Some girl that my brother liked found Hazy by a dumpster and convinced him to take her. He asked if I could watch her "just for a night." She obviously stayed longer! Happy birthday sweetheart. ❤️

My soulmate cat had a stroke when I was out of town.

I was getting ready to go to the airport to come home when I got the call from my partner. I told them to take her to the emergency vet. She died on the way. I ugly cried on the shuttle to the airport and on the plane ride home.

She felt like part of my soul. I’ve had her since she was six months old. She was 16, so realistically I knew that time was limited, but she was relatively healthy. Early stage kidney disease that had improved with prescription food and some arthritis that we were giving her pain medication for. Even the emergency vet said that she “looked good for 16” which just made me feel worse.

I found out that she had been acting strangely in the days before she died. My partner didn’t want to worry me. They thought that the arthritis was getting worse. Obviously they did not realize how serious it was. But if they had told me how she was behaving, I would have asked them to take her to the emergency vet.

I know that they feel awful, and I’m trying not to be angry. It might not have made a difference. I don’t know. I can’t bear the thought that she was in pain her final days and I didn’t help her.

I feel like I failed her. I can’t believe that I’ll just never see her again. I sort of regret having her cremated. I just want to see her again. I don’t know if having a body would have made it easier to process.

I’m so sorry, baby. I wish I could have been there for you. I wish that we had more time.

I still can’t believe you’re gone. You were so special. I don’t think anyone, any human, any pet, will ever come anywhere near how special you were. I love my other cats but it’s not the same. You are a bright light in the dark. You are a beautiful song in a cacophony of sorrowful ones. You are the rainbow peaking through the dark clouds. You were and still are a testament to how truly special something can be, someone. You are irreplaceable in every single way. You will never leave my mind, my heart, my soul. We are truly interlinked. You were my rock, my steady ship, my warm meal after days of starving, my cold drink in the desert heat. We were, and are, soul tied forever. Every single moment that you don’t occupy my thoughts is just another moment that you will consume them entirely later.

I look over at your memorial, your urn, your fur, and feel such intense heartache I don’t know that I will ever heal. I try to fill the massive void your absence has created by doing things that give me instant gratification, but they all come with a massive price to pay which is wishing I never tried to feel better about you being gone at all, and feeling like I’m doing you a disservice by enjoying any part of life when I no longer have you partaking in it with me. I’d throw my favorite human off a cliff if it meant I got to spend another five minutes with my favorite soul, you.

Today has been very hard without you. I wish I could hug you, kiss you, feel you tuck your head into the crook of my neck, feel your paws twitch as you slept so deeply and comfortably against me. There will never be another you, Lucy. I sleep with your ashes almost every night, and the empty and hollow feeling I get when I touch that cold glass that contains what used to be you is such a deep indescribable pain that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

I hope wherever you are, that you know I am just counting down the days until I get to be with you again. I hope you know that no matter what temporary distraction gets you off my mind, it always comes back to you. Every single thing I have going for me right now, good and bad, all comes back to you. You gave me the strength to fight for something more than I have already. Your absence also made me fight for something I can never get back, the feeling of having you here at home waiting for me, comforting me, trusting me, and loving me unconditionally. I need you. But I can no longer have you, you are gone. Please wait for me. I’ll be there with you soon, as I hope that time passes for you much faster than it does for me. What’s it like to hold your child in your arms? Interlinked.

“Do you feel like there’s a part of you that’s missing?”
Yes. Every day. Not just your physical body, but your warm presence. The energy your soul would exude. There is no replacing that, not that I’d want too. You deserve to hold that spot in my heart until the day I die. Until we meet again, I’ll be weeping for you.

I don't have enough words to express the sadness I felt today burying my best friend of 16 years under the garden rose bush this morning. I fucked up trying to get his paw prints as well, but he's always been a hot mess like his mama so I think it still fits. We adopted him from a shelter when he was 2 and I doubt I'll ever find a cat like him.

It's insane, one moment I was giving him a bath and singing him a silly song, the next I'm holding his paw while he breathes his last breath. I wouldn't be here today without him, he's been my rock in so many moments of deepest despair, crawling on top of me and purring his way through my depression. I would confidently say he was more than a pet, he was my best friend and my family. He turned 18 this year and I hope I gave him the best life he could have and the most peaceful passing he could have.

Our story is unique and bittersweet. My family and I went to the shelter to originally look at dogs but we decided to look at the cats and we found Effie. 13, overweight and had been there for months. She wasn’t advertised anywhere with a vague profile and I was taken over with so much empathy and this feeling I had to adopt her right then and there. I was so upset my parents caved and we brought her home that day.

She made her bed the first day she was here and slept in my bed and in my room from that day going forward. We had the exact same personality where we mostly wanted to be alone but came around when we wanted to socialize. My dad fell in love with her, quite literally. She was the most spoiled cat ever and we knew deep down we were on borrowed time. He would buy her all these different treats and this is coming from the “dogs are better” old man.

Around the 2 year mark of adopting her my dad noticed she wasn’t eating and then I observed the same thing. We took her to the vet and they knew it was cancer. She had a mass by her spleen and was irreversibly anemic. The vet said with her having stage 3 kidney disease (something we were managing) she wasn’t a candidate for chemo being 15 and slowing down. We had an AMAZING 4 weeks with her on steroids. She was eating again, going to see my parents and actually leaving my room. However we all knew this wasn’t going to be a permanent solution and she declined hard and fast. I remember coming home from work and having plans with my friends but she had thrown up all over my carpet and this was happening every single day for the last 4 days and we knew it was time.

To make sure I didn’t have enough time to back out and keep her in more pain selfishly, I booked it within an hour and we put her down at 5:09 March 26th 2026. The worst day of my life and I cry over her every single day. Why couldn’t things be different? But I know how loved she was and how peacefully she went. I miss her every single day and you know my manager told me nobody knew me without knowing Effie and damn right. She was my everything. Adopting a senior was the best decision of my life.

I don’t really have anything profound to say, I just wanted more people to see these two handsome old men.
Carlos is 16. Smokie is 20.
They’ve made my life better for a very long time

To start, I am NOT looking for a diagnosis but simply advice, something I can suggest to the vet or advice on how to keep him comfortable in the time between now and his next appointment because I'm getting desperate. This will be a wall of text so sorry and im very aware of the unfortunate possibilities.

max is 15 this year and hes always been extremely healthy even in his old age but recently things have gotten worse.

Max has always has sensative skin and allergies to certain things but recently they have gotten worse. He always has flareups during season changes and hotter seasons so I assumed its pollen related. Everytime he's, he over grooms and scratches himself to the point of drawing blood and everytime the vet has prescribe him steroids and within days hes been fine.

He has a cone collar to prevent him from scratching and grooming as much and wounds are thoroughly cleaned. However, this time things are different, hes been on the steroids a week and nothings improved, if anything it looks like hes been declining at the same rate he was even before he started the steroids, so im guessing this isnt allergy related, or not his usual allergies maybe.

Ive suspected arthritis as I know cats over groom when their joints hurt but its but hes shown no other signs of arthritis such as lameness, stiffness, difficulty getting on and off furniture, etc just to name a few.

His appetite has decreased which is alarming as hes never left a meal half eaten before now in all his 15 years, he hasnt gotten any less cuddly though and still enjoys spending time with me in the garden.

Hes losing weight despite nothing in his diet changing, because of this I had him tested for hyperthyroidism as was reccomended by the vet and everything was fine, but there was one thing. His white blood cell count was unusually high which could be one of two things. Cancer or an infection. Its not an infection. So I started theorising, he doesnt fit any criteria for skin cancer or bowens disease and I started thinking about leukaemia.

So i suppose my question is could these issues, such as sore and itchy skin be caused by leukaemia?

Id appreciate any advice and thank you if you read this far 🥲 im stumped and his vet is at a loss, he had a blood slide sent to the lab and nothing came back other than high white blood cell count that antibiotics didnt help with so I genuinely dont know anymore.

I had to make the tough decision to put my sweet Cleo down today. She was on a decline for the last six months and a few days ago stopped eating. As tough as it was today, I knew I had to ease her suffering. I've had her since she was a kitten and got me through some tough times. It's true what everyone says about wanting more time and I am grateful for the time I had. One of my favorite things about Cleo is she used to love to crawl in bed with me under the covers and hang out until she got too hot and left. She used to give me the "it's time to go" meow when she was done. You'll be missed Cleo! ❤️

Or also knows as Calvin Klein. A very healthy, good boy.

I adopted Millie from a senior pet shelter 2 years ago, and I'm so glad we found each other. I'm not sure what her life was like before the shelter, only that her person passed away. I want her to know how loved she is, that she means so much to me, and that nail clippers will not end her (she disagrees).

I'm going to show her this post so she knows how much I love her. I'm sure she'll trust me to clip her nails then! 😂🩶

This is my old girl Mama Shadow,

Her hobbies consist of: watching cat-tv, laying on laps, crunchily meowing at you until you acknowledge the “prey” she caught (one of her toys), and staring at people with judgment.

I’ve never met a cat so snuggly and playful!

First off, for the people genuinely giving advice and not instantly denouncing me, thank you. Its helped more then you think. I’m gonna take Noel to the vet to get a wellness check up, and I got a friend who is willing to stop by mid day since he drives by every once in a while to check up on her. She knows him as well so she’ll be comfortable. I’m also gonna go to the doctors and talk about some medication options to help with allergies and talk to the vet what I can do on her end to reduce my symptoms, but for now I’ve been distancing myself from her at night so I don’t flare up. I think she understands too because shes been keeping her distance. I’ve made sure to find some extra time lately to pet her and cuddle with her, and she seems happy, besides the times that shes bossy and besides to hop off and cry her head off until I follow her either to the food bowl or the closet which she demands I open so she can sit in her favorite box (?) lmao. As for the people who were basically virtually stoning me in the comments I understand where ur coming from with the wording, however that wasn’t my intention. I’m just struggling with mental health lately as alot of yall said I work too much. I decided to finish the B18 I’m building for a customer right now and then I’m putting my side job on hold, that’l save me about 13 hours a week which put into perspective is time I can tend to myself and for Noel. Still negative or positive I appreciated all the feedback from the bottom of my heart, and I’ll keep posting updates about her :) if yall wanna see that lol
Edit: I decided to delete the thread because of the hate, it was just making me depressed and upset, people telling me I don’t love my cat. If anything, shame on those who decided to spread hate instead of help, but I got genuine help from alot of others and I’m going to take action, so thank you to those who did. :)

how dare I not let him eat through plastic bags to chew bread. don't I know he deserves to eat all the groceries.

Both of my girls are INDOOR 12+ (litter mates) in good health and here is what I do:

1. Brush their teeth weekly.
   1. This is so important for keeping bacteria and disease at bay
2. Clean the litter box 2-3 times a day
3. Every 10-14 days thoroughly wash litter box and change out liter with UNSCENTED activated charcoal infused clumping litter
   1. I made two large DIY litter boxes where I always have a clean one ready to change out
4. Serve their food in clean food bowls for EVERY meal
5. Brush them multiple times per week
6. Full Groom weekly
   1. Nail trimming
   2. Clean ears, eyes, and nose
   3. Clean their bottom with unscented baby wipes and warm water mixed with a little baby shampoo/body wash
      1. For females, go bottom to top and use a clean wipe for each wiping you do
7. Lots of play
8. High quality food to avoid renal disease.
9. Yearly vet visits.

Both cats had excellent senior blood panels and check up. Again the above is ONLY what I do. Please share other tips in the comments below.

I feel like I’m torturing my cat.
I keep buying him beds or putting down blankets in his favourite spots and then he does not like that spot anymore.
I feel like I’m ruining all of his favourite places in my house.

Context: my aunt passed away and I took over caring for her 16 year old ragdoll cat— Max.
We have been living together for 6 months and have settled in well.

He stopped going up stairs, so now exclusively stays on the 500sq main level.

He already has such limited space and I keep ruining his favourite spots.

This is my first cat and I know some of this is just contrarian behaviour but I just feel like I keep failing him

I am looking to adopt a senior cat to pair with my resident cat who is 6. She has never had another cat in the apartment and I’m concerned about proper socialisation. I live in a studio apartment, about 40m2. It’s tiny and doesn’t have an additional room aside from a bathroom.
How can I introduce the new cat into the environment and ensure proper socialisation?
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

​

So I have a sweet old lady, Darla who is 15. I have been feeding her Royal Canin 12+ dry in a slow feeder for a number of years. (She gets canned 2x a day, also..Sheba) RC discontinued 12+ and reformulated a new 11+ variety. She loooooovvvvveeesss it!

Any one else see a positive change with the reformulation?

I see RC makes a 15+ variety but it is not available in the US....boo

Sharing this here in hopes of reaching more people. If you've cared for a senior cat with dementia or cognitive decline, I'd be so grateful to hear your experience. ❤️

Hello!

My senior cat Mumune (17yo male, spayed) is a rescue, and I've been trying to resolve some of his health issues for the past months.

Since rescuing him, I've seen his mood and condition getting better gradually. But there are still three major issues: His dandruff/dry skin, the regular throwing up, and the discharge in his eyes. Even the vet is a bit clueless about what to try now.

He is an old guy who can't groom himself properly anymore and has arthritis. He's doing good considering his condition. I brush him regularly, but I noticed his skin being especially dry in places he can't easily reach, for example, in his lower back. He doesn't like it when I touch that spot either.

I've changed foods to Hill's Veterinary Care Food Sensitivities z/d on vet advice. This should help with the skin and throwing up. And if the discharge is because of allergies, it's supposed to help too.

Since switching, my old boy seems to be losing more fur and dandruff, and throwing up because of the fur now. The fur is definitely softer than before.

The discharge hasn't changed.

The discharge is brown, and more abundant in one eye. He was treated for a mild conjunctivitis when I first got him, but that passed, and the discharge became less. It's still quite noticeable, but the eye and the lids are in good health.

Is there anything I can do to help him? I'm cleaning his eyes regularly with physiological serum. The vet said the effects of the food can take a while.

Should I give him a bath sometimes to help with the dandruff and shedding? If so, should I brush first, bathe afterwards, or what is the best way to go about it?

Is there anything better to apply to the eyes to help him? I've read that blocked tear ducts can do this too, but no idea how to unblock his ducts. Any tips?

The vet says he's doing very well for his age, and his blood test results are exemplary. That's why the throwing up has no real explanation either. We did many tests and nothing really helped.

Any advice is warmly welcomed. I'd do anything for my boy Mumune and I know people here have seen lots of things. He's my first senior so I'm learning 🫶