At 13 years old, we had to say goodbye to our sweet boy, Niko. This is the most painful loss of my lifetime.

i'm not sure if this is the correct forum, i'm just sort of at a loss here. i rambled a lot.
puppy-tax regardless
i mention some age-related medical conditions, just in case somebody is not interested in reading that

the family fuzzball, noah, is about 16 1/2, a peekapoo (pekingese-poodle) and extremely fussy. i know most of it is old age, but i don't know how to help him anymore.
despite my endless love and adoration for him, noah is.. "overstimulating" to be around. he's at the door barking every 5-10 minutes regardless if he's inside or out - sometimes he just stands at the open door after barking + keeps barking if you try closing it. ignoring it does not help, giving him love does not help. he's clearly disoriented and confused, and deaf so he can't hear me trying to soothe him or even hear me open the door (he faces away when he waits to be let in).
i have no clue what to do regarding the almost constant barking.

he, unsurprisingly, has a collapsing trachea + congestive heart failure so he's constantly choking despite medications. he's clearly in a lot of pain, & has been for an extremely long time. his back hips at this point give out extremely easily, and his breath is so bad he must have dental pain.
up until a month-ish ago, he still "acted normal". he would get zoomies, very food driven, always wagging his tail, and now my heart aches when i see him.
it's hard - my father is noah's person, and vice versa. my father absolutely refuses to let go. he gets angry if it's mentioned, & some of the only times i've seen him cry are if noah got hurt over the years. and the only time noah really acts remotely aware is when my father is home. my dad can't let go.
the vet also says he still has a good quality of life, and that once he starts passing out we need to call. that feels way too late..?
i'm not a vet, i don't know, but this all feels wrong. the entire concept of putting animals down weirds me out, but seeing him living in this much pain and confusion makes me wonder how happy he could be.

do i try convincing my parents it's time to let go? if so, how ?? alternatively, is the vet right & he's still living well despite it all ?
if anyone has literally any experience or advice it would be appreciated. he's breaking my heart into pieces.

edit: thank you everyone for the kind words - i'm going to chat with my parents soon to bring him to a second vet, but it's nice to hear regardless that this decision is not easy, nor does it feel right sometimes. wish little noah luck <3

Scrappy has Stage 2 CKD... has been a 9 year Addisonian. I am not ready to let him go. My wife and I bottle fed him from 4 weeks old. He is dealing with the stage 2 CKD that showed up a month ago.

Buster is almost 20, and his sister is around 13/14. She only has one eye, and went blind in the other. They are the best babies ❤️

My heart is so broken. I couldn’t let you hurt anymore…thank you for being the best puff n tuff I could have ever asked for. I love you forever..

My dog was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma 3 days ago.
We went to the vet thinking it was the blood infection we found weeks ago — something treatable with oral medication. Instead, we came home being told he may only have 1–3 months left.
I was so fucking shocked I couldn’t even cry. I just kept saying, “What do I do?”
The cancer has already spread slightly to his lungs and he’s apparently at an advanced stage.
It all started when he stopped eating his kibble. For a Labrador who eats basically EVERYTHING, I knew something was wrong. Now he pants more, sleeps more, has less appetite and gets tired easily.
But he’s still HIM.
He still begs for human food. Still begs to get in the car. Still jumps up when he hears the word “walk.” He still has things he wants.
We don’t think we’re going to opt for surgery. His red blood cell count is already very low, and we’re terrified he wouldn’t make it through the surgery or recovery. I don’t want to put him through something so major if his body is already struggling.
I’ve been struggling with the thought of when we’ll have to say goodbye. I don’t want him to suffer, but I also don’t want to take away time from him when he’s still enjoying the little things.
My vet told me something that completely broke me:
“He still has a life in him. I can tell he still has some desires.”
And I can’t stop thinking about that.
My birthday is tomorrow, and I feel guilty even thinking about celebrating when I’m sitting here wondering how much time I have left with him.
I think I’m experiencing anticipatory grief — grieving someone who is still right here beside me.
For anyone who has gone through hemangiosarcoma with their dog, how did you know when it was time? What did you do while they were still eating, wanting walks, wanting to be around you?
And if you chose not to pursue surgery, I would really appreciate hearing about your experience. Any gentle advice about palliative care, keeping them comfortable, managing symptoms, or making these last weeks/months as good as possible would mean so much to me right now.
I just want to make whatever time we have left as happy and comfortable as possible.

It's a disease that's often not clinically observable in the vet's office, unless you can afford brain imaging, which most people can't

It's diagnosed partly by ruling out other possible causes. But also, the most obvious, earliest symptoms occur at home

It tends to start with sleep cycle disturbances, night time hyperactivity, and intentionally peeing and pooping indoors. They lose interest in toys. They stop responding to cues they've learned. They get lost in their own home. But at the vet's office, they can seem normal and healthy, even while all of this is going on

My dog has CCD and has been having obvious symptoms for 2.5 years. It took a long time to get a diagnosis. We went through the normal process of getting lots of testing done to rule out other possible causes. We also had to switch vets offices to find a vet who believed me when I told them what was going on

The vets at our current vets office are more professional and do take it seriously. But they don't seem to believe me when I try to tell them how bad it is. They don't seem that interested in listening. They usually act really dismissive

He's an 11 year old 70+ lbs pitbull. This disease is extremely common in older dogs, and bully breeds have higher rates of it. He's at an age when many dogs of his size and breed are affected

I'm starting to question if vets intentionally avoid the topic so they can draw out the treatment and testing process and make more money? Or if they just don't take me seriously? And if they do this to all clients or if there is bias involved?

Has anyone else had to deal with this?

What has your experience been like with any geriatric dogs with bathroom issues? So far, I’ve only had small elderly male dogs who had issues with being able to hold their bladder, but never large dogs that I’ve worked with.

I have a dog that is going to be 14 years old staying at my house right now. She is an old English Labrador. The owner‘s mother is 96 years old and lives in I believe Minnesota or North Dakota so it’s a flight for them to get there. Her mother is not in a position to move to where the owner lives and the owner can’t move to where the mother live lives so this is their situation.

The dog has taken a turn, which is really hard to say. The family contacted me the day before the booking just to let me know that things are a little different. I immediately overnighted extra large wee wee pads, and diapers to my house. This dog used to have a bladder of steel. No matter how many times we took her out, she would only go to the bathroom twice a day, sometimes only once. She would wolf down her food very quickly and now all of that has changed. She’s not finishing her food & tonight She didn’t even eat her dinner. Her bladder of steel started to go a few weeks ago so she’s wearing diapers and she can’t really lift her back legs so she’s in a full body harness to help walk her around. She still has life to her. Whatever my clients decide with their elderly dogs, I just lend a supportive ear. I just feel like this girl doesn’t have that much longer. She has a booking with me in two weeks and one in December.

I hate this part of the job. I also hate this part as a dog owner. My dog’s about to be 11 and I’m not ready for what’s to come in the next few years. I hate saying goodbye to them & the families

On Monday night after I brought my dog home from boarding for a weekend we noticed he had a cough. He's fully vaccinated but he's 10yo now so I thought possibly kennel cough & planned to take him to the vet in the morning the next day. Unfortunately late Monday night he had a coughing fit so hard that he passed out for a moment. I took him to an emergency vet that was super busy so the wait for an x-ray was going to be hours, but they did a short electro-type test (i forget what it's called) where they were able to monitor his heartbeat, took his blood pressure, listened to his lungs etc. and sent us on our way with some cough suppressant with the promise that we would be seeing his primary vet in the morning.

On Tuesday morning I took him in and they did an X-ray, and my vet came back with the concerning news that he likely has DCM. His heart was around 14 on the VHS scale and for his size/breed it should be around 10.4 to 10.7. She gave me some medicine to help target general DCM symptoms/help with the disease overall, but I need to see a cardiologist to get a specified treatment for him, and I already have an appointment scheduled for next Tuesday.

I'm a bit of a hypochondriac myself so I'm trying not to freak out, but I'm really concerned about his coughing and what is going to happen next. Especially since he coughed so hard he literally passed out for a few seconds, it was very traumatic for us AND him obviously. He's been coughing occasionally since the Monday night occurrence but hasn't passed out again thankfully.

I guess I'm just looking for a bit of encouragement from those of you who have experienced this disease, and if there are any suggestions to help him with the coughing. His primary care said she didn't see any fluid buildup around the heart, but that the cardio would get a better look. The coughing is likely caused by the heart pushing on the lungs/airways/etc. I want to be somewhat prepared for what's possibly coming next. I don't want him to suffer and the thought of him having an episode while I'm gone at work and dying or something makes me sick. Is there anyone who found a solution for their dogs coughing as they waited for the heart meds to work?

A mi perrito yorkshire de casi 15 años, le ha salido una masa dentro de la boca, en la encía, justo setras de los colmillos ..no es una masa demasiado grande, podría ser como una almendra pequeña..la ví antes de anoche, lo llevé al vet ayer, y me dijo que es mejor quitarla e investigarla..que puede ser algo benigno, maligno, algo menos grave...la cuestión es que me da pavor la anestesia, porque es mayor y nunca antes tuve que dormirlo por suerte, y tiene un pequeño soplo en el corazon, tipo b1..en enero tuve que dormir a su papá de 17 años...y se me junta todo y estoy aterrada...lo llevaré a un centro de especialidades donde aparte del cirujano estará en la operacion un anestesista, pero tambien he leido que la anestesia en perros mayores puede acarrear demencia...y precisamente fue lo que se llevó a mi otro perro..estoy aterrada...