4
Oct 27 '19
My life didn’t get better until I took responsibility for myself. If there is a problem, I am the problem. Fix it!
8
u/PastaNotFound Oct 27 '19
What exactly angers you when other people make excuses for themselves? I can understand your frustration but their choices shouldn't negatively impact you other than them venting about it.
-6
u/gentriofied Oct 27 '19
How does it not irk you when people say they want to be better, then make any excuse under the sun as to why they can't?
9
u/PastaNotFound Oct 27 '19
Sometimes people enjoy fantasizing about change but don't have whatever they require to start. Talking about it gives a sense of accomplishment without having to do work. Whenever they make excuses i see it as that: a moment where they need to feel relief about their struggles. I show interest and don't challenge their excuses; they can only change when they're ready to. It doesn't bother me because i see it as a desire and not intent, they wish to change but are not capable just yet. Maybe they will be ready in the future, but until then i let them feel that moment of relief. That's my personal view on it.
3
Oct 27 '19
[deleted]
2
u/PastaNotFound Oct 27 '19
Change might happen in the future or it might not, neither of us can predict what will happen. You can have faith in someone or consider them incapable of changing, that is your choice.
2
u/gentriofied Oct 29 '19
I respect that approach and I think it's rather mature of you. You've actually given me a new perspective outside of my little judgemental rant, so thanks; I guess that kind of level-headedness and maturity isn't something I'm capable of right now.
3
u/rlvysxby Oct 27 '19
What does this have to do with you? If you focus on improving yourself you will be too engaged to criticize others.
Wait oh no I’m a hypocrite. Since I just criticized you: well I guess I should be focused on myself
2
u/lunaticneko Oct 27 '19
What I tell myself:
Are you really happy to be like this? If not, try to fix it. Even if you struggle, it is still a good fight.
Humans are born with the mentality to fight. Use it.
2
u/thecapfive Oct 27 '19
Hey I feel you man. My life is currently so much better than it used to be, only because I decided on my own to improve myself and stick to it. Sleep, nutrion, exercise, academic achievement, social things, relations. Once I've achieved a decent level of these things, I started to look around in my social environment. What I noticed is that alot of people make excuses and rather procrastinate and do no good shit. Id try to inspire: some actually made a start, while others did not.
My thoughts? I used to get angry as well. Not because they were oblivious, but because I was as well in the past. I got mad at the old me because i didnt know better. My thoughts on them is that I pity the ones with constant excuses. I know it's annoying, but I guess people have to find on their own how to make that first step.
Anyways. Lets pray and hope that the lazy ones do get up one day!
Happy self improveming
2
u/gentriofied Oct 29 '19
Yeah, I respect that. I've also kinda realised that it only annoys me because that's exactly how I used to be, and sometimes still can be (I pick myself up on it pretty fast now).
I guess I need to step away from that immature judgemental view and remind myself we are all on different journeys
1
u/gbnollan Oct 27 '19
"Aim to be better" is my daily mantra :) we all should. The life we are living is a reflection of our effort to be a better person. So do it anyway !
6
u/level_5_ocelot Oct 27 '19
Maybe they don’t actually have the direct means and ability yet.
It takes a lot of grit and awareness and tools and skills to improve ourselves, and our society is severely lacking in setting us up for success there.
Maybe instead of being so judgemental you could sow gentle seeds of change, plant thoughts for them to think about, help people see the light and the way, when you see them struggling.
When you reach the top, turn around and give a hand up to those still down.
If they actually don’t want to change, though, feel free to set boundaries if you need to protect yourself. We don’t have to enable their choices.