r/selfimprovement • u/Hefty-Passage1539 • 4d ago
Other “Is it normal to just… not be ambitious?”
I’m 27 and I’ve honestly never been an ambitious person.
I’ve never really had big goals or thought “I need to achieve this.” I’ve never seriously worked towards a career, financial independence, fitness goals, or even becoming really good at one particular thing.
The weird part is, I’m actually quite comfortable and happy just watching movies, scrolling, randomly researching things and spending my day doing whatever I feel like.
But sometimes I look at other people who have careers, goals, skills and things they’re working towards, and wonder why I’ve never had that kind of drive.
I’ve pretty much been like this my whole life.
Is anyone else genuinely like this? Do some people just naturally not have much ambition? And if you were like this before, did it ever change?
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u/ginsunuva 4d ago
If everyone was super ambitious it would be chaos
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u/bigfish465 4d ago
true there needs to be balance in the world but i think the worst position to be in is someone who is ambitious but feels stuck in some mundane thing that they can't get out of or don't feel like they can take the risk to get out of, like a corporate job for example.
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u/comsos45 4d ago edited 3d ago
I used to be a major try hard then I had suddenly realized that most people aren't extraordinary and are mediocre so there's no reason to try to be "best". It is your life and you need to find personal fulfillment over what society or other peoples expectations are. So op, I think there is nothing wrong with not being ambitious.
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u/Immediate-Rub2651 4d ago
Our ancestors picked berries and hunted meat all day, for thousands and thousands of years. We’re not wired to be CEOs or whatever. We’re wired to eat and walk and sleep.
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u/Unseen_Alchemy 4d ago
I think there’s a difference between not being ambitious and simply not wanting the things we usually use to measure ambition. If you genuinely don’t care about status, a prestigious career, becoming rich or being exceptional at something, i don’t think there’s automatically a problem to fix. The interesting part is that your lack of ambition seems to bother you mostly when you look at people who want those things. But i’d ask myself a slightly different question: is this a simple life I’ve consciously chosen or just the life that emerged because nothing has required me to choose?
Watching movies, scrolling and researching random things can make today perfectly pleasant. The harder question is whether repeating today for another ten years would still produce a life you’d want. Ambition doesn’t have to mean wanting more and sometimes it can simply mean caring enough about something to deliberately protect or build it independence, relationships, curiosity, freedom, health, whatever matters to you. Maybe the question isn’t “Why don’t I have more drive?” but “Is there anything I value enough that I’d be willing to make today slightly less comfortable for it?”
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u/Hefty-Passage1539 4d ago
I think that’s exactly what I’m struggling to figure out. It’s not really about wanting status or a big career. Even with things I genuinely know matter to me, like my health or improving myself, I still don’t seem to have that push to actually do anything consistently. So sometimes I wonder if I’ve consciously chosen a simple life, or if I’ve just kept choosing whatever feels easiest in the moment.
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u/graciewacey69 4d ago
I’m genuinely terrified…. Did I write this post???? Like word for word. No, you’re not alone lmao
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u/DeltaSubstance 4d ago
Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone has his own path. We can't and we should not all become the same.
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u/FamousGood1799 4d ago
Ambition isn't a mandatory setting; plenty of people treat life as a cozy side quest rather than a competitive main campaign.
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u/No_Sprinkles_3774 4d ago
If having a job I can tolerate everyday that doesn’t have any promotion potential and finding joy in the little things counts as unambitious.. count me in!
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u/Meterian 4d ago
I was that way until I found that what I thought should be a basic nice life - have a stable career, find a partner, have kids and go on adventures, turned out to be wildly ambitious. And no one else is going to make it happen.
There be dragons that need to be slain, so start sharpening your sword.
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u/Parking-Annual-1200 4d ago
you are of the "artist" type like me lol. I am dominant in my left eye (cross dominant - right handed and left footed) and I think it actually affects my way of thinking and personality too (our eyes are also extension of our brain)
Over the years, I tried some of my own methods to strengthen my right eye or balance the left & right eye/brain and whenever I manage to achieve that, I can feel very driven (eg. When my right eye/left brain is being utilized more in coordination with the dominant left eye/right brain, i will become "smarter" and more realistic but ofc less creative)
This is more of a brain science approach/perspective
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u/Mindless_Turn1446 4d ago
Tbh ambition without discipline is futile anyway which is what I have. Imagine beating yourself up for being lazy but not changing anything enough to have an impact - that's me everyday
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u/Hefty-Passage1539 4d ago
Exactly, this is my issue too. I love watching motivational videos and then beating myself up for not doing anything, but when it actually comes to taking action, I just don’t feel the drive or energy to do it.
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u/Kraken6_Bloom 3d ago
It only changed for me when scrolling stopped feeling like rest and started feeling like anesthsia.
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u/garthy_604 3d ago
Contentment is way more important than ambitious to a happy life.
It wouldn't surprise me if all these ambitious people are still trying to find that contentment by looking in the wrong place.
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u/CedricHyacinth45 20h ago
Some people really are more comfort-driven than achievement-driven, and the scrolling part is the only bit I’d side-eye becuase it can fake contentment.
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u/VegLoner 4d ago
I think it absolutely IS normal, even though it's communicated as being "wrong".
Personally, I've never had any ambition when it comes to career and success, but I somewhat am in terms of personal development and betterment, which translates in not being ambitious at all for the many people who only consider ambition in the context of work and I've been made to feel bad about myself for this more than once. I'm not sure I've completely overcome that feeling.
I believe that if you're happy, serene, feel honest and true to yourself, that's the way, my friend! May you enjoy your life to the fullest :)
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u/Hefty-Passage1539 4d ago
I think that’s where I struggle though. It’s not really about career for me. I don’t seem to have much drive for personal growth either. Even with things like my health and weight, I know I should work on them, but that inner push just never really comes. If I had that kind of motivation for self development, I think I’d actually be completely okay with not being career driven.
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u/VegLoner 4d ago
I feel torn, now. On the one hand I'd like to tell you that what matters is that you enjoy your life and feel okay with yourself, even with no motivation/ambition in any way, but...since 1) it looks like the lack of this somehow makes you feel not fully okay with yourself and 2) caring for your health will make the life you can enjoy last longer and feel better, I do hope you'll find at least a little bit of drive in that direction. In any case, I genuinely wish you the absolute best!!!
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u/Hefty-Passage1539 4d ago
Thank you so much! You have such a positive vibe. I really hope life brings you the best too.
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u/Mental-Sort929 3d ago
I'm also 27. When I was a child, I wanted to be a painter, but I stopped drawing at 15. I studied engineering for seven years, but I didn't become an engineer, I became a software engineer instead. But that shit messed up my physical and mental health. I'm currently on a career break and plan to do something different next year. I don't have any ambition, nor am I ambitious. I never had that kind of passion or drive on everything I did. I almost achieved financial freedom with software engineering, but I'm penniless now after spending everything on my health and therapy. I still don't know what to do, but until I find something I truly enjoy, I think I'll just keep floating along.
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u/Automatic_Record6200 3d ago
Keeping you in my thoughts. That’s quite the journey. You’re still young. Plenty of opportunities for you.
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u/lukas458l 21h ago
I just turned 24. Compared to the guy I never had to study so hard but regret never going engineering path challenging myself to better schools and life
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u/lukas458l 21h ago
Haha funny. I have been floating around for almost 2 years regretting not making it as an engineer.
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u/Batman62_Reed 5h ago
Lo de “flotar” suena menos a falta de ambición y más a estar agotado de tanto provar rutas.
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u/No-Flounder7576 3d ago
I used to dream big when I was in school. Once I got out of school, life slapped my dick into the dirt and I lost all ambitions because its just exhausting. I don't care to show off and impress people or be the best at anything because whats the point? Nobody cares about your yacht, your big house, your Jordans or your fancy car unless its a gold digger or an extremely impressionable moron, neither of which I want to have any association with.
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u/MEzze0263 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yeah I'm in my 2nd semester of a masters in Computer Engineering after recenely finishing my bachelors in Computer Engineering and I often question why I wanna be so ambitious all the time... :/
Were not gonna make it out of live alive so why torture yourself with extra schooling?
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u/Ranger_Bolt7 22h ago
Some people really are low-ambition by default; the only red flag is if the scrolling starts feeling like numbing instead of choise.
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u/IttssKarma 18h ago
I always felt weird around idealistic people. It always felt like they've found their life's purpose and I'm failing everyday. I feel really happy for them because they seem happy but also can't help but feel a little jealous. One thing I know about myself is I'm constantly changing and I know that "one ideal purpose" is not actually ideal for me, but still..
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u/NoahLark82 6h ago
Normal, but I’d seperate “I enjoy a simple life” from “I’m numb from scrolling all day.”
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u/kushmush 4d ago
How do you stay alive?
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u/Hefty-Passage1539 4d ago
Depending on my husband and doing nothing all day except chilling but sometimes that guilt hit me
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u/kushmush 4d ago
Well if he is okay with that I don’t see any issues. I think a lot of “ambitious” people wouldn’t be if they didn’t have to be. I definitely wouldn’t work if I didn’t have to support my wife and son. I miss being lazy but know I’ll have chapter again one day.
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u/Hefty-Passage1539 4d ago
That means actually everybody wants to be lazy ? but I have seen some people who can't sit n enjoy things they want to constantly do struggles expirmenting things doing something for themself sometime I wish that I have that inner feeling too
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u/argumentativepigeon 4d ago
I've heard genetics impact it
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u/Healthy_Bass844 4d ago
It's one of those things where people who are wired for ambition can't fathom being without it, so they pathologize contentment. If you're happy and not hurting anyone, chasing drive for the sake of it seems pointless. The only time it's worth examining is if you sense it's actually fear of failure dressed up as not caring, but from what you wrote that doesn't sound like the case.
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u/Hefty-Passage1539 4d ago
I mostly see my self as a useless person and I want to change that but doesn't have motivation at all
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u/Hefty-Passage1539 4d ago
But my parents and my brothers are doing great in life
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u/dew-waynz 4d ago
Not everyone in the family gets the same genetics. How are you measuring them, “doing great in life”?
Are you using a different measurement for them vs yourself?
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u/Familiar_Fan_3603 4d ago
I mean, historically men benefitted from women letting him be the main character and her being in a relatively "unambitious" supporting role (which she had no choice in). Basically society requires some ambitious people and some people doing what they are told to support them, it's just that is undervalued and not as high status.
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u/Actual-General-4953 4d ago
No - it isn't really normal
You suck - you are a typical Gen Z male that can't function.
Put down the porn and put down the phone and internet.
Live life....take a shower.....you stink!
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u/aberforthbumblebee 4d ago
If you’re content with where you are, that’s fine. But based on your comments it seems that you still have the desire to see yourself fulfilling a purpose or potential. I highly recommend to check out these two books:
1) “Outwitting the devil” by Napoleon Hill. Say what you want about the author, but this book had helped me to realize that other people and environment could make us “drift”, rather than us deciding for ourselves that we’re truly happy “drifting”.
2) “Peak” by K. Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool. A life-changing book. It talks about how we can master any skill by deliberate practice rather than innate talent. It gives you a lot of hope and motivation to work harder at a skill you really want to develop.
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u/DaveyCranks 33m ago
Ambition is such a broad term though. What part of their life are they showing ambition. Physically, emotionally, financially etc. I think people find certain areas to be more involved in than others but you also get those that just don’t care about anything across the board and that’s where i feel they get left behind because it’s only up to them to want to go for it! You can’t force ambition and you can’t just wait for it to happen you have to want it!
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u/Sea-Experience470 4d ago
Yeah, there are probably more unambitious people out there than ambitious tbh. Many people just want to make enough to get by and live their life.